Feeling frustrated, and regretful

[Kimchibar 5]

Hello all

I am currently 6 weeks post-op (Surgery date 07/24/2021) and I have been losing SLOWLY after my three-week plateau. I am losing 1 pound A WEEK. Mind you, I have PCOS. So yeah, I get I will be a "slow loser" and such. But aren't I too early in the game for me to lose at such a damn SLOW PACE? I am eating up to 90 g of Protein, I stay under 20 net carbs, I eat healthy (hell, I haven't tried anything other than what's on my doctor's list), and yet... my damn scale is frozen in numbers.

I am feeling regretful at this point. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am a "lower weight than most." (I am stuck at 167.2) Many are this weight currently and are losing steadily throughout the week. This has got to be the dumbest decision I have ever made in my life at this point.

Money down the drain. My mental health is at rock bottom, and my emotional health is on a roller coaster.

I envy those who lose every week and out there living their best life while they continue to eat junk.. while I am stuck here, following EVERYTHING TO THE "T" and stuck.

Sorry for the vent. But I am over this.

I don't know what to think at this point.

Edited September 4, 2021 by Kimchibar

[Hop_Scotch 1,625]

You had a low start weight and not far away from the healthy weight range for your height. You've been losing 1lb a week, you've been going great. I think you may want to reconsider your expectations.

You say you are stuck at 167lb? How long for? Stalls are par the course even with weight loss surgery. Patience is needed for stalls, and as long as you are following your post op guidelines the scale weight will catch up.

At only six weeks post op you are progressing through the food stages and are probably starting to move a lot more, possibly even exercising. Your body is adapting to change, give it time.

[NovaLuna 709]

I know you said that you don't want to hear it, but it has everything to do with the fact that you started at a lower weight than most. People have high expectations, unrealistic expectations, when they have their surgery. I'm one of those people who was guilty of those unrealistic expectations. Stalls happen. And yes, they can happen early. The fact is, that you ARE still losing. Is it frustrating that it's not as fast as you want? Yes. Does it make you want to scream or throw your scale? Again, yes. All you can do is tell yourself that you are doing everything you are supposed to and maybe just avoid the scale for two or three weeks. I've had more stalls along my journey than anyone I've ever seen on this site. My longest one lasted 40-something days (I literally forgot the exact number, but it was in the 40-something range and was May-June 2021) and I thought 'This is it. This is as far as I'm going to go' and I was beyond frustrated because at that point I was stuck at 186, which was only 6 pounds from my goal weight. Then, my weight loss suddenly kicked back in and in the following two months I lost 8 pounds (which is amazing considering I was lucky to lose even 2 pounds in a month at this point as 1 had been the norm for a few months). I'm currently dealing with a 20 day stall, but I don't care as much because 1. I've already met my personal goal so all the extra weight loss is just a bonus, and 2. I'm in physical therapy for my arthritis so inflammation is a THING! People telling you not to be frustrated, honestly isn't going to help. It isn't going to make it go away. But, it's normal. Also, everyone loses weight at a different pace. Sometimes slow and steady is the better way to do it (honestly, I think your skin may bounce back better that way as well. So maybe just try to look for some positives, even if it may seem impossible to find them with how frustrated you undoubtedly are).

[Tomo 1,135]

I remember my second month with VSG, and I had lost only 4 lbs. I remember feeling disheartened as well but the weight loss continued steadily every month. Unfortunately, a person's body mass is the main determinant of one's metabolic rate. The heavier you are, the higher your metabolism, more calories you will burn. Although lower carbs and Protein are important, the fact is If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose weight. People on Keto, for example, won't lose weight if they are eating too many calories. I would talk to your team and surgeon about your concerns as well. Perhaps they need to rule out other reasons, like Water weight gain (I'm familiar with that one hehe). The weight will come off. It just may not be as quick as someone who is 600 lbs. Hang in there. Things will improve.

