Telling others

[KimA-GA 540]

18 minutes ago, SleeveCaroline said:

On another note, throughout this process (specifically endoscopy) I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and my friends know about that diagnosis…..

My plan is to say that I am working with a dietician and really watching my food intake...which is true. I feel I have no need to expand after that.

Side note: it took me almost 10 years to get the Celiac diagnosis. Whenever I tried to explain my symptoms, my doctor would always say I have IBS and gastric issues because I am fat. I switched to a new doctor and I couldn't believe my ears when she said that my gastric issues were making me fat! I finally feel like I am on the right path!

It’s amazing the difference that a good doctor makes! So many dismiss people because they are fat (I have many stories). Was it the pre surgery endoscopy that dx the celiac or were you being tested for celiac with an endoscopy? (My dr requires a pre surgery endoscopy)

[SleeveCaroline 23]

It was the Pre Op protocol endocscopy. I was due for a colonoscopy as well so did both at the same time.

[Tami10 50]

I believe it's your right to tell or not. I'm super open about it. I tell everyone I'm proud of my decision and the progress I've made. And I don't think there is anything to be embarrassed about so why hide. I've had only good feed back. My mom was worried about me but still super supportive. I don't get why we should be embarrassed. This was brave decision in my opinion if there was anyone who had bad or negative thoughts they didn't say it to me.

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[Dogmom68 135]

Only my husband and my sister knew prior to my surgery and even then my sister kept asking me “are you sure you want to do this?” I knew I definitely wanted and needed to have my surgery for a number of health reasons. I decided not to tell anyone else since I just didn’t feel like having to defend my decision! I didn’t feel like people would be negative about it; just concerned for my safety. My husband has continued to be my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I’m so glad he has been so positive with his attitude about my decision. However, I would have done it regardless of anyone’s support since I felt it was necessary for my health! … and I’m so glad I did it!😁

[ms.sss 14,634]

13 hours ago, Tami10 said:

I believe it's your right to tell or not. I'm super open about it. I tell everyone I'm proud of my decision and the progress I've made. And I don't think there is anything to be embarrassed about so why hide. I've had only good feed back. My mom was worried about me but still super supportive. I don't get why we should be embarrassed. This was brave decision in my opinion if there was anyone who had bad or negative thoughts they didn't say it to me.

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Im not sure the ones who don’t broadcast are necessarily “embarrassed” (though some may be, as i cant presume to speak for all).

Embarrassment implies shame, which is not the same as being private.

Tell/don’t tell. To each their own. ❤️

[Brennanfan 32]

On 7/19/2022 at 2:25 PM, SleeveCaroline said:

My surgery is this Friday and I have only my husband and close family that know about it. At the moment I have no desire to tell anyone. Most of my close friends have seen my weight fluctuate drastically. On another note, throughout this process (specifically endoscopy) I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and my friends know about that diagnosis. My plan is to say that I am working with a dietician and really watching my food intake...which is true. I feel I have no need to expand after that.

I did tell my family not to tell anyone. Once I have the surgery, I may feel more relaxed and tell people but right now it is a definite NO. I told them that I am telling them for their support and not to have secrets. However, this is only my story to tell when and if I choose to reveal it.

Side note: it took me almost 10 years to get the Celiac diagnosis. Whenever I tried to explain my symptoms, my doctor would always say I have IBS and gastric issues because I am fat. I switched to a new doctor and I couldn't believe my ears when she said that my gastric issues were making me fat! I finally feel like I am on the right path!

My surgery is next Tuesday and I have only told 3 people at work my family and best friend that's it...don't want to hear all the negatives...I've lost 40 prior to surgery so far but still have more to go

[SkinnyMingo1408 356]

I was pretty open once the decision was made. I didn't carry a banner or anything but my close Co- workers knew, my boss knew and my family knew. Even now, if someone asks I tell. It's done, it's part of my story and if someone doesn't like it then they don't need to be apart of my story. I've always been a pretty open book to those around me.

