Follow up to my restaurant post

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

19 hours ago, lizonaplane said:

Yes, and OP should go to a restaurant where servers are making bank, not Red Robin, if she wants a fine dining experience.

I did not want a fine dining experience. I simply wanted the waitress to be nice.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

19 hours ago, GummyBearQueen said:

Every paying customer deserves a respectful and pleasant experience. Yes, it’s Red Robin, but that doesn’t mean a server should be unprofessional.

TY not be rude to myself and my elderly mom. She was very rude to us.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

13 hours ago, BigSue said:

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience, but there are things you can do as a customer to make things go more smoothly. Yes, it's her job to serve you, but it looks like you might have overwhelmed her by giving her so much information about your situation. She just wanted to take your order, and probably wasn't prepared to hear your whole story about your COVID anxiety, your surgery, your medical restrictions, etc.. It's not really fair to put that responsibility on the server. It's probably standard protocol for them to bring Water to people who don't order a beverage, and assuming you didn't get charged for it (which you typically don't, even if you ask for water), did it hurt anything to have an extra glass of Water sitting on the table? It's good to be assertive about what you need, but you don't need to go out of your way to make additional demands.

Ok so the only reason I told her no water was because that was a suggestion from someone else on here when I told everyone I was apprehensive about eating out for the 1st time. I really didn't think about it, but I guess I just didn't have to take that advice and could have had the water sitting there. No biggie there. I was very nice about it when I asked to have it removed.

My story was very short and all I said was that it was my 1st time out since Covid and that I was on a strict eating plan. It took all of 30 seconds to tell her that.

I certainly didn't go out of my way to make any "demands". I simply told her no oil, butter, or salt, or mayo. Lettuce wrap and add Tomato. My moms order was veggie burger with lettuce wrap and it came in a bun. How is that being demanding?

Our order was messed up twice, and the waitress was very rude to us from the beginning. So tell me again how did I make "additional demands"????

I was told by different people on here that I shouldn't be nervous about letting wait staff know about my dietary needs, and now after this experience, I am more nervous about eating out than I was in the 1st place.

[LaoDaBeirut 158]

The thing is it sounds like you basically made up your own menu. If you have to say no to 4 different things, change something, and add something else...that's a lot. I've also been a waitress before and if someone asked me to remove the free Water I would also probably immediately flag them as a "difficult" table that wasn't going to tip me.

I've eaten at a lot of restaurants since my surgery and haven't had an issue. Red Robin probably isn't the kind of place to go though. It's easiest to go to a health focused kind of restaurant first where all you have to do is find some lean Protein on the menu.

[ShoppGirl 3,341]

I think that how one treats a waitress is just about as controversial as abortion or politics. I have seen spouses argue over this on more than one occasion. I can only speak to My personal experience and as a waitress I would not have found ANYTHING you described as overwhelming or a burden. I would have thought to myself wow this person is telling me they are anxious and if I don’t turn this around I am not gonna get a decent tip.

And I don’t even care if you had asked for a Water and then asked me to take it away as long as you asked me politely. (Granted I would have thought you were crazy but I wouldn’t have cared). And I wouldn’t care how many changes you made to the food because I am not preparing it. The only thing I had to do was enter it into the computer. I would have honestly heard you that you were anxious and had some dietary concerns and thought to myself challenge accepted and figured out how to make you happy.

Now the fact that your order got messed up twice was most likely the kitchen. Assuming she entered it into the computer correctly and that itself can be frustrating to a waitress cause they can do everything right and still get a crappy tip cause the kitchen messed up. I wouldn’t let this experience cause you more anxiety or stop you from eating out though. Most people i have known in customer service WANT you to tell them exactly what you want so they can give it to you because that’s what makes happy people and happy people tip well and make for happy managers.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

2 hours ago, LaoDaBeirut said:

The thing is it sounds like you basically made up your own menu. If you have to say no to 4 different things, change something, and add something else...that's a lot. I've also been a waitress before and if someone asked me to remove the free Water I would also probably immediately flag them as a "difficult" table that wasn't going to tip me.

I've eaten at a lot of restaurants since my surgery and haven't had an issue. Red Robin probably isn't the kind of place to go though. It's easiest to go to a health focused kind of restaurant first where all you have to do is find some lean Protein on the menu.

How did I make up my own menu. Turkey burgers is on the menu and so isn't the choice of getting a lettuce wrap instead of a bun. I asked to add a Tomato and hold the mayo. I asked if the turkey burger was actually grilled and that I didn't want added butter, or oil, etc. It was not a difficult order.

I have worked as waitress at different places before and this is not a difficult thing to do.

If you read my post. My mom even said to the waitress that she knew it wasn't her fault, and probably the fault of the sandwich maker.