[Stalled 32]

Exercise is key. If you aren't exercising, you need to start. You need to be burning the same or more than the number of calories you are consuming. Are you counting your calories or have an idea of how many calories you consume in a day?

[Kimchibar 5]

1 hour ago, Stalled said:

Exercise is key. If you aren't exercising, you need to start. You need to be burning the same or more than the number of calories you are consuming. Are you counting your calories or have an idea of how many calories you consume in a day?

Edited September 5, 2021 by Kimchibar

[Kimchibar 5]

4 hours ago, NovaLuna said:

I know you said that you don't want to hear it, but it has everything to do with the fact that you started at a lower weight than most. People have high expectations, unrealistic expectations, when they have their surgery. I'm one of those people who was guilty of those unrealistic expectations. Stalls happen. And yes, they can happen early. The fact is, that you ARE still losing. Is it frustrating that it's not as fast as you want? Yes. Does it make you want to scream or throw your scale? Again, yes. All you can do is tell yourself that you are doing everything you are supposed to and maybe just avoid the scale for two or three weeks. I've had more stalls along my journey than anyone I've ever seen on this site. My longest one lasted 40-something days (I literally forgot the exact number, but it was in the 40-something range and was May-June 2021) and I thought 'This is it. This is as far as I'm going to go' and I was beyond frustrated because at that point I was stuck at 186, which was only 6 pounds from my goal weight. Then, my weight loss suddenly kicked back in and in the following two months I lost 8 pounds (which is amazing considering I was lucky to lose even 2 pounds in a month at this point as 1 had been the norm for a few months). I'm currently dealing with a 20 day stall, but I don't care as much because 1. I've already met my personal goal so all the extra weight loss is just a bonus, and 2. I'm in physical therapy for my arthritis so inflammation is a THING! People telling you not to be frustrated, honestly isn't going to help. It isn't going to make it go away. But, it's normal. Also, everyone loses weight at a different pace. Sometimes slow and steady is the better way to do it (honestly, I think your skin may bounce back better that way as well. So maybe just try to look for some positives, even if it may seem impossible to find them with how frustrated you undoubtedly are).

Thank you for your reply. I completely understand what you’re saying.
I am fully aware that the first 3 months is the hardest in terms of emotions and it’s a mental game.
I’ve just been so frustrated since my body has always been against me my whole life. I’m just hopeless at this point.

[Kimchibar 5]

2 minutes ago, Kimchibar said:

2 minutes ago, Kimchibar said:

1 hour ago, Stalled said:

Exercise is key. If you aren't exercising, you need to start. You need to be burning the same or more than the number of calories you are consuming. Are you counting your calories or have an idea of how many calories you consume in a day?

My surgeon told me not to exercise at least for 3 months since the first “3 months” is the biggest loss. My surgeon also recommended me not to burn more active calories than what I eat since I could potentially starve my body. I only eat 600-650 calories a day. I don’t think it’s wise for me to exercise this early on.

[Stalled 32]

47 minutes ago, Kimchibar said:

My surgeon told me not to exercise at least for 3 months since the first “3 months” is the biggest loss. My surgeon also recommended me not to burn more active calories than what I eat since I could potentially starve my body. I only eat 600-650 calories a day. I don’t think it’s wise for me to exercise this early on.

You're completely right about both your points. I should clarify, what I mean by "exercise" is more accurately "activity". This early on you shouldn't be afraid to walk a lot or do similar low-stress activities like swimming (if you're cleared for it). Whatever your body feels like it can do, but not anything intense until further on in your recovery. And the part about not starving your body is VERY important too. Unfortunately, everyone's body and metabolism are different so it is difficult to determine what is right (calories amount vs exercise burning) for each person without some experimentation. I think you're at the right caloric level, you might even want to try to eat more to get more calories because your body might be in "starvation" mode right now and that could be one reason why you aren't losing as much as you would like or expect.

