Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Question for the Ladies; Men you can answer too



Recommended Posts

After losing a noticable amount of weight,and getting compliments from the ladies in my office I noticed that the men WILL NOT say anything even if they notice it.

I mentioned to a few men in my ofcie about the amount of weight I have lost. They all say, "Yeah I noticed but I did not want to say anything just in case." Whats with that.

I had to educate a few of them. I told them even if you are wrong about saying we look like we lost weight when we haven't; it still makes us feel good.

Ladies have you experienced this?

Men, whats the deal???:confused_smile:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think people are afraid to say something because they might be wrong. Some people might think that you lost weight but you actually gained and that would make someone feel terrible so they just say well I should keep to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean like clothes hanging off noticable.

I wear a uniform everday and I am waiting to get new ones until I am at a point they are falling off of me so I won't have to get new ones again shrotly there after. I look like a kid wearing my dads cloths. It's that noticable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps in the workplace, men feel uncomfortable commenting on a woman's appearance. It could be perceived as an inappropriate comment in a work environment. Do you feel like the men NEED to compliment you? What is in it for you if they do/don't?

Congrats on your weight loss- we all need cheerleaders in our corner, but why is it so important that male coworkers comment on it? Perhaps it would be more meaningful coming from friends and family?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also meant to say> I would not like it people that I have a professional relationship made comments about my appearance either positive or negative. Different strokes for different folks!

Kat W

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

consider the source

Men just don't think to say things like that.

Also they may be concerned that you would consider a simple comment an advance and not just a nice thing to do.

Us men just don't think like you girls

Anyway just some ideas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, the men I used to work with wouldn't even notice if I dyed my hair pink and came to work. I think it is just their nature. Unless they have any attraction to you they usually don't notice much. Not to diss men or anything, guy's can just be oblivious most of the time. At least that's what I think. I've been wrong many times before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm if it's that noticable they might be frightened to say something thinking you would be offended as in sexually etc. Other than that I don't know. Men are hard to understand...women are too...I don't understand myself half the time. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think its important at all, my office is very open and we discuss a lot of things that could not be discussed in an open forum. Its just when I mention it, they say yeah I've noticed but was afraid to say anything just in case you didn't.

We are a very close group (Family) I'm a police officer. We spend countless hours with each other and we notice the small things because our lives depend knowing and picking up on the littlest things. Maybe my first message was not worded properly. They are fearful to say anything out of fear of offending. I informed them that most compliments are not offensive.

My family and close friend see me everyday and don't see the small cahnges. So they only notice when I change the normal way I dress or something like that.

I was just soliciting opinions on why men would be so afraid to pay a woman a compliment. Now that I have informed a few that it is okay and flattering they are complimenting all of us.

Edited by Ann D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After losing a noticable amount of weight,and getting compliments from the ladies in my office I noticed that the men WILL NOT say anything even if they notice it.

I mentioned to a few men in my ofcie about the amount of weight I have lost. They all say, "Yeah I noticed but I did not want to say anything just in case." Whats with that.

I had to educate a few of them. I told them even if you are wrong about saying we look like we lost weight when we haven't; it still makes us feel good.

Ladies have you experienced this?

Men, whats the deal???:confused_smile:

AnnD - is about the whole PC mindset now a days - some people might think they are comming on to you or trying to hit on you..

My whole office knew that I got banded and I get complements from the guys all the time (they are all like brothers to me) heck I have worked with them for 20+ yrs -

In fact today one of the owners came up to me and said I was looking good since I lost weight - I said to him "Oh you thought I was ugly 10 months ago" He laughted and left...

Even fat I dressed and looked good for a fat chick - now I look extra good in my size 8 white capris...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Kat, I guess my take on the "men" commenting thing is this: Most men are scared sh**less to say ANYTHING when it comes to a woman's weight. Most of them have heard the dreaded questions from their women, i.e. "Does my butt look big in these jeans?" I think most men would rather run like hell rather than answer a question like that or bring up a woman's weight, good or bad. WE did that to them!

Congrats on the weight that you have lost and wishing you continued success.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, think of all the threads we have here complaining about what people say about our weight, the backhanded compliments, the things we take offense at when none is intended. Why should we be surprised that men are afraid to say anything?

My son is the same; he was visiting last week and didn't say a word until I brought the subject up, then just mumbled, "It shows."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a single mom of two boys, 11 and 13. I have always taught them that it is disrespectful to ask anyone what they weigh, how old they are, how much money they make, etc. And women are completely nutso about weight, age, all that stuff. Their prob. afraid you will cry or go off on a rant. Just be happy on your own about it. Everyone here is happy for you too!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! Lucky you to work with such a great group! If they are afraid to comment, and you welcome them to do so, make a joke about it! My sister loves her birthday and she always wears a tiara to work and a pin that says "Thanks for wishing me Happy BD! Gifts accepted until midnight." Something like that to break the ice?

KatW

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow,

I did not mean to stir up such a contorversal topic.

I was just trying to get into the mind set of the guys I work with, and see if anyone else had experienced similar things.

I guess, I'm just stirring the pot. Hey it got us thinking didn't it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×