Need support

taylorrae9 · March 12, 2005

Hi guys - I am a little shy on the sharing end but I could really use some support. I have had a lot of stress in my life since my surgury and self care has taken a back seat. I felt so excited about the lapband and even chose to pay cash for it when I could have had the by-pass. I thought it looked harder in that you needed to stay focused but it was a healthier and safer alternative.

Well. tonight I met with some dear friends and my partner. Two have has the by-pass and lost their wieght so quickly. A third is going to have the by-pass more for insurance reasons but also due to the fact that my weight loss seems harder than theirs. I feel like I made a mistake since my weight has been slower. I feel like a failure. People say I look better and now I am lying about my wieght loss. I started at 300 and surgury was 282 and now I am 250. So I was down sixty but have gained 8 in the past two months. some could be Water but I think most of it is food.< /p>

Honestly, I am still having a hard time doing everything advised. I feel like all my food gets stuck in my throat unless it is a soft food like tuna. I chew well and have even cut things up small. Some days are better then others but on the harder days I sip fluids to get the food down and to avoid the uncomfortable feelings of choking. Now I have only PB's a few times and each time has been with meat. So I am eating a lot of tuna and eggs and ground meats.< /p>

I am almost 4 months post-op and am scheduled for a fill next friday. I missed my last one due to a death in the family. I am GAINING weight. I was down to 242 and am at 250. I think I should go back to protien shakes for a week before my fill but am not sure. I think my band is okay but I can eat more on some days than I thought I would. I am hungry sometimes and my hair is falling out. Now... I have a mop of hair so there is no alarm here but I am wondering if I am eating to little protien.

Today I had an egg and slice of whole grain bread for Breakfast. coffee and diet tea in the am.

lunch was a bean and cheese burrito from taco bell. I mainly suck the Beans out because I can eat it easily and get back to work.

dinner was a slice of pizza (small) and some salad.< /p>

I had some nuts and 2 small Cookies for a snack around 5pm and dinner was a chucky cheese for a kid party. Normally I would have had tuna at lunch but I forgot it today and put in a 12 hour day at the office.

I returned to work a month post-op and when I first went back I avoided all the Snacks but I have started eating some and think this is a problem. I was so careful and then I broke some of the rules and it seemed to become a habit so quickly.

It is much harder than I expected. I want to work out but with the three kids, fulltime work and some family losses I feel lost. I am also afraid to see the MD because I am not going to be doing well when I see him in a week.

Sorry for the long post I just feel like everyone I know has done the by-pass and it seems so different.

Thanks so much and please if this is in anyway not an okay posting feel free to delete it.

Infaith · March 12, 2005

Oh Melanie, you're beating yourself up! You've done an incredible job with your weight loss! 50 pounds in 4 months...WOW! Does sound like you're needing to concentrate on your Protein though. Yes, bypass patients will lose faster and seemingly easier at first, but within a couple of years bypass and band patients lose about the same totally. Faster weight loss is not necesarily a good thing. This a lifelong commitment to better health, not a race (remember the tortise and the hare).

Take care and be good to yourself.

vinesqueen · March 12, 2005

Melanie, first and formost, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You have lost 60 pounds in 4 months!!!! Yes, you gained a measily 8 pounds, but you had a terrible tragiidy to deal with.

Weight loss with the band is slower than the by-pass. But that slower weight loss, I think, lets your body and mind adjust to it's new shape.

I believe Donali posted a very important post about the importance of not compairing our journy to others. I couldn't find it, could someone please bump it for Melanie?

I truely believe this is a very personal journy. If we compair ourselves against others then we are pretty much garanteed to be disapointed with the results. For instance. I just got a "B" on my math mid-term. My best study-buddy got an "A". Now, I could be terribly disapointed with my grade, but instead I am THRILLED for the B I got and just as thrilled for her "A".

Also, from what I understand, you friends with the by-pass have only a short window in which to lose their weight. We can go slower. And don't forget, slow and steady win the race.

babsyintx · March 12, 2005

Hi Melanie,

You are doing great and you need to stop beating yourself up. THe beauty of the band is that it is adjustable and there is no window of opportunity to lose the weight. You need a band adjustment. The general rule is that if you are not losing for 3 weeks or more at least 1-2 pounds a week and you are following the bandster rules you should get a fill. If you are not working the band and eating high caloric soft food instead of solid Protein, you need to work on this . Let me make some suggestions though because I know what it is like to have a busy life that involves full time work and kids.

I found that when I sat down and ate dinner with my family that I would get stressed out and I had trouble with meat cause I couldnt concentrate on chewing because of the distractions of a 3 year old and 9 year old demanding my attention. So now, when I make dinner, I let my kids eat first, tend to their needs and then attempt to eat my food last. This way I can take my time, concentrate and chew my food thoroughly. Also, it sounds like you are eating lunch on the run. This is not a good thing because you will gravitate to softer foods that have lots of calories when you are in a hurry.

Prepare your lunches in advance. Bring things that you can nibble on during the day like hard boiled eggs, tuna, pieces of chicken breast, string cheese, yogurt, ham or turkey rollups, turkey chili from the can.

