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Fat vs Not Fat Dating/Sex

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Ok, so I'm curious about something. Before the band, meeting men, feeling attractive, flirting, dating, and sex has been an awkward and uncomfortable thing for me. mainly because i feel so self-conscious about my fat and totally insecure and uncomfortable putting myself out there. Aside from all the health and shopping perks, I'm really hoping this dating and sex stuff gets better.

For you single bandsters, or even not single, how did this change after band (if at all)?

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I am not single, I am happily married. Was happily married when I was morbidly obese, and in fact saw little if any change in his desire of me. We were good then, and are good now.

What I have seen is a change in how I receive attention from other men. They meet my eye in the store, I have doors held for me, and conversations started in stores where as before, I was invisible.

Now that being said, I am likely responsible for some of it. Not that I am flirty now, but in the way that I felt ashamed of myself before, I didn't look approachable, and didn't make eye contact because I didn't want to see them avoid meeting my eye, or see that they pretended not to see me. Hell they might have surprised me if given a chance, at least some....but there were too many that DID avoid looking at me for me to even want to see that again, so I avoided looking at them.

Now it isn't a big deal, I have confidence that I lacked before and I think that in and of itself is attractive, and not only to men, women are friendlier as well. I find myself engaged in conversations in line at the store or at the bowling alley, or just anywhere...much more often than before. But I am also not afraid to start those conversations myself....something I did not do 100 pounds ago.

I also noticed the men DH works with, they act much more shocked by the change than I thought, and he says they give him a hard time about having a new woman!

I think when your confidence returns, so will your attention!!!


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I am a good one to answer this question.

I freely admit that the reason I wanted the band was so I could get a boy friend. I was on several dating sites for a long time with no luck. The guys that I was attracted to were not attracted to me. The guys I met that wanted to explore a possible relationship with me, I had no desire to date. I was tired of sending my picture out and having guys stop writing.

When I lost the weight, I met my bf on match.com. He is really into fitness and is a long distance runner. I know we would have never gotten together if I was still so overweight. We would not be able to do the things that we do now and both enjoy because when I was so overweight, I didn't enjoy outdoor activities.

Things will change when you lose the weight. Like Kat said, you'll have more confidence and life will be much more enjoyable!

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I really feel a large part of it is that you feel more attractive and project that therefore you are. People respond to your confidence and you're more open to other people.

Because plenty of overweight women are very attractive!

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