gofigure

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

I work in an office with a ton of thin and fit 20 somethings. (I'm 29 but have been told that I come across "much older and wiser." Um, thanks?)
As frivolous as it might sound, one of my biggest fears is having to interact with them when it comes to things like clothes, exercise, and shopping.
Right now, I am the funny, loud, super confident fat girl who "doesn't care" about what I'm wearing and makes fun of her own weight. I'm scared that when I lose the weight, I'll be forced into this world for the first time and I won't know how to handle it. Even though I make good money, my husband and I have a ton of student debt, so my wardrobe budget is very limited as it is. The thought of having so many more options available to me is terrifying. Even though I would love to have nice clothes (and I think it would help me professionally to dress better) I've hidden behind this persona of someone who doesn't care for so long, I don't know how to make that transition without looking like a flake.
I also worry that my weight has been my shield for a long time, and I'm afraid of what will happen when it's gone. I'm afraid of the attention, which, as someone who can currently command a room, is crazy. I'm not afraid of people looking at me and listening to me, but I am afraid of people really seeing me, if that makes sense. I'm afraid of losing my bubble.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

My first attempt at an upload, so let's see what happens.
First set was in October, before pre-op diet and at around 229 lbs. Surgery was April 2. Second set was just now at around 169 lbs. I'm 5'2".
I still have at least 40 lbs left to lose, but it is nice to see the progress. Also nice to see my neck and collarbones again.

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't really have any suggestions, other than to say that you don't deserve to be treated that way. Your husband sounds like an asshole.
Based on your description, you're not financially dependent on the guy and don't have kids of your own with him. You should treat yourself to a nice, relaxing vacation with the time off you have left. Maybe spending time alone will make him realize that you're not his mother/housekeeper and he doesn't get to act like a jerk because he's miserable.
Sorry if I'm being overly harsh. As a woman who is the primary earner in my household, with a fantastic and incredibly supportive husband, I just have no patience for man children who take their insecurities out on the women who love them. In any case, I wish you the best.

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't really have any suggestions, other than to say that you don't deserve to be treated that way. Your husband sounds like an asshole.
Based on your description, you're not financially dependent on the guy and don't have kids of your own with him. You should treat yourself to a nice, relaxing vacation with the time off you have left. Maybe spending time alone will make him realize that you're not his mother/housekeeper and he doesn't get to act like a jerk because he's miserable.
Sorry if I'm being overly harsh. As a woman who is the primary earner in my household, with a fantastic and incredibly supportive husband, I just have no patience for man children who take their insecurities out on the women who love them. In any case, I wish you the best.

I understand why you're feeling torn, but don't let one person's opinion turn you away from something you are doing for yourself. He says you're too young and not heavy enough? I imagine there are hundreds of people on here who would say "If only I'd done this when I was still young, before I gained so much more..."
This is a decision you have to make for yourself. If support is what you need, you'll find it here. I wish you the best.

I second most of what Jamie listed. I was given the same choice and my doctor said the same thing, he'd recommend me for either.
At my age (29), he said I should do fine with either one. I went with the sleeve because it seems slightly less extreme as a first step, and the sleeve can be revised into a bypass down the line if necessary.
I'm 2 weeks post op today and feeling pretty great. Good luck to you either way!

I really relate to this. It's also why I am 100% clueless in setting a goal weight. The smallest I have ever been as an adult was during a bout with Atkins when I was in college--and even then, I was still 45+ lbs over a healthy BMI. I'm only 5'2", but I don't know what 150 lbs looks like, or 140, 130, 120, 110... I have no idea what I'm shooting for... I just hope I know it when I see it.
Best of luck to you.

I really relate to this. It's also why I am 100% clueless in setting a goal weight. The smallest I have ever been as an adult was during a bout with Atkins when I was in college--and even then, I was still 45+ lbs over a healthy BMI. I'm only 5'2", but I don't know what 150 lbs looks like, or 140, 130, 120, 110... I have no idea what I'm shooting for... I just hope I know it when I see it.
Best of luck to you.

I really relate to this. It's also why I am 100% clueless in setting a goal weight. The smallest I have ever been as an adult was during a bout with Atkins when I was in college--and even then, I was still 45+ lbs over a healthy BMI. I'm only 5'2", but I don't know what 150 lbs looks like, or 140, 130, 120, 110... I have no idea what I'm shooting for... I just hope I know it when I see it.
Best of luck to you.

I bought a bunch of $4 off Premier Protein coupons online for a couple dollars and have been buying stores' whole stocks when they are also on sale. Gets them down to well under a dollar per shake, sometimes less. I'm not a big couponer (no patience), bit this was super easy and it took the stress out of trying to switch to a cheaper Protein.< /p>