Really Need Some Help

[Tomo 1,135]

6 hours ago, Thunder7 said:

Hi everyone. I have been following this forum since 2018 when I got sleeved but never had the courage to make an account and post. Well, I got the courage today because I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I will try and keep this as short as possible for brevity but I really need some support and encouragement.

I am a male, early 40's who got VSG in 2018. I lost approximately 125 lbs. I was happy, my life changed. I was motivated, more social and felt like I was on top of the world. I got down to 170-175 and felt great. Then, the pandemic hit. Before it hit, my family left my state and moved. Then my father passed during the pandemic and I ended up moving out of state and trying to start my life over. My remaining family lives about 3 hours from me.

I never really had a problem with alcohol until the pandemic and the loss of my dad. I put on about 40 lbs in a year between drinking and eating horribly. I don't think I stretched my sleeve because I can feel restrictions, but the carbs from beer are what's doing it. I just joined a gym, and I stopped drinking a few days ago. I also have an appointment with a therapist.

People say that it's hardest to lose weight after initial weight gain from VSG. I don't really know anyone in my state or town where I moved, so I need to keep myself accountable. I got the courage to sign up. I also am going to do high Protein low carb and see if I have results. I am about 215 right now and I dread seeing people, I am even avoiding seeing my family because of the weight gain.

I, too, am sorry for what you've been through. I think it's great you have an appointment with a therapist. Here is hoping to her/him helping you out during this difficult time. Cheers to you making an account and reaching out. You'll be ok. Hang in there.

[Thunder7 11]

23 minutes ago, Tomo said:

I, too, am sorry for what you've been through. I think it's great you have an appointment with a therapist. Here is hoping to her/him helping you out during this difficult time. Cheers to you making an account and reaching out. You'll be ok. Hang in there.

Thank you so much for the kinds words.

[HeatherE 199]

Take it one day at a time. Do it for yourself, not others. Find something t replace drinking. You can even print the responses you received on this post and use it as a reminder and inspiration. Whenever you woulda e a dip of beer, read a post instead!

[Thunder7 11]

10 minutes ago, HeatherE said:

Take it one day at a time. Do it for yourself, not others. Find something t replace drinking. You can even print the responses you received on this post and use it as a reminder and inspiration. Whenever you woulda e a dip of beer, read a post instead!

Thank you. I am truly emotional by all the support ya'll are providing.

[ColieCallwell 128]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think we ever are prepared to lose a parent, and nobody really talks about how hard it is. I lost my mom in 2019 and was devastated. It sounds like you are re-focusing and looking for healthy outlets.

After my mom died, I joined a crossfit gym, and honestly, it helped so much with my anxiety. I am terrible at it, but I love it. For an hour every morning, the only thing I can do is focus on getting through the workout. It's nice to have an hour every day where your brain is so occupied with something that you can't think about anything else. And then when it's over, you feel a sense of accomplishment. Also, the people at my gym are really friendly and encouraging, so I've made a few friends, too. You might have some luck making friends at your gym.

I move a lot with my job, it's so hard to make new friends as an adult. Running clubs are another good way to meet like-minded people. In the last place I lived, I joined a martial arts gym, and made some really good friends there.

(I join a lot of gyms, but I'm still fat, lol. I'm getting the sleeve later this month...you can't outrun a bad diet!). Just thought I'd offer some suggestions for meeting people.

Life can be really hard to navigate. You've got this! This quote helped me put things in perspective after my mom died:

"Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living - heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life, and it’s breathtakingly beautiful!"

Take care and keep us posted how you're doing. You can do it!

Sent from my SM-N976V using BariatricPal mobile app

[Thunder7 11]

3 hours ago, ColieCallwell said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think we ever are prepared to lose a parent, and nobody really talks about how hard it is. I lost my mom in 2019 and was devastated. It sounds like you are re-focusing and looking for healthy outlets.

After my mom died, I joined a crossfit gym, and honestly, it helped so much with my anxiety. I am terrible at it, but I love it. For an hour every morning, the only thing I can do is focus on getting through the workout. It's nice to have an hour every day where your brain is so occupied with something that you can't think about anything else. And then when it's over, you feel a sense of accomplishment. Also, the people at my gym are really friendly and encouraging, so I've made a few friends, too. You might have some luck making friends at your gym.

I move a lot with my job, it's so hard to make new friends as an adult. Running clubs are another good way to meet like-minded people. In the last place I lived, I joined a martial arts gym, and made some really good friends there.

(I join a lot of gyms, but I'm still fat, lol. I'm getting the sleeve later this month...you can't outrun a bad diet!). Just thought I'd offer some suggestions for meeting people.

Life can be really hard to navigate. You've got this! This quote helped me put things in perspective after my mom died:

"Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living - heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life, and it’s breathtakingly beautiful!"

Take care and keep us posted how you're doing. You can do it!

Sent from my SM-N976V using BariatricPal mobile app

I am sorry about your mom. You seem to be very focused on weight loss. Very motivational. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for your experience and insight.

[Thunder7 11]

Ok. I weighed myself this morning. 213.6. Today I am going to do 40 pushups.

Breakfast: Premier Protein shake

Lunch: Spicy Turkey with Scrambled eggs

Dinner: Low Carb Meatloaf with Veggies

[Stella S 612]

3 or 4 years out, loss, a move plus a pandemic is lot for anyone. You did it once and will again! Congrats on joining the community!

[Thunder7 11]

16 minutes ago, Stella S said:

3 or 4 years out, loss, a move plus a pandemic is lot for anyone. You did it once and will again! Congrats on joining the community!

Thank you for the warm welcome and support. I much appreciate it.

[TinDE 83]

You’ve gone through a lot. Don’t be so hard on yourself. (Too bad I don’t listen to my own advice lol). You’ve already started making positive changes. I’m glad you made an account and joined us!!

it’s hard to make friends sometimes. Most people these days meet online I think. I don’t mean dating sites. My husband and I were both young widows and we met on a support group board. We still have friends all over the world from that group. There are a million boards out there. Hobbies, interests, even just general resident of your state kind of boards. Also check out meetup.com in your area.

Keep us posted!

[Thunder7 11]

Since I started this thread, I am down 11 lbs. Trying to stay motivated and keep myself in a good place. I started talk therapy, virtual because of rises in covid cases.

[HeatherE 199]

Great job! I’m proud of you and supporting you!

[ShoppGirl 3,340]

10 hours ago, Thunder7 said:

Since I started this thread, I am down 11 lbs. Trying to stay motivated and keep myself in a good place. I started talk therapy, virtual because of rises in covid cases.

That’s awesome. Good to hear from you. Keep it up and keep us posted.

[Thunder7 11]

Thank you everyone for your support.