Lying about not getting surgery is awful

[SoulGardener 100]

Very much agree.

[Gettin’-My-Skinny-On 5]

I don’t tell everyone I have had surgery. I’m not lying to anyone. I’m just not telling them. It’s no one’s business but mine. I have told people that I know who have had the surgery. But in all honesty, lost almost 20 pounds in 2 months before the surgery just following the bariatric nutrition protocol my doctor prescribed to me. So if I can lose weight just doing that then others can too. I had the surgery because I needed my body to hold me accountable. The surgery is a necessary tool to keep me focused on NOT eating too much and to keep me from binge eating junk food. My sleeve is keeping me on track and focused. Not telling everybody because it is nobody’s business.

[Greendragonfly 110]

I have told my family and my best friend. I wont tell others because people that have never been overweight or obese havent got a clue. They are judgemental even if they say they arent. In subtle ways and in not so subtle ways I have been treated differently by most people because of my weight. The last thing I want to hear is someone said “she took the easy way out”. This is far from the easy way out. Being a diabetic nearly made weight loss impossible for me. I do not see it as a lie in any way. I see it as a personal choice. I dont owe it to any one to be truthful about this journey as long as Im truthful with myself.

[Suzi_the_Q 253]

I've found when I've told ppl casually, I get instantly written off, like I don't have to work at it at all or watch what I eat, exercise etc. So, I'm pretty much going to keep it to myself.

[Dinah55 27]

I struggled with the tell or don't tell issue, and finally decided to be honest with family and friends. I didn't want the stress of making up some "I'm doing keto" story or something like that. And after a lot of thought, I decided that I really don't give a flyin' flip what anybody thinks about my surgery. If they don't like it, I couldn't care less. And as it turns out, I haven't gotten any negative reactions. People have really been supportive. If they disapprove, they haven't told me to my face, so I at least haven't had to listen to negative garbage. But to each his own. I can totally understand wanting to keep it under wraps. When I was younger, I probably wouldn't have been so open about it, but I'm now at an age where I don't give a hoot what anybody thinks about me! 😉

[SimeonExpress 6]

As someone with a brain injury, I am considered "neurologically ill" and so this kinda stings. Part of my brain has been cauterized off. The resulting damage has degraded my ability to exercise over the past 5 years. I am completely honest about my surgery and motives for having it. I think it is awful to put down a whole group of people because of the actions of a few.

That being said, lying about it is distasteful but some people are ashamed I think. It's up to us to help end the stigma of any if these procedures by being honest and answering questions.

[Luna Girl 307]

4 hours ago, SimeonExpress said:

As someone with a brain injury, I am considered "neurologically ill" and so this kinda stings. Part of my brain has been cauterized off. The resulting damage has degraded my ability to exercise over the past 5 years. I am completely honest about my surgery and motives for having it. I think it is awful to put down a whole group of people because of the actions of a few.

That being said, lying about it is distasteful but some people are ashamed I think. It's up to us to help end the stigma of any if these procedures by being honest and answering questions.

Keeping personal medical procedures, conditions and diagnosis private is not lying and does not mean people are ashamed. Some people prefer their privacy.

[Flikka 20]

I had initially planned to be open but after raising the topic with a close friend and family member and getting into an argument about how ridiculous and unnecessary it was I decided to keep it to myself. I don’t owe ANYONE an explanation about the decisions I make about MY life.

[STLoser 1,085]

I don't know that many people, but I everyone I do know knows I had the surgery. I've been open about it because I'm an open book and also not a good liar, so if people asked how I lost weight I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself. I am also very outspoken and some (OK, most lol) would say argumentative, so I don't mind setting someone straight if they have something negative to say about me getting surgery. I have been lucky that the people in my life have been very positive and supportive.
All that being said, this is my own personal choice to be open about it. We're all different and some people are way more private than me, and it is their right to keep this information to themselves.
I wish we lived in a society where we could all be open if she chose to and not be judged, but we don't. I do hope that me being open will educate some people, but I also know you can't really change anyone's mind. People are going to think what they want about the surgery. I personally don't care what they think of me, but not everyone wants to deal with people's judgment and I completely understand that. It really is rude to ask people about their body anyway. My husband deals with this all the time because he is 6'10" and just about every time we're out someone asks how tall he is, if he plays basketball, his shoe size, how much he weighs, etc. Everyone can plainly see my husband is very tall, but it's still no one's business to ask him about it. Sometimes he answers them and sometimes he doesn't, but it's his choice to respond.
He is not obligated to tell anyone this information.
Anyway, I'm ranting here, but telling someone or not is everyone's personal choice, and it's is medical information which they absolutely have the right to keep to themselves if they choose to.



Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Greendragonfly 110]

I dont understand why anyone would consider not telling people that you had WLS a LIE?? If someone has the nerve to ask me how I lost weight I would just say I decided to get healthy. That isnt a lie. Its keeping my personal business private. If someone asks you how much your mortgage is or how much you paid for your car do you just blurt it out? Personal is personal. Honestly, what I weigh and how I did it or didnt do it isnt anyones business other than those I chose to tell. Unless it puts someone in harms way or hurts someone it isnt anyones business and I personally think its rude for people to ask.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

Well dang I don’t remember signing on to become a lifelong bariatric surgery counselor when I got surgery. I’m a private person and I don’t discuss my medical issues with people I’m not very close with.

There’s a huge difference between me just living my life and not sharing my personal medical information and someone positioning themselves as a weight loss expert/influencer and not disclosing it. I’ve had some comments on how great my skin looks at my age as well, and for some people I offer a thanks, and for others I offer information on my Botox provider. It’s almost like I’m an adult who doesn’t owe every human I meet my life story. Do you think I should put a sign on my door that outlines my various surgeries and medical procedures on the off chance it influences someone? Oh maybe I should also list any marital/child rearing difficulties I’ve ever had and information on my bowel habits too. Or do I maybe have the right to decide who I share what information with?

Let people live their lives and worry about yourself and your own decisions.

[Luna Girl 307]

8 minutes ago, Greendragonfly said:

I dont understand why anyone would consider not telling people that you had WLS a LIE?? If someone has the nerve to ask me how I lost weight I would just say I decided to get healthy. That isnt a lie. Its keeping my personal business private. If someone asks you how much your mortgage is or how much you paid for your car do you just blurt it out? Personal is personal. Honestly, what I weigh and how I did it or didnt do it isnt anyones business other than those I chose to tell. Unless it puts someone in harms way or hurts someone it isnt anyones business and I personally think its rude for people to ask.

👏👏👏👏

[Luna Girl 307]

10 minutes ago, blackcatsandbaddecisions said:

Well dang I don’t remember signing on to become a lifelong bariatric surgery counselor when I got surgery. I’m a private person and I don’t discuss my medical issues with people I’m not very close with.

There’s a huge difference between me just living my life and not sharing my personal medical information and someone positioning themselves as a weight loss expert/influencer and not disclosing it. I’ve had some comments on how great my skin looks at my age as well, and for some people I offer a thanks, and for others I offer information on my Botox provider. It’s almost like I’m an adult who doesn’t owe every human I meet my life story. Do you think I should put a sign on my door that outlines my various surgeries and medical procedures on the off chance it influences someone? Oh maybe I should also list any marital/child rearing difficulties I’ve ever had and information on my bowel habits too. Or do I maybe have the right to decide who I share what information with?

Let people live their lives and worry about yourself and your own decisions.

❤️❤️❤️

[C_K 3]

On 5/11/2021 at 9:40 AM, muala94 said:

... If someone with obesity approached me and asked me "how I did it," I would be 100% honest...

On 5/11/2021 at 9:40 AM, muala94 said:

If someone with obesity approached me and asked me "how I did it," I would be 100% honest.

I'm only here (pre-op for VSG) because a colleague, who had dropped a bunch of weight, told me she had weight loss surgery after I commented on how great she looked. I wouldn't have considered it otherwise as my doctor had never mentioned it, and in my head it was this crazy dangerous thing where 10% of people died in the first five years (no clue where I got that stat in my head). So I'm grateful she told me. But, I don't feel as brave. I'm embarrassed to be at this point - and worried I'll fail and regain weight and it will be even more awful because people knew I had surgery. But I'm dreading people commenting on my weight loss. I'm still teleworking fulltime due to COVID, and I'm hoping I can drop a bunch of weight before I have to go back to the office so people (who I haven't seen in 18 months at this point) will think it was something that happened over a longer period.

[Skinniermr 5]

I don’t think damage is done by not divulging my method of weight loss. It’s not like there is not a ton of information available to anyone regarding weight loss surgery. I’ve been mostly hidden from friends and coworkers due to Covid. Those I do not wish to tell, Ill probably just say “I worked really hard to lose it”!