How much more are you planning to lose??

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

Ok I know I’m being petty but I’m feeling petty today so here goes. So far I’ve lost 150 lbs and I’ve decided this is how the comments from coworkers/acquaintances goes:

1-50 lbs: nothing

50-100 lbs: have you lost weight? Keep it up!

100-125 lbs: wow you are looking great what’s your secret?

125+ lbs: said in a disbelieving voice “how much more weight are you planning to lose? Aren’t you done yet?

I know that this is a problem that is great to have in the sense that a year ago I would have given anything to be this weight so please don’t take it that I’m not happy about losing or that I feel like people shouldn’t comment. But I’m still overweight, and regardless of if I was a normal weight or overweight or heck if I was obese I am getting tired of people making comments like I don’t have the autonomy to determine my own goal weight. And realistically it’s been so long since I was a normal size I honestly have no idea what my true goal would be because I will know it when I get there (hopefully!)

I tend to make a lot of jokes so I’ve just started saying really implausible amounts (I want to lose 200 lbs more and be lighter than air, I want to hit my birth weight of 9 lbs again and get back into my going home from the hospital outfit, etc) but in my head all I can think of is please stop commenting on my body for five minutes thanks.

anyway this is a first world problem I am well aware, and I know I’m just being salty but here I am.

[catwoman7 10,851]

it's annoying, but it eventually ends. Pretty much everyone now has either already seen me at a normal weight or else never knew me when I was obese.

[SarahMan80 83]

I've been thinking about this a lot and I just started my weight loss less than a month ago. I have come to the conclusion that I will answer unwanted weight questions with another question to put the onus back on the person and hopefully make them realize that they are asking an intrusive question.

So, if anyone (who is not closely acquainted to me) asks....'How much more weight you going to lose?' or 'How much have you lost?' I will respond with a very serious 'Why do you ask?' because my weight is no one else's business.... and no one has the right to comment on my body anymore.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

I made a joke to my husband a few weeks ago that I wanted one work day where nobody make a comment about my body or weight. Still waiting on that day! I know it’s short term so I’m happy that this is just the current stage. Still annoying in the moment though.

Part of this is just my circumstance as well- I’ve worked at my current job for almost 15 years, and I’m in a very visible position so like 350 people who work in the same facility as me know me personally. That’s a lot of people to have make the same comment over and over again.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

I think sometimes it makes other people insecure about their own weight when someone near them loses.

Sort of this realization....omg, she's lost weight. Am I the fattest person in the room now? omg...she's nearly my size...and she looks really good....does she look better than me?

I think this is particularly true among younger single people, but it can also be an issue with middle aged farts and beyond.

No feeling worse...than when your friend has been feeling insecure about her weight/wrinkles/hairloss/age related woes/etc.....and her freaking husband notices you've lost weight. Ugh. "Damn, your friend looks good!"

He doesn't mean to be an asshat...but it's a knife in both of your hearts and you just feel rotten about it.

[Arabesque 6,466]

There’s a world of difference between supportive comments & intrusive or critical ones. I’ve never quite understood how some people think it’s ok to comment on your weight & tell you what they think you should weigh or should do. And do you find they tend to do it when there’s an audience? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The reverse was, I also was a little bemused by people who didn’t comment at all. I mean I was almost half the size I had been. But then I realised they were the ones who felt my weight was a personal thing & it wasn’t their place to comment or they saw me for who I was not what I weighed. Consequently I began to respect those people more.

After my weight settled, I noticed those ‘well meaning’ acquaintances who repeatedly told me I was too thin weren’t saying anything at all. I think it just took them time to readjust how they saw me. Hopefully this will happen for you too.

PS - love a bit of sarcastic humour: lighter than air, baby weight. 😂😂😂 That should have made them rethink their desire to comment.

[PolkSDA 115]

My likely response:

"The only weight I'm really looking to lose in the short term is GETTING YOU OFF MY F*CKING BACK!"

To be fair, I have on occasion been accused of being somewhat indelicate and tactless... "He's uncouth. Couth him!!!"

Edited July 3, 2021 by PolkSDA

[ms.sss 14,645]

It is annoying but, It does end eventually. Once everyone is used to your new normal it's just no big deal anymore.

During weight loss phase and the months immediately afterwards, I got into the routine of saying thanks, or "that's a good point, I'll have to think about it" and then quickly pivoting the conversation about them. People generally love to talk about themselves...give them a nudge and they will quickly lose interest in your affairs.

[Jaelzion 1,123]

My standard response when I was still losing was "We'll see". It worked pretty well - inoffensive but it kind of ended that line of discussion, LOL.