Moms that do it all

[Pricilla 92]

Hi all!

I will hopefully be having my sleeve early November.

This questions is for the moms (or very involved dads).

After surgery, how do manage through the tiredness/irritability/nausea?

If you are the one that runs the house, makes all the decisions, plays with the kids, cares for the kids, play dates, clean up, does ALL the things, how are you getting through that first month (or longer) post op?

Where are you getting your energy since we can’t have caffeine (R.I.P. coffee, Diet Coke, chocolate)?

HELP!

[mtlmiracle 4]

I haven't done the surgery yet but I'm a busy mom who has dieted a lot. In 2018 I did a lot of fasting and I mean like rolling 42-hour fasts. I was not hungry during a fast but I was so lethargic I struggled to keep the house. I did that for about a year and learned some coping skills:

-Give yourself a lot of slack and compassion, take deep breaths, stay grounded.

-treat it like exercise, push yourself while you are working but take frequent rests.

-use electrolyte drinks more often especially if it's hot outside.

-putting a small piece of salt in your mouth can boost your energy and halt hunger.

-have as much of a routine as possible and keep it simple to avoid stress.

Overall it is super hard having to deal with the stress of other people while your own body already feels so upset! I always put my kids first and it was to my whole family's detriment. Now I have to put the focus back on myself again and lose the weight once more.

[Pricilla 92]

25 minutes ago, mtlmiracle said:

I haven't done the surgery yet but I'm a busy mom who has dieted a lot. In 2018 I did a lot of fasting and I mean like rolling 42-hour fasts. I was not hungry during a fast but I was so lethargic I struggled to keep the house. I did that for about a year and learned some coping skills:

-Give yourself a lot of slack and compassion, take deep breaths, stay grounded.

-treat it like exercise, push yourself while you are working but take frequent rests.

-use electrolyte drinks more often especially if it's hot outside.

-putting a small piece of salt in your mouth can boost your energy and halt hunger.

-have as much of a routine as possible and keep it simple to avoid stress.

Overall it is super hard having to deal with the stress of other people while your own body already feels so upset! I always put my kids first and it was to my whole family's detriment. Now I have to put the focus back on myself again and lose the weight once more.

Ooooof! This is gonna be tough!

I hope I don’t turn into Mommy Dearest, eeek! J/k I would never.

“Mommy will you play with me?” Is my kryptonite. It’s going to be heartbreaking to say “sorry I’m too tired”.

[learn2cook 490]

I was a nanny, then preschool teacher, mom, and now elementary teacher who restricted calories or fasted and I agree with the above posted. Look at history too, Victorian, Edwardian, WWII moms did not play with their kids. They sent the kids to play in the backyard and called them in for meals and a nap. They sat at the table and had family conversations. The children had excellent communication and self soothing skills. The exception was rainy days when moms couldn’t wash laundry or the floors anyway and the kids were inside so they played games or sang or read together, not too labor intensive. You might want to have an exclusive “chamber pot” for yourself :)

As for cleaning, who’s inspecting your house anyway? Divvy up the chores to the kids, use paper plates, have the kids wipe down the shower/bath after use, have the kids sort socks and fold and put away their own clothes because it’s good for them to help around the house! All the while you keep drinking your Water and electrolytes and Protein Drinks. You’ve got this covered, you’re the boss!

[ms.sss 14,645]

I do alot (but so does Mr. and the Kids), so I can't claim to do it all, LOL.

But, I can speak about the energy levels: for the first 2-3 weeks I had very little energy and slept ALOT. Still managed to do what I needed to do during awake hours - including going back to work in week 3 - (just much slower and not as well as I would have liked). It did help that I had a desk job, and the fam did not expect me to do more than I could...that and the youngest in the house is a self-sufficient teenager so...

Though sometime after the first month, out of nowhere I got some crazy energizer bunny power (despite the fact that I was one of those that subsisted on very, very, low calories) and its been like that ever since. I'm not sure if it was because the lost weight made it easier, or that all the large amounts of crap that I used to eat no longer slugged my system.

Whatever the case, from what I have read on here, the lack of energy is temporary (barring any medical issues), and for alot, energy levels increase exponentially as you get further out.

Good Luck! ❤️

[mtlmiracle 4]

8 hours ago, Pricilla said:

Ooooof! This is gonna be tough!

I hope I don’t turn into Mommy Dearest, eeek! J/k I would never.

“Mommy will you play with me?” Is my kryptonite. It’s going to be heartbreaking to say “sorry I’m too tired”.

It will always be kryptonite for me too!

[The Greater Fool 1,947]

Sit everyone down and have one of those warm, come together, group hug, family meetings.

Explain that Mommy will be out of commission for a couple weeks, so everyone needs to come together in one of those typical warm and fuzzy family moments and agree to pitch in to help out.

The best way for you to handle the fatigue and irritability are easy: Close the door, lock it, bolt it, put furniture in front of it, set traps, then go too sleep and watch the TV programs you want to watch for a change. If anyone dares knock on the door, you can either snarl and throw out a small animal carcass as warning, or just shout choice profanity. You know your family, use what will work best.

Everyone will need to run their part of the house. This may cause the house to spin in circles, but at least it will be getting run. It is unlikely this will cause any lasting harm, but if it does repair costs can be taken out of allowances.

The decision making will be easy: "Yes."

They'll need to arrange their own play dates, hopefully in the typical PG or PG-13 way they are now.

Cleaning up... well... really, how bad can it get in a couple weeks? Besides, dirt and germs only help everyone's immunity to work better and harder. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

Oh, so your surgeon says no caffeine? Bast****. Well, if you've taken my advice, you've locked yourself in your bedroom and will be sleeping snarling at anyone that dares interrupt your solitude . Who needs energy for that? Bask in your new found sloth.

.

You didn't really give us a scorecard on what your family looks like. But I'll bet they'll answer your call for support as best as they can. Your husband will step up. All those adults you are arranging play dates with will step up and do what needs to be done. Or, in typical fashion, they won't. They're your associates, you know how they'll handle things. When your kids ask you to play, you will be kind and not the least bit irritable.

Even if your worst fears occur and nothing get's done your home will still survive and everything will be there when you are able to resume everything you do.

Regardless what happens, take some time to deal with your needs for a few weeks.

Good luck,

Tek

Edited October 17, 2021 by The Greater Fool

[Jaye W 218]

Maybe you will be one of the lucky people like I was and actually feel energized and have little to no nausea or fatigue after surgery. I don’t have little ones anymore, but had a very easy recovery. Good luck, think positive!

[ShoppGirl 3,353]

I second what jayew said. I do not have children (just super spoiled nieces and nephews) but I have a very easy recovery. I was tired and took lots of naps. After day two that was the only reason I even felt like I had surgery was that I napped a lot. There are lots of people who would probably say the same on here we just don’t feel the need to post about it because we don’t need any help. The people who have a tough time of it are the ones who of course need some help so you hear more from them. Fingers crossed you will have an easy recovery too.