#3 Rollercoaster City

Wow. Talk about a life changing experience on Wednesday! I think I had a full blown panic attack during my discharge. Everything hit me all at once about the finality of this decision and that there is no turning back. I think the pain and nonstop nausea depleted my ability to stay positive and forward-thinking. I am so going to start attending a support group in my area (1st Wed of every month) and seek counseling if necessary to keep this from happening again. I have never felt so terrified in my life! Thank God I had the benefit of a nurse (bariatric program director for my program ) who came by to give me her card during my 1st post op day while,I was still in the throes of yay- I did it! And under the last vestiges of anesthesia. Boy oh boy was she right about the first four days being hell, although it started on day two for me. I was able to connect with her yesterday several times as well as stayed in communication with my sister and mom for extra moral support at that critical time, emotionally for me. My husband was a life saver and had a front row seat for my little melt down. I don't know how I would have coped without this support network the past three days. I am physically doing as well as can be expected and concentrating on following the clear liquid diet up until tomorrow when I start adding the protein shakes. The nurse said I would definitely feel better after that. I trust her opinion since she just had the sleeve done herself about three weeks ago. I can hardly believe she is already back at work!

As much as I hanker for positive posts, I also believe it is good to be as honest as possible about the bumps in the road, too. Now I understand why everyone calls this a journey and I feel in my bones that it is not anywhere near being an easy way out.

So, from now on, I look forward and keep survival and optimum health as my holy grails. RIP recreational/emotional eating; hello food as fuel to nourish my body. Looking forward to exploring new hobbies. Baby steps, baby steps.