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Is anyone keeping their surgery a secret?



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My point is I feel like a liar at this time. I feel that I have to watch what I say all the time and lie, lie, lie. It makes my band seem shameful to me, as I thought others would feel about me if I told them about the lapband when I did it.

I'm thinking about telling people now, but can you imagine what they'd think of me for lying to them for 16 months and then coming out with the truth.

I'm not a liar by nature.

All I want to say is think about what it will be like in the longterm. I know you'll make the right decision,. Good luck to all those who have their date coming up. It's a great tool and you will probably be happy you did it just like me.

Thanks for that-

I realize that maybe the reason that I have been telling more people and told the woman I talked about in my last post is just this! Besides trying to inform and help her,I am not ashamed of my band and I am not a liar!! JUst so tired of making up excuses of how I lost 123 lbs!! I still think I will hold back on telling too many people I don't know who just come out of the woodwork and tell me I look great and how did I do it. But this post put a new perspective on things for me.

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I've read all the recent posts and have to say that I only told a few select people, then a few more select peole who are told to keep it to themselves. I didn't want anyone to know because they'd think I'm weak andcouldn't do it on my own. I didn't want anyone watching what I eat, or commenting on my eating habits, or giving me grief, or looking at how much weight I lost.

But I have to tell you that I am 16 months out and it's getting more and more uncomfortable for me. First I said I was doing Protein shakes to lose the weight, eatomg small meals, then I added exercise (which I don't do much), then I went to saying I took diet pills as more and more people were asking and wanting to know how I lost the weight and so fast.

My point is I feel like a liar at this time. I'm really uncomfortable saying I took diet pills, people see how fast I've lost and have probably come to their own conclusion anyway. But now, I feel that I have to watch what I say all the time and lie, lie, lie. It makes my band seem shameful to me, as I thought others would feel about me if I told them about the lapband when I did it.

I'm thinking about telling people now, but can you imagine what they'd think of me for lying to them for 16 months and then coming out with the truth.

I'm not a liar by nature.

All I want to say is think about what it will be like in the longterm. I know you'll make the right decision,. Good luck to all those who have their date coming up. It's a great tool and you will probably be happy you did it just lik me.

Its NOT about being Weak! Its about taking responsibility for yourself and giving you your Life back... People Sadly are Judgemental by Nature and will Judge you..

Do it for You! Your Health and Wellbeing! Its private unless you want the World to know as News Travels Fast!

Trust me Keep it Quiet people are GOSSIPS and will Judge you Whatever your reasons for doing it...

Most of Us have A slow Metabolism, I have!! and an Occupational Injury to my Lower back and RT Knee this weight Loss Journey can only be a Positive thing...

Dont worry what others think! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:smile:

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I am being banded on 11th of June. I have only told my husnad so far. I need to get some time off work and am not sure what to tell them. My boss sits next to me and there are only about 12 other people in my office who are all really gossipy. I have not worked there long and will feel weird if they know the truth. Should I just say I am getting suregery and leave it at that? They will all pester me about it. Anyone got any suggestions or experiences.:smile:

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Just say you are having SURGERY Ladies Problems and say its Personal, then they wont ask anymore... IF you eat with them and they notice you are losing just say you are cutting down on portion size which effectively is what we are all doing!

Remember Data Protection and Confidentiality! Less said the Better.. Family member only I think for Medical Purposes...

Best of Luck Mine in 29th May ...:smile:

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I told DH - that's it. And 16 months later, he is still the only one who knows. (He only knows because someone had to drive me home from the clinic and I volunteered the info; he didn't ask - gotta love him). I have had only 1 or 2 people ask me how I'm losing weight...my response: Why would you ask such a personal question? (Smiling nicely, and in a soft tone). No one asks further.

To me, I would no more ask anyone about their weight loss/gain then I would ask if they dye their hair, or what their shoe size is. By giving answers, we are encouraging people to continue to ask questions as if somehow it is ok to do so. I believe that it is not right to ask personal questions of anyone...

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Absolutely!:smile:

Edited by Richardson

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I am going to piss a whole lot of people off, but here goes.

1. I don't have a problem with the secret thing, as long as the weight loss is not being passed off as "I did it all myself" thing. My wife has a friend that had the band last august and she it taking that route, I just feel this is dishonest. Someone said something like, i will tell people I am just eating less and exercising, which is true. And it is true to a point, but if we could eat less and exercise on our own, who would have a band? It's just buged me when I read, I did the work myself, then why did you drop 15K on a band, BECAUSE YOU NEEDED IT. I tried dozens to fimes to eat less, but my chickens always came back home to roost. Now, with my band eating is not enjoyable anymore, so I eat a lot less. I know everyone is going to shit themselves, but I think passing the weight loss of as hard work on your part is dishonest.

2. Someone else stated that most people have a negative perception of WLS, well how is that going to change if 98% keep it a secret.

