seanab

That stuff that Spivak used was called Omnipac and I've over the years seen many of his patients discuss it.
Now, the harsh bit. I think you need to pull on your big girl boots and get real about this. First and foremost if you can find another doc, then do so. But if you have to stick with this guy, I would personally look at it this way :No relationship with the doc? So what? You dont need to piss in his pocket, you have the resources to do this, you need a service from him - that being a fill, or as many as it takes. Who cares if you cant stand him? If he's what's available, then put your feelings aside and use him.
Secondly $150 a visit? Does this deter you because its expensive (and thus tiresome) or because you genuinely cannot afford it? If you truly cant afford it, then my heart goes out to you but I really wouldnt know what you can do about that. Its really rough that your doc retired, and it really does suck, but this is what's available and you can either pay for it or you cant. If you cant, end of story, if you can but just find it annoying, well, thats a choice you're making isnt it? If it were me, I'd perhaps be going back, saying I cant afford to visit every week for these tiny fills and trying to maybe compromise on a slightly larger one, whilst still being cautious that to be unfilled will cost you money too.
You havent failed, honestly, we all need these bands filled for them to work, aftercare is vitally important. Support and compassion from our medical practitioners is invaluable, but at the end of the day, you're a pro at this, you know what to do and all you need from this guy is a medical service, not a soul mate. You also dont need to beat yourself up for not being happy with what you'd achieved,50lb is wonderful, its not small achievement, but I'm a chronic high achiever too and I personally would have been pissed off majorly to only get halfway to my goal, but I dont thnk it helps to look at what you secretely feel is a half arsed result and say perhaps I should have just settled - you're worth more than that and you got that far, you CAN go the whole way. But you need to suck up the rough situation and make it work for you.
Getting back on track is always hard and its always about blunt truths like this. They're not that great to face, but if you want the outcome, you'll put yourself through the pain. If you can possibly find a more compassionate and cheaper doctor, then obviously that's what you'd do, but if not, then I'd just be hard nosed about it, take what I need from the situation and seek moral support elsewhere.