Regarding exercise, it is imperative that you find 1/2 hour a day to do something to improve your cardio health and develop muscle. Walk around the neighborhood, take a jazzercise class a couple times a week or invest in an elliptical trainer. The exercise should become a habit because this will be your saving grace when you have days where you make less intelligent food choices. Kids, jobs and other responsibilities are just excuses not to exercise. If there is a will, there is a way. I did exercise for the last 20 months and for the last month or so, I have been very slack with exercise and I feel more tired and run down as a result. You will have more energy, less sagging skin and a little more leeway occasionally to have a cookie or special treat.

You can do this. Up your Protein, drink lots of Water and exercise if you want a quicker result. And get a fill if you really need one.

Babs in TX

334/180

-154

New goal: 170

paula · March 12, 2005

(((Melanie)))

big hugs to you!!!

First of all, I did the math on this - and you had surgery on Nov 30, right? Roughly 14 weeks ago. And a total loss of 37 pounds since your surgery date. Thats about 2.5 pounds per week... so you are right on track!

Next thing I want to address here is the tuna issue.

Are you eating albacora tuna? This is going to sound crazy, but I am living proof that this is real. About 2 weeks ago I started eating lots of tuna (albacore). A 6oz can a day. After a week I started noticing my hair falling out... alot! I started getting really emotional... rage one minute/crying the next. Even depression -and VERY tired all of the time, no energy.

When I was trying to figure out what was going on with my body, I checked into the tuna. I found that albacore tuna has very high levels of mercury, and when the body consumes too much mercury these symptoms surface.

IF you are eating albacore, try chunky light tuna for a week or so... see if this helps the hairloss.

Hang in there!

Penni60 · March 12, 2005

{{{{{{{{{{{{MELANIE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I think that at some point most of us second guess our decision. And yes I can see where you would think you had made the wrong choice when you see your friends losing so much faster than you. I am a slow loser as well. And yes it is frustrating, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have been on programs where you lose the weight fast and believe me I did not feel as good losing it fast as I do now losing it slow.

The bypass works for some people but they do have a "window" of opportunity for losing. And they can gain most if not all of the weight back at some point. THink about this, in the next year or so you will at or near goal and your friends could be gaining. Then who would have made the right decision?

I don't want to sound like I am demeaning the choice they made. It was their choice and it is working for them. But Melanie this band is working for you too. You just hit a wall like most of us have and now we really have to work WITH the band.

I have been on a long plateau right now. I know I am not following the rules and I am not eating the right foods. I am not thinking it was a bad choice to get the band. I know I have to get back on track and work it again.

Losing weight is hard work. That part sucks.

Gaining weight is easy. That part sucks.

Support is a must in this weight loss process. We are here for you. We support you and feel your frustration.

This too shall pass.

WORK WITH THE BAND!!

the best me · March 12, 2005

Thanks so much and please if this is in anyway not an okay posting feel free to delete it.

Are you kidding?!! This is just what LBT is here for!!! You are doing great...I know it's hard to have confidence about your decision when you compare to others, particularly with bypass. It's just such a different journey.

THANK YOU for posting such real life concerns...it does nothing but help others. Maybe we hear it again, get back to the basics, and some, like me, are better prepared for our journey...

I'llsucceed · March 12, 2005

Oh Melanie, you're beating yourself up! You've done an incredible job with your weight loss! 50 pounds in 4 months...WOW! Does sound like you're needing to concentrate on your Protein though. Yes, bypass patients will lose faster and seemingly easier at first, but within a couple of years bypass and band patients lose about the same totally. .

Infaith is so right Melanie- all the scientific studies prove it. 50 pds come on.. that is wonderful. So you hit a rough patch you will know what to do to get out of it. Maybe its a matter of trying just one or two differnt things. Like parking a little further away. Take the stairs when available. Do a leg lift when watching TV or simply make it a MOM's time for 15 mins everyday. no excuses. I know it is sooooo much easier said than done but you made the right choice & will be better of years from now with less skin problems & hopefully less health problem.

If your by-pass friends give you a rough time- eat something really sweet in front of them;0)

taylorrae9 · March 13, 2005

Thanks gang. I am really needed a buster shot in the arm. All your posts have helped me.

I am loosing a lot of hair and eating a lot of tuna. I am also trying to care for my family and eat at the same time. I am so busy that we are really trying to see if I can cut my job to 50 percent or hire a nanny. I had a much easier time taking care of myself when I was home with the baby.

I have started to walk more and am choosing to walk to pick up the kids from a friends or tutoring instead of getting into the car. My daughter was shocked the other night when she came out of tutoring and she looked aroung and then asked where the car was. I ended up doing it with both of them and so we took a short walk and chatted. I even walk to the mail box and am doing more around the yards with the kids. I belong to a club and Friday they were all there and I was stuck at work. I feel like going to the club and that is a good sign. This week I will pack my cloths and things so I can go at lunch. I don't eat very much so I can at least use my time there. It seems like since I don't stop to eat long that I simply do more. Run more errands, do more tasks and take the kids more. I almost don't know how to take a break since food was my break. I remember thinking that I could tell how stressed out I was by the number of fastfood stops I had in a day. I am stopping at Taco bell and that should have been a major sign. I will pack my food - I pack the kids so I can pack mine.

