Candace614

How far long are you? Are you doing better?

And they sent me flowers..... ha! ?I’m 99.999% sure the director paid for them but the card says “from the staff”. Really nice on her part & pretty to smell/look at!

I will jump right in with zero support here too. My surgery is on Monday and I have been working so hard to get here. We are doing this for us not for them. So just keep going!

Thank you everyone so, so much. You have all made me feel so much better. Honestly, your kind words brought tears to my eyes and now I'm smiling again. ?
We only have 19 employees & that's including our finance manager and janitor. There isn't even a HR department to go too! My director is a very kind soul but she hates confrontation. I'd have to go to our library board & that would cause a HUGE stink so I'm just going to power through the next 2 1/2 weeks and enjoy the month I don't have to see their faces! They will certainly see a different co-worker when I return. I will do as y'all suggested & not let their attitudes effect me in the slightest.
Thank you for the heads up about relationships changing too. I have read about that & I've talked that over with my husband. We are going to do our best to recognize issues before they turn in to full-fledged problems.
Knowing y'all are here to support me means more than I can say.

sure...... Well the biggest one was the marriage. I was married for 26 years. I was blinded to what our relationship was really... It was about me being a pleaser and him being a taker. The fatter i got the worse i felt and less confidence i had.... the more control he got. I couldn't even buy underwear without his ok. Never physically abusive... but very mental. The more confidence i got... the less control and he hated it. He NEVER approved of my WLS. Now i know why. He never wanted me to lose weight period... Back then i didn't see, i thought if only i could lose weight he would love me and show me affection... NOPE it got worse. When he saw that he had no control over me losing weight.. he would start saying.... You know, you were prettier when you were fat, you have wrinkles now... or that i looked like a bag of bones... i could go on and on.
Lost my larger friends.... I didn't fit in with them anymore. They didn't want to hear about my weight loss or eating or going to the gym. Lost some of my thinner friends too.... after i lost weight i was no longer the "fat" girl in the group and they hated that people showed me attention.
But.... my true friends supported me when i was Banded. I still choose to keep the sleeve to myself this time. Just easier to not talk about it.

Everyone has already said the same thing I feel. I would like to add that it’s not only your husband and your mom by your side cheering you on. We truly are happy for you, we truly want to see you succeed, we truly are on your side for all the good and (hopefully no) bad and (hopefully no) ugly and wonderful things that are in store for you and will support you as if you were our friend or family. Your surgery is a tool, this forum is like the grease for that tool.. you have 100s of technicians who want to help you keep your tool working for you. Oh.... and your coworkers are a different kind of tool... :)
You got this.

Although I read about other people in our lives not being supportive or downright jealous of us having our surgeries, it sure hurts when it happens to you. I'm especially surprised with how my co-workers are treating me. I'm a happy-go-lucky person who's always willing to lend a hand to people I care about & I am very tenderhearted as well so this is hitting me especially hard.
My co-workers are being rude when asked about covering my shifts while I'm off for surgery. I work at a little library with a small amount of staff and our jobs are really not that stressful so it's not like they are going to have to expend a whole bunch of energy or break a sweat working my shift. A group of co-workers even approached our director expressing "concern" that the surgery is too dangerous and that I shouldn't have it done which really baffled me since no one ever brought that up with me. Now I know that they just don't want to cover for me & are worried I'll be out longer that anticipated. I came in on Monday walking on a cloud because I finally got my surgery date & no one could be bothered to show any enthusiasm at all.
I have a co-worker who I've worked with for 5 years & I considered her to be one of my best friends. I've planned her work bridal shower and baby showers. I went to the hospital to see her first-born. She gripes constantly about her husband & I'm right there supporting her. We've done plenty of stuff together socially as well, so she's not just a work friend. In the past I've asked her for very small favors here & there and she's rarely helped me out but I asked so infrequently that it never really bothered me. I, of course, have helped her happily whenever she needed me. Well, her true colors are shining now that the surgery is approaching. I've been careful not to talk her ear off about the surgery because I can see that being super annoying. Whenever I bring it up now she just grunts in response and goes right back to talking about herself. I've asked her for two small favors in regards to the surgery and she's too inconvenienced to do either one. I am really, really hurt by her actions.
Another friend is acting jealous & responded to the news of my surgery with "I'll be interested to see how it goes for you". I haven't told friends on social media yet and now I'm definitely not going to. This will be a road I walk down with my husband on one side & my mom on the other cheering me on. I'll be just fine and I will succeed in spite of everyone's attitudes towards this huge step in my life. I'm really glad I found this community & I'm really glad you've read this far! Thanks for letting me vent!