How do I know when I'm done?

[Spinoza 1,132]

Actually maybe the correct question is - how did you know when you were done?

I am within a couple of pounds of my original (completely arbitrarily chosen) goal weight. Which by the way I never really believed I could reach. I was sleeved 10 months ago and am still losing around half a pound a week on 1200 calories (ish) a day - a bit more at weekends because I drink some alcohol then. I am hungry at times but I can keep that at bay by eating lots of Protein Snacks alongside my 3 meals a day, which are protein and veg for the main - still not much in the way of carbs.

My question is - did you just select a goal weight and stick to that? Did you achieve/maintain this by intentionally increasing your calorie intake once you got there? I'm thinking I could easily go up to 1600/1800 calories a day and probably maintain at that or thereabouts. Or did you just keep going as long as you could, staying on the right side of hunger (AKA deprivation, LOL) and see how low you could go, and does the weight loss then fizzle out? If I did that would I ever be able to up my calories again without gaining?

So many questions, LOL. I would really appreciate your thoughts and experiences.

[SpartanMaker 676]

Certainly no experience here since I just had surgery, but I'll provide my perspective. 😁

For me, I could care less what the number is on the scale. I did this to feel healthy again and not be ashamed of my weight. I don't want to travel and see the disappointment and disgust on my seat-mates when they see the fat guy is sitting next to them. I want kids to be proud of me, not ashamed. I want my wife to get her "knight in shining armor" back that she had all those years ago. I want to feel "normal" in public, (whatever that is), instead of like a pariah. I want to be able to go to places I always wanted to go but couldn't because of my lack of physical fitness. I want to feel strong and powerful again.

I probably could go on and on, but my point is I'll know I'm "done" when I look and feel healthy again. Whether that's at 220, 170, or somewhere inbetween, it really does not matter.

Edited September 27, 2022 by SpartanMaker

[Smanky 743]

It’s a strange one, because I can now fit into some size US8/AU12 clothes which was always my “goal size”, yet I’m still 4kg from my goal weight. I could stop now and do maintenance and be perfectly happy. Weight loss is very slow at this point. But I personally still want to lose this final 4. If I can’t, however, I won’t be disappointed. My results have been better than I could have hoped.

[Arabesque 6,446]

I reached my goal & was happy, so I started to increase my intake to find my maintenance point. But I kept losing. More & more slowly of course. By the time I did stabilise I was a good 11kg less than my goal. I was eating three meals a day & 4-5 Snacks. I settled around that quite happily for about a year. But with a medication & a dietary change I gained 2kgs & have been there for 9 months. I eat around 1300-1400 calories a day. Still have to snack a few times a day to reach those calories (& get in the extra Protein I need) but not as many as initially. I think this is about the weight my body is happy at too - my body’s set point.

Maintaining at that lower weight wasn’t/isn’t an issue. How I eat doesn’t impact how I want to live & enjoy my life & doesn't require me to run miles or spend hours in the gym (a big positive to me - LOL!). And I guess they’re the real factors to consider. Are you happy at the weight you reach & does maintaining it allow you to live & enjoy your life as you want without feeling you are missing out or making sacrifices? And is it sustainable? I say this a lot but it is what is working for me.

[kcuster83 1,502]

Good question! I don't have any answers but I think about this too.

I picked a "goal" weight based on how I felt/looked after a large weight loss years ago. I got down to about 255 lbs and looked shockingly small in pictures. I felt great so I kind of picked 225 lbs as my goal weight to get just past that. My surgeon agreed with it as a healthy manageable goal weight.

Really, I would like to see 199 on the scale ONE time but then bounce back to around 225.

i only want to see 199 so I can say I did. haha. I literally NEVER remember a time I saw a "1" in the front of my weight. i think by the time I got to the age of caring or even knowing to weigh myself I was already over 200 lbs.

I don't want to stay there because I am 6ft tall, and my personal preference is not to be "skinny" but to be healthy and comfortable.

Honestly though, I am taking it day by day. If I get to 250 lbs and I am good with it then lucky me. If not, I will keep pushing until I am satisfied.

I am already off all medications and healthy so I have already won in my book.

[Spinoza 1,132]

Thank you guys - all really helpful! Really interesting to hear that you lost so much whilst not really planning to @Arabesque

Bumping this up because I'm interested in others' experiences, if you feel able to share.