[Kimchibar 5]

4 hours ago, Stalled said:

You're completely right about both your points. I should clarify, what I mean by "exercise" is more accurately "activity". This early on you shouldn't be afraid to walk a lot or do similar low-stress activities like swimming (if you're cleared for it). Whatever your body feels like it can do, but not anything intense until further on in your recovery. And the part about not starving your body is VERY important too. Unfortunately, everyone's body and metabolism are different so it is difficult to determine what is right (calories amount vs exercise burning) for each person without some experimentation. I think you're at the right caloric level, you might even want to try to eat more to get more calories because your body might be in "starvation" mode right now and that could be one reason why you aren't losing as much as you would like or expect.

thank you for your insightful response. I walk nearly 3-4 miles a day at a steady pace. Nothing too intense. I guess I will just be a slow loser. I will eventually accept for what it is.

[catwoman7 10,843]

I agree with some of the others - you're starting at a very low weight for a WLS patient, so you can't expect to lose as fast as someone who starts out at over 300 lbs. As long as you're following your clinic's plan and your weight is trending down, you're good.

btw - even for those of us who start out at over 300 lbs, by the time we get down to where you started (under 200), WE start losing about a lb a week as well. That's totally normal. I dipped under 200 for the first time when I was a little over a year out - and yep, my weight loss slowed down to a crawl. BUT....it kept coming off...

P.S. You mentioned people who "eat junk" are doing much better than you. Check back with them in a couple of years and see where they're at...

Edited September 5, 2021 by catwoman7

[Kimchibar 5]

18 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I agree with some of the others - you're starting at a very low weight for a WLS patient, so you can't expect to lose as fast as someone who starts out at over 300 lbs. As long as you're following your clinic's plan and your weight is trending down, you're good.

btw - even for those of us who start out at over 300 lbs, by the time we get down to where you started (under 200), WE start losing about a lb a week as well. That's totally normal. I dipped under 200 for the first time when I was a little over a year out - and yep, my weight loss slowed down to a crawl. BUT....it kept coming off...

P.S. You mentioned people who "eat junk" are doing much better than you. Check back with them in a couple of years and see where they're at...

Thanks for the reply.
I understand what you mean by bigger people lose weight faster. I know that. Which is why I don’t compare my progress with others who weigh more than me. I follow a few of low BMI groups on fb and many of us start below 200 pounds. Some people just melt off their weight within the first 3-5 months and Losing at a rapid pace while claiming they are scarfing down on pizza bites and nacho cheese.
it just bothers me seeing that and compare my lack of progress.
I know I shouldn’t complain and compare myself with others but it’s just such a mental battle.

[Bluebonnetgirl 63]

Hi Everyone!

Hope all has been well with you. Just checking in to see how all if us are doing!

I have been on a stall the last couple of weeks but keeping my head up and chugging along.

Down 42 pounds total including weight lost on pre-op diet.

How are you doing?

[canadianpopcycle 77]

6 hours ago, Kimchibar said:

Thanks for the reply.
I understand what you mean by bigger people lose weight faster. I know that. Which is why I don’t compare my progress with others who weigh more than me. I follow a few of low BMI groups on fb and many of us start below 200 pounds. Some people just melt off their weight within the first 3-5 months and Losing at a rapid pace while claiming they are scarfing down on pizza bites and nacho cheese.
it just bothers me seeing that and compare my lack of progress.
I know I shouldn’t complain and compare myself with others but it’s just such a mental battle.

I hear you...it bothers me too when people talk about what they are eating...and don't seem to have the same results. Try your best to ignore what others are doing...focus on you and your progress. Remember... comparison is the thief of joy. 😘

[catwoman7 10,843]

7 hours ago, Kimchibar said:

Losing at a rapid pace while claiming they are scarfing down on pizza bites and nacho cheese.
it just bothers me seeing that and compare my lack of progress.
I know I shouldn’t complain and compare myself with others but it’s just such a mental battle.

then there are people who end up regaining most if not all of their weight. I wouldn't be at all surprised if that happened to a lot of the people in your FB group who are eating this way.