Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

~*Dating after weight loss success*~



Recommended Posts

So anywho, I was reading a post here about dating, which got me to thinking about dating after one has lost weight with the band.

My story really quick, I'm single, have been in 1 major relationship (he left for unknown reasons, I guess I wasn't bitchy enough or something, too nice perhaps?). I have dated alot of men, and not really dated, ya know how that goes, actually I have never been on a real date. In this town it's unheard of.

Anyway, I've lived in the same town for 28 years. It's a smaller town surrounded by other smaller towns, where everyone knows pretty much everyone. Okay, I figure, since I've been here all of my life, I'm pretty much not going to find anyone around here that is interested in me, or that I'm interested in for that matter.

What I was thinking is, what's going to happen when I go through my surgery? I mean the main reason I want this surgery is to live a normal, healthy life and to have a little fun while doing it since I've missed out on so much by being obese & unhealthy in the first place. I'm thinking since I was here all of my life, and all of a sudden I lose the weight, should I date anyone that's also lived here, who I see almost all the time, knowing that they knew I used to be obese? I know it might seem stubborn, but plain and simply put, why bother with anyone around here who didn't notice the real me before, right?

I'm a believer of "If anyone wants to find that one true soul mate, stop looking." But I don't sit here all day wondering when he's going to fall out of the sky...or whatever. LOL.

I wanted to know if anyone here has been through this after their weight loss and how they dealt with it. Would it just be the stubborn Taurus coming out of me thinking like this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

JOelle GIrlfriend we have the same story. Do we live in the same town? LOL. I have lost 23lbs so far and I am getting looks from guys who didn't notice me before. I am a bit stuck up with them because I am the same person but just a little bit smaller. My mama says it looks like I lost about 50lbs instead of 23lbs cause of the walking and aerobics, that is why they are looking. I don't know if my soulmate is in my little town. I know everyone and all the guys I see around I am not interested. We have one hospital and I work there so that gives you an idea about the size. So I see alot of guys(course the hospital isn't a great pickup spot, unless they are visitors lol). I would like to know about weight loss stories and love to. I am gonna keep up with this one. Great Idea for a topic. Thanks

Dee Dee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have lost 23lbs so far and I am getting looks from guys who didn't notice me before. I am a bit stuck up with them because I am the same person but just a little bit smaller.

Dee Dee

Dee Dee....I know the feeling and that was something I really considered before I even got my band (wistful rememberance)-that guys that would never consider me before would only after I had lost weight. Here's what I came up with: Some guys, I KNEW I would give the cold shoulder because unless it benefited them...they were rude to me. Some were always nice, but that was it. We have to also consider the fact that with weight loss, we become more confident, feel sexier so we look more attractive and that in turn is more attractive to those around us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
We have to also consider the fact that with weight loss, we become more confident, feel sexier so we look more attractive and that in turn is more attractive to those around us.

I never thought about it in that way. I have noticed that I take a little extra time with my makeup and hair...hmmmm and get compliments and smiles every time. Yes and I do feel a little saucier...lol. By George I think I have got it!! Thanks Darcey!

Dee Dee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh good. I'm not alone in the way I think. LOL.

I totally understand what your saying though. I have a friend who is a little smaller than I am, but boy does she sure get attention from alot of guys. And, I was thinking about her as I typed this post. She's outgoing, not shy at all, outspoken, carries herself very well and she is a dang good dresser I might add. I on the other hand, totally opposite. I'm like a turtle hiding in her shell so to speak. LOL. But the more I get to know a person, I totally come out more. I guess I'm an okay dresser, but like I said, I live in a smaller town, and the fancier clothes are limited around here. I usually have to travel 200 miles to find the nice clothes. LOL.

Ya know though, after I think about it, that might be one of my biggest problems with the dating thing. I don't let people see the really, real me too much. Only those closer to me. But what can ya do when one lets their obesity totally covers that, ya know?

Actually, about 3 years ago, I did go down to 215 pounds, size 18, and I did feel like I was a little more sexier. Like everyone was looking at me and noticing me finally. Of course, that's after the fact. When one loses weight around here, they're either on the "Jenny Crank" diet or some other type of drug. Ha. It's crazy. But, I wasn't missing any teeth...so, ya know. LOL. Anyway, since then I've gained almost 100 pounds and I'm back in my shell again.

All in all, I totally agree that in some cases, guys do notice confidence. Something I hope that I do gain again, besides pounds. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're welcome Dee Dee. Glad to have helped.

Joelle-you will get your confidence back. I know I hide behind my fat. As much as I'm lonely and sometimes long for someone special in my life, it also scares the crud out of me and I eat to hide behind my fat again. Best wishes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Jobber

      Yesterday I "officially" eclipsed the 100 lb mark.  I'm sure if you're in any other country than the US, the 45.3 kg mark doesn't sound as much of a milestone, but it's very cathartic for me to post that I hit it. 
      I recently read back through both my BP status updates and my private journal and hitting this milestone makes all the things I "worried" about seem stupid, but I know they're not stupid because they were very real at the time.  Also, I think if I didn't give these fears my full attention, I may not have been as successful as I have been to date.
      I'm about 50 more pounds off my end goal and I know that will not be the end, I will continue to strive for bettering myself in both physical and emotional ways.  I have to hunker down and get this done. 
      I'm noticing if I don't exercise every day, the weight loss stalls quite a bit.  I'm not really into the 80/20 theory with diet and exercise, I think there's a genetic modifier that needs to be applied and it's different for everyone, just my opinion... don't hold it against me.
      · 2 replies
      1. ms.sss

        Yay, @Jobber!

        ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      2. Orchids&Dragons

        Yeah! Great milestone! Keep up the good work, wishing you much-continued success!

    • allwet

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss  »  Krestel

      RE: the running/training
      Honestly it started with me just doing laps around the kitchen that first post-op week.
      In a week, I graduated to walking up and down my street, then to walking around the block every day.
      The distance increased, then the speed.
      Then I started running little spurts during my walks, then to alternating 1km runs with 1km walks.
      And now I can do a continuous 10k (which I totally did for the first time this morning...so full of myself about it today, it’s disgusting.)
      Just do something everyday and slowly increase speed and duration, next thing you know you’ll be one of those odd “running people” (who I never understood pre-op, but now totally get, lol)
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • allwet

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • allwet

      ok, I know it proves me as weird as some of you always thought but this was a fun site to kill time on.
      https://www.omnicalculator.com/
      enjoy 
      · 2 replies
      1. Ava R

        Happy Sunday! I like weird people. Normal people are boring! :) I began following you and wanted to know if there are any other members you would recommend? My surgery is 8/29/19 and I want to learn as much as possible. Have a great day and thanks so much for the website.

      2. Orchids&Dragons

        I love it! Thanks!

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×