Yes...I am second guessing my choice, but really what it is for ME is that I have to be so conscious of what I am doing. I enjoy eating a treat and not being really ill but I need to be more careful because I don't have that behavior built in. I was worried about this but thought it would be okay and really iti is ahrder than I imagined.

My partners only concern with the choice to have the band is that I might get discouraged and that I was more drawn to sugar than food. I decided today that I would not eat any treats because when I used fit day it seems that those little treats would push me right past 800. It feels different than I expected and when I see the MD I will have to have an honest account of what is going on. I need a fill and will be getting one. I hope it helps...a lot.

Again, I thank you all. You all nailed a piece of it for me. thanks

Alexandra · March 13, 2005

Melanie, it sounds like you're taking a lot of great steps! Walking more is definitely going to give your metabolism a boost. And you've identified the behaviors that are your downfall so now you can target and eliminate them. Good work!!

You'll find that a fill really will help, too. Don't worry about what the doctor says--you're doing absolutely wonderfully and are very much on track! He'll be as proud of you as we are.

New Hope · March 13, 2005

Hi guys - Honestly, I am still having a hard time doing everything advised. I feel like all my food gets stuck in my throat unless it is a soft food like tuna. I chew well and have even cut things up small. Some days are better then others but on the harder days I sip fluids to get the food down and to avoid the uncomfortable feelings of choking. Now I have only PB's a few times and each time has been with meat. So I am eating a lot of tuna and eggs and ground meats.
I am hungry sometimes and my hair is falling out.

Melanie, please be careful about getting a fill if you are currently having problems w/foods getting stuck. This will just increase your problems! You shouldn't be drinking with your meals. Try getting more Protein in your diet. Are you also taking a daily multi-Vitamin. You have done amazingly w/your weight loss. Please sit back and enjoy how far you've come.

taylorrae9 · March 14, 2005

Hi everyone. I think my wieght loss ticker was misleading so I changed the presentation and updated my new weight. I need to be honest because for so many years I lied about my wieght.

I am feeling better and am going to hit the gym tomorrow and am very excited to go. I will also talk with my doctor and ask for a referral to a nutritionist. I think I need some more education about the food issues. I am eating the flinstone chewables, B12 sublingual and some Calcium chewables. I alo bought this really expensive organic liquid Vitamins and they are awful so hopefully I'll get to a place where I'll get them down.

I am so glad you are all here and appreciate all the feel back. All of it helps me so much. I am feeling better about my choice and actually had some really great conversations with close friends about food and how different it all is now. We had so many people that we simply ate with and now we need to find a new way to connect. Food plays such a smaller part in our lives and it has been hard for people to adjust.

When my partner had surgery there was a time I felt resentful about the shifts around eating out and food preperation so now I am glad that we are on different but similiar paths. We spent the whole weekend with the kids at the park, swimming and more swimming. The decision to have surgury truely is the best gift I could have ever given my children. They really see a difference and for that I am grateful. SO I am grounded once again and hope that you all realize how wonderful you are. Good night.

jqpublic · March 14, 2005

cheer up, your doing great! Don't eat to much tuna try can chicken or may be potted meat. also try stay away from the pizza lots of fat grams. drink lots of Water it will help you with hunger feeling remember your doing good!!! take care God bless!

PamRN · March 14, 2005

You really are doing much better than you'd given yourself credit for! I've lost 48 lbs and it's been 5.5 months since banding for me. You've got me beat so far! I've had losses and gains in that time, but continue in a nice slow but downward trend.

The gains are scary aren't they? I haven't gotten used to the idea that those will NOT be permanent yet, so everytime I see one I get that familiar sense of dread, only to replace it with this new sense of joy and disbelief a few days later when it's gone and then some!

Old feelings and habits are VERY hard to break, I know I could be losing much faster if I were stricter with my diet. I am more careful since banding, but not diligent. With this I am comfortable. I am not a perfect bandster. I'm ok with that. If I had the ability to be perfect about eating I'd have never gotten overweight in the first place. I think I might fall somewhere in to the average bandster category.

I have decided to pick battles I can win. Thanks to the restriction of my band I can win the war on over eating by having some of, but much less of something I really crave, rather than lose all hope by denying myself to the point of feeling cut off from things that are normal for others. (and having the craving for that which I deny myself grow stronger)

RNY people lose a lot more than fat weight when they lose so fast, remember that they've had part of their weight cut out in important intestinal organs. They also have to lose fast because they are on a time clock, that window of loss opportunity closes for them after a time. Our window is as open or closed as we want it, for as long as we have our bands. Don't bother to compare yourself to them. I wouldn't be surprised if they don't end up envying you, and wishing they'd taken the safer, less invasive, longer term route.