This waitress had an attitude from the very beginning. She was very rude to my elderly mother and I.

If you want a decent tip, then act like a nice person. I always tip on the heavy side if the person deserves it. Just because I asked her to remove the Water shouldn't be a red flag for crappy tippers.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

2 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

I think that how one treats a waitress is just about as controversial as abortion or politics. I have seen spouses argue over this on more than one occasion. I can only speak to My personal experience and as a waitress I would not have found ANYTHING you described as overwhelming or a burden. I would have thought to myself wow this person is telling me they are anxious and if I don’t turn this around I am not gonna get a decent tip.

And I don’t even care if you had asked for a Water and then asked me to take it away as long as you asked me politely. (Granted I would have thought you were crazy but I wouldn’t have cared). And I wouldn’t care how many changes you made to the food because I am not preparing it. The only thing I had to do was enter it into the computer. I would have honestly heard you that you were anxious and had some dietary concerns and thought to myself challenge accepted and figured out how to make you happy.

Now the fact that your order got messed up twice was most likely the kitchen. Assuming she entered it into the computer correctly and that itself can be frustrating to a waitress cause they can do everything right and still get a crappy tip cause the kitchen messed up. I wouldn’t let this experience cause you more anxiety or stop you from eating out though. Most people i have known in customer service WANT you to tell them exactly what you want so they can give it to you because that’s what makes happy people and happy people tip well and make for happy managers.

Thank You for your understanding. It was not a difficult order. My mom even told her that she knew it wasn't her fault and probably that of the sandwich maker.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

first @HealthyLifeStyle there is no reason you need to defend yourself, you did nothing wrong. I waitressed for 20+ years and no customer deserves a rude server. It's not so hard to Not bring Water to the table, and it's not hard to get a grilled turkey burger, no bun, no mayo add tomato..... It doesn't matter if you are dining in a 5 star or a dang Denny's (just example).... A server should always be courteous.
Next time simply say with a smile, I'm so sorry you are having a terrible day..... when they say they are not..... shake your head and say... what a pity. They will get the point.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

2 hours ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

first @HealthyLifeStyle there is no reason you need to defend yourself, you did nothing wrong. I waitressed for 20+ years and no customer deserves a rude server. It's not so hard to Not bring Water to the table, and it's not hard to get a grilled turkey burger, no bun, no mayo add tomato..... It doesn't matter if you are dining in a 5 star or a dang Denny's (just example).... A server should always be courteous.
Next time simply say with a smile, I'm so sorry you are having a terrible day..... when they say they are not..... shake your head and say... what a pity. They will get the point.

TY for understanding. I was also a waitress and was never rude to anyone. It just really made me mad when she was being rude to my elderly mom for no reason.

[Jaye W 218]

I am allowed to drink up until I start eating. I drink Water while waiting for my meal. Is your plan no drinking 30 mins before and after?

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

11 hours ago, Jaye W said:

I am allowed to drink up until I start eating. I drink Water while waiting for my meal. Is your plan no drinking 30 mins before and after?

Yes, even though I am 9 months out. I double checked with my nutritionist last week and she told me that this is a rule I should always go by. Also, if I drink up till I eat, I won't have room for food. I still get very full quickly.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

I’m sorry you had this experience. I’ve eaten at Red Robin a few times and I always get the chicken Ensenada (maybe spelled right?). It has sauces on it but you could just ask for all those on the side. That might be a simpler order then, it would just be a chicken breast. I get the sauces on it because I love spice, but it wouldn’t be a problem to leave them off I’m sure. I’m sorry your diet is so restrictive- I have no problem with salt or fat, etc, so I don’t worry about those additions. I always get Water, and just ignore it. Easy breezy.

Best advice is to not worry too much about what you get on your plate you won’t eat- just leave it behind. I’m trying to reform my clean plate ways!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

14 hours ago, Jaye W said:

I am allowed to drink up until I start eating. I drink Water while waiting for my meal. Is your plan no drinking 30 mins before and after?

That has always been the rule i was taught. 30 & 30......

[WanderingHeart 140]

Do you give yourself “cheat meals”? You may want to go to restaurants in those circumstances if possible. Prob a lot less stressful for you.

When we are stressed and anxious, it can impact someone else’s behavior too.

Also, I know I’ve accidentally drank Water when out to eat bc it’s right in front of me but I know the waitress is going to bring it so I usually try to move it away from me as a reminder not to drink. They don’t get it and it’s not worth the headache to explain.

[Lilly89 0]

Wow ok. Yes she was wrong to be so rude but damn you gave her more instructions on how to serve you than a manual book on how to build a house! WTF!! Stay home and make your own food if you have so many restrictions.