If somebody ask me, I tell them. I have taken four people so far to info seminars give by my doctor. I don't care, shit, i was 500 hundred pounds and more or less immobile, now I can skip around home depot like a fairy, I don't care what people think.

Also in that vein, you know someone that has a negative experience with the band is going to talk about it, so tons of negative stuff going out, and if no one's talking about it, ....ah, fiddlesticks.

let the bashing gegin...

wait...

Oh, hope everyone has a good day..

Now, begin..

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Everybody who knows me knows I have a band. I was so excited about it I told everyone. However, I have been working my butt off to loose weight. I walk 4-5 times/week, I go to the gym 3-4 times/week and I swim laps. Also, It is my choice to eat healthier. This weight is not falling off of me because of the band. The band is aiding me in eating less. So yes, I do take credit for the weight loss. I haven't had a fill yet and my stomach doesn't seem much smaller. I am disappointed in the quantity I am able to eat. I had hoped it would be significantly less but it isn't. I'm hoping that getting a fill will take care of this then maybe I will give more credit to the band.

weight.png

Banded 4/17/09

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thats great, but will power only takes you so far, I am generalizing, but if our willpower lasted forever no one would need a band.

I did weight watchers for several months and lost 75 pounds, I kicked ass at it, but, after a while, my willpower faded and I gained back 100.

My point was simply that we, and again I am generalizing, couldn't do it without the band, again, if we could, we wouldn't need the band. If you go the rest of you life without needing a fill, congrats, but theres going to come a time when the enthusiam slows down and it's not enough to sustain what you doing, then the band is there.

The reason I am losing weight, is what I am doing and eat, but i COULD NOT do it with the band, bottom line. So if anyone asks, i pipe up about it. I would feel dishonest if I didnt.

On the flip side, when you start getting your fills, you won't be able to eat much, and the cooler thing is you wont even want to.

have a good day,

brian

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Brian,

I totally agree with you! I have probably lost and gained 1000 lbs in my life. I'm hoping the band is going to fix that. I hope the fill works, I am scheduled for next Saturday for a fill. I was really hoping it would keep me from over-eating.

weight.png

Banded 4/17/09

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dont expect one fill to get you where you need to be, I had to get about 7, to get me where I am. So don't get your hopes up too much, odds are, you won't feel any different. However, you will, maybe not after this fill, or the next fill, or the next fill, but you will get there, and when you do, it is great.

I just got back to my store from running errands, and we had some old crusty bean and cheese burritos left over, I grabbed one of thoes peeled the petrified tortilla off and ate the insides, and I am plum stuffed. My wife wants pizza tonight, and I just said, about a minute ago, I don't care what you get, I'm not going to have any. Without my band I would have been like, "Hot Damn, pizza, lets get two larges, cheesesticks, and buffalo wings", for the three of us, we have an employee working too, that could have never happened before.

Just for reference these bean and cheese burritos and the 4.5 ounce of something similar Fernandos buritos, So figure the tortill was probably half the calories and half the weight, so I am freaking stuffed on about 2 ounces and maybe 150 calories.

Sucks, from my old perspective, but awesome for my new life. In the old days I could have eaten 10.

Anyway, you will get there, maybe not tomorrow, but you will, and you will know it when you do.

brian

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I haven't told anyone other than my husband. I wanted to make this decision on my own without the stress of everyone's opinion

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I've told my dh, my firechief (I'm a volunteer EMT), and my old dietician from my most recent weight loss foray. DH for obvious reasons, my firechief because I wanted him to know that I was doing something about my problem (since I'm having trouble doing my job), and my dietician because I want her help as I lose weight. (She's worked with bypass patients and is willing to learn how to help me succeed with the band.) I'll be telling my PCP next Tuesday.

I don't anticipate telling anyone else (well, maybe my ex-husband... but we are close and he's been through many ups and downs with me and my weight).

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I am going through the same thing kinda of. I have been wanting this band ever since I gave birth to my son in Nov-06. I told everyone I was going to try and get it but then I found out my Ins.Policy had it blocked out. My sister got her band OCT-08 and has already lost 80 lbs. At 1st I was jealous because I wanted it before she did but I had to let it go and be happy for her because she's my sis & I love her. Not to mention that she is diabetic and I have no health issues even though I weigh 317.

Anyways, I came up with the money to Self Pay & my 1st appt. with the surgeon is tomorrow. I will probably be banded within 2 weeks. My sis, husband, & mom know. I haven't told any of my friends because I'm afraid it will jinx me. I probably won't tell anyone else until I've lost quite a bit of weight because I don't want anyone elses input, envy or opinions.

In my opinion -Keep it to yourself until you are ready to share. But it's good you have a couple of close allies to support you along with this forum. I just joined it today & that was one of the major reasons I did it. So I can have support & also share while keeping my secret. GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS YOU!!!!:thumbup:

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Self pay rocks, I went from consult to banded in less than two months. I heard some of the hoops the other insurance people have to jump through.

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