Betsi

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.
I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!
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