I haven't had any negative feedback yet. My mom got this surgery 15+ years ago so it wasn't new to my family. I've lost over 50lbs since the last time my coworkers saw me, probably closer to 60lbs by the time we return to work (yay summer break) and I'm cautiously optimistic about their reactions when they see me. I don't SEE the weightloss as much as I FEEL the weightloss if that makes sense? I'm hoping they can see it😁 .

[Tami10 50]

Im not sure the ones who don’t broadcast are necessarily “embarrassed” (though some may be, as i cant presume to speak for all).
Embarrassment implies shame, which is not the same as being private.
Tell/don’t tell. To each their own. [emoji3590]

You're right not everyone is embarrassed my point was that no one person on this journey should fell bad, embarrassed or worried about other people. And feel good about yourself and your decision. I've talked to a few people who had thought about it but were worried about their family and friends reaction including my best friend.

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[Goldengirl321 52]

I never told anyone at work what surgery I had just that I was having a “procedure” I’m a private person and I didn’t think it was anyones business.

[ClareLynn 153]

I started off with the plan to not tell anyone but I had so many complications, follow up procedures and another surgery that people were REALLY worried. It was too much to ask my husband and mother to lie or evade so I just let them tell family but that I wasn’t interested in discussing my health.

Work just has to keep wondering, I already face discrimination at work and knew from experience that sharing isn’t a good idea.

[hulabear01 2]

I told people and it seems like they are all happy. I have not met anyone that has anything bad to say. I work in the Emergency Room and have told several doctors and they are awesome. If it was bad they would tell me. They are my support system. Along with my family. They help me at work also. Choose better Snacks. I haven’t had my surgery yet

[Darkangel505 4]

I am pre-op and I will tell those I trust most (which is only a few people) and no one else. I have absolutely no desire to hear the judgmental people in my family, or acquaintances, belittle my choices or question every bit and tell me why I was wrong. I will tell those that I had some stomach/gall bladder/hernia surgery which with a dietitians help, am losing weight. I'm just personal with certain things and I like to keep certain things to myself.

[Tomo 1,135]

I don't tell anyone anything, in general. I am a very private person.

[Slwhurst 86]

I told people after my insurance approval. I did all my appointments with missing as little work as possible. I was terrified that my insurance would reject me for a number of reasons so I didn’t want to make a big deal about it in case it didn’t happen. As soon as it the approval came in and the surgery was scheduled I let the happy dance begin. There will be a spectrum of reactions. Mine ranged from support to not understanding to down right disgust that I would even consider surgery for this. You just have to keep your head up and remember you are doing this for you, your health and your family… not them… who cares what they think? They sure don’t ask for your opinion when they make a life changing decision. Besides, they don’t pay your bills so they are irrelevant in this. You got this!

[ThinIce 33]

I chose to only discuss with my husband and healthcare providers. I'm so happy with my decision to have the procedure and have no shame, regret or embarrassment. However, I know from a wealth of experience that outside of my husband, the remainder of my family is the opposite of me - extroverted, telling everyone their own business plus everyone else's - including mine. My wanting control of the situation is what it really boiled down to. It would have became everyone's business (picture multiple church phone trees activated simultaneously) if I had let a peep of it out.

Also, a pet peeve of mine that my extended family makes a habit of is using "you've lost weight" as their go to complement or conversation starter whether it's true or not. I've been working over the years to help them see these comments can be hurtful and we're making progress finally. If they knew I had the procedure I suspect it would return to free range season on comments about mine and everybody's else's body - not OK.

On an aside, I also did not tell my children. My husband did not agree with this out of the rare chance that the "worst" might happen (spoiler alert - it didn't). Ultimately, I didn't want to put the pressure of not discussing it outside of our nuclear family on them or the worry during the procedure. They are old enough to be left alone for a few hours and we do not have babysitting options, I couldn't bear the thought of them alone at home worrying. So, I had a "business trip" earlier this month. They have asked questions about why I'm eating so little and I just tell them I'm trying to get healthier so my portions are smaller.