My wife and gastric bypass struggles

[thinblueline 63]

Seventeen years ago my wife had GBS and for a while she was doing awesome she was losing the weight following her program eating only what was allowed and exercising this went on for at least 2-3 years then it all hit her between the eyes she was sick all the time throwing up and dumping pretty much everything she was eating she couldn't even drink the Protein Shakes the food was going right through her, our marriage was on the brink because we could not do anything as a couple because she had to stay close to the bathroom just in case, so one day i said you need to see a doctor and her being so sick this went on for about 6 months so we made the appt and the doctor said it was normal and to get some rest and just go back to eating like you did when you got out of the hospital , so she did and it got a little better and a little better than one night she looked at me and said " i didn't get sick today Hun" i didn't even realize it until she mentioned it so we agreed that maybe we should just stay with the shakes for a little while longer (3 or 4 more days) and try to eat something like ground up chicken she tried that and it stayed down basically a real long story but she started feeling much better and started eating better and the dr didn't know what it was but he said what all drs say when they don't have an answer " i don t know Mrs. Cooper" anyway all i cared about at that point in my life is my wife getting better nothing else to this day she still has bouts of dumping and getting sick nothing like those yrs ago , not even close , when she does get sick i think back to all those years ago i go right back there and lose focus on what's important and that's her and not me and how i feel it's about how she feels i can only imagine she must think not again, well i am going to end here cause i could go on but i would rather not rehash those horrible days seventeen yrs ago.

[The Greater Fool 1,945]

I'm glad she is doing better now, and I hope it continues. I'm sure your ongoing support and encouragement has been important to her getting through all this.

When she gets sick now, what is it she is eating? What does "sick" mean?

What are the foods she's comfortable eating?

Is she tracking her food in any way? Where is her weight?

This stuff will help folks understand and offer ideas, if necessary. She's apparently doing well now, and she may not want to mess with success.

Good luck,

Tek

[thinblueline 63]

1 minute ago, The Greater Fool said:

I'm glad she is doing better now, and I hope it continues. I'm sure your ongoing support and encouragement has been important to her getting through all this.

When she gets sick now, what is it she is eating? What does "sick" mean?

What are the foods she's comfortable eating?

Is she tracking her food in any way? Where is her weight?

This stuff will help folks understand and offer ideas, if necessary. She's apparently doing well now, and she may not want to mess with success.

Good luck,

Tek

When i say the word "sick" i mean when she throws up , she cant eat Pasta and red meat otherwise it is up to her , she doesnt track her food anymore but she mentions every once in a while " i should track this" and her weight is 198 but she doesnt look like she weighs this hides it well ( by the weigfh she gives great hugs not sure where the hugs came up LOL) she is huge in NOT trying new food(s) ....

Coop

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 654]

I'm so sorry your wife has and continues to experience such difficulty. Its clear by the way you talk about her that you love her deeply and are hurting for her. I'm sure you both have concerns about YOUR health and experience as you move towards having surgery yourself. Just a few thoughts: 1) she should absolutely find another doctor and get a second opinion. Constant dumping, vomiting, or other sickness is NOT normal and resorting to living off Protein Shakes is NOT a solution. She deserves to be happy & healthy and any dr that isn't willing to dig in and figure this out, isn't worth her time and money. And 2) bariatric surgery has been refined quite a bit over the last few decades. Although complications are not completely impossible, they are overwhelmingly rare. So if you've decided that WLS is the right option for you, you can both rest assured that its unlikely your experience will be the same as hers. Wishing you both health & happiness!

[XtinaDoesIt 196]

Thanks for sharing this! It must have been awful to start experiencing these symptoms a year or so out of surgery. Whenever Im having a rough day, it helps me to think it only get better from here so I know that must have been mentally hard to handle.

One of the things I hadn't thought too much about before my surgery is how it would affect my relationship. It definitely has. So thanks for sharing that. My fiance and I do a lot of things over food and so it hard when Im not eating as much. I think for him, it was hardest having to now make decisions about meals himself. He always asks what I want to eat when we order food for example and I really dont have a preference because I'm probably not going to eat anything. But on the bright side, he has learned to make his own meals to save the money and Im a much cheaper date! LOL.

My friend who has been having a much rougher recovery than I have, has also been struggling in her relationship. Her S.O was very supportive in the beginning but she has been sick in one way or the other for a year now. She has had to have revision surgery and is constantly in the ER. Her S.O is just over it. Im glad you guys were able to make it through and now she can support you on your journey!

[thinblueline 63]

2 minutes ago, XtinaDoesIt said:

Thanks for sharing this! It must have been awful to start experiencing these symptoms a year or so out of surgery. Whenever Im having a rough day, it helps me to think it only get better from here so I know that must have been mentally hard to handle.

One of the things I hadn't thought too much about before my surgery is how it would affect my relationship. It definitely has. So thanks for sharing that. My fiance and I do a lot of things over food and so it hard when Im not eating as much. I think for him, it was hardest having to now make decisions about meals himself. He always asks what I want to eat when we order food for example and I really dont have a preference because I'm probably not going to eat anything. But on the bright side, he has learned to make his own meals to save the money and Im a much cheaper date! LOL.

My friend who has been having a much rougher recovery than I have, has also been struggling in her relationship. Her S.O was very supportive in the beginning but she has been sick in one way or the other for a year now. She has had to have revision surgery and is constantly in the ER. Her S.O is just over it. Im glad you guys were able to make it through and now she can support you on your journey!

Xtinadoes i honestly don't want to wait the six months i want to start my life now , my weight right now is 290lnbs i want to get it over with but it'll come i guess but it does stink Lisa is not a cheap date so stop calling yourself one silly am looking at back surgery to down the road so i am a hot mess right now.

[ShoppGirl 3,353]

I agree with sleevemealone. If she continues to have trouble she absolutely should consider another doctor. It sounds like she may be doing a little better now though. I don’t know if anyone told you guys this but typically people dump on certain things. Too much sugar or fat typically and by keeping a food log and notating when she dumps she may be able to figure out what her trigger foods are. Then it’s just a matter of avoiding those foods or sometimes only eating small quantities of the food to avoid dumping. I had the sleeve and I have not yet dumped so others who have may have more advice on this.