[Arabesque 6,446]

5 hours ago, Spinoza said:

Thank you guys - all really helpful! Really interesting to hear that you lost so much whilst not really planning to @Arabesque

As I said I think I kept losing until my body got to its new set point - thank you surgery. for me my new set point was at a lower weight than I’d expected (my goal was the lowest weight I would always bounce up from). Your set point will strongly influence your final weight. You can eat yourself above it but it takes a lot of effort to eat & exercise yourself below it.

People often talk about getting too thin & looking gaunt but, apart from a couple of months while everything settled, I don’t look like a lost too much nor am I bony, I just look small. But then I am short & have a smaller frame & believe me I still have body fat. I’m talking to you thighs, hips & tummy! 😉

Edited September 29, 2022 by Arabesque

[Spinoza 1,132]

I was asked twice in the last week whether I had lost weight on purpose - assume it's because my face is so much thinner. Gonna keep chugging on for a while yet - might be good insurance in case of a regain further down the line.

[ms.sss 14,636]

I also had a completely arbitrary goal of 120 lbs (it was the midpoint of healthy BMI range for my height).

I called goal at 127 lbs instead because i felt I was looking too skeletor-ish.

Like @Arabesque, i started to increase calories to stop weight loss, and was able to do so about 3-4 months later, but not until I lost a few more pounds and settled into 115.

I was 118 even this morning, and i don’t look nearly as skeletal as i did when i was calling a 127 goal (i’m 4 years post op, btw). I basically eat whatever i want (luckily i don’t nor want too eat much anyway) and i dont feel food-deprived in any way nor exercise beyond what my lazy ass is willing to do (lol). But i am way more active than I used to be pre-wls. In a nutshell i can stay at my current weight with little to no effort given my current lifestyle.

soooooo this is my long winded way of saying that weight goals are moving targets and that what u want/are satisfied with now may not be what you want/are satisfied with later. If you are satisfied with the efforts you are putting in (or not putting in) to sustain a weight, then, i say Goal Acheived.

[Spinoza 1,132]

3 hours ago, ms.sss said:

In a nutshell i can stay at my current weight with little to no effort given my current lifestyle.

That's the Holy Grail of bariatric surgery. Well done you / lucky you. Proves it does happen for some of us!!!

[Spinoza 1,132]

@Arabesque please may I ask you another question? If you went back to eating 800 calories a day for a few weeks and lost those 2 kilos (not that you want to or need to!) is it your instinct that they would just bounce back on?

[MistySkye 181]

I thought my body had settled at a weight …then I proceeded to lose another 5lbs this summer. I’m 16 months p.o. At the upper end of a healthy BMI. At the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult.

With my surgeon, I had actually said I’d be happy to get to 180. As of last Monday, I was 163.6.

I’m not doing anything special. To me I’m at maintenance. I have my calorie goal around 1400. But really I just focus on the Protein number. I don’t restrict what I eat, but do try and make better choices.

I am getting a Tummy Tuck in a few weeks. Excited for that.

[Arabesque 6,446]

9 hours ago, Spinoza said:

@Arabesque please may I ask you another question? If you went back to eating 800 calories a day for a few weeks and lost those 2 kilos (not that you want to or need to!) is it your instinct that they would just bounce back on?

I think they would. I have to keep my Protein high because of the protein absorption issue - hence the dietary change to counter the increase in calories from the increased protein. I hate Protein Shakes & I can taste even the flavourless protein powders making going back to a low calorie diet using shakes challenging. Plus the med is hormonal & my weight gain was always strongly linked to my hormones.

I actually did reduce my calories initially to try to lose the kgs but it didn’t do anything. Sounds like what happened most of my life - ha!

When I see my GP in a couple of weeks, I’m going to see if I can go back to a lower dose HRT & see if that helps. I’m actually experiencing more hot flushes & acne - boo - on the higher dose.

Of course the gain could just have been my body settling again. It is only 2kg & I’ve been stable at this weight for 9 months.

Edited October 2, 2022 by Arabesque

[New_me_2022 29]

This is a question I find myself asking more and more about also. I was sleeved this past December, so right at 9.5 months post op. I hit goal a month ago and similarly to others I'm still losing weight. It's slowed down significantly at this point but I'm on a mission to simply lose as much as possible. I'm now -17 lbs past goal.. Call it a personal mission (or mission to get my moneys worth since I paid out of pocket for my surgery lol) but I am now entering the skeletor point where I feel like I'm done. I still watch what I eat pretty closely, weight my meals, and don't eat starches or bread but I do feel I have the ability to adjust my intake and most importantly amount of activity to help burn calories and keep weight off.

[Spinoza 1,132]

19 hours ago, Arabesque said:

I think they would.

Really helpful, thank you so much!