Second Guessing This!

[sizemedown 42]

Hi. I am really struggling. I can't even believe I am saying this after wanting this for over 17 YEARS! BUT I am second guessing going through with the surgery on Sept 2nd.

I want to preface this with this: I do not feel that just one of these instances has me worried, it's the accumulation of all them all. So please bear with me while I try to explain and thanks in advance for listening.

My surgeon I have chosen has excellent reviews. His office staff is so kind when I speak to them, but honestly I had to call them and remind them of things almost every step of the way. I blew it off at first, but even one of their reviews mentions irritation with the office. AND then, I never even saw my surgeon one last time before surgery. I didn't even know which surgery I was having until my GP doctor's receptionist told me which surgery was listed on the paperwork she received! I have received emails from him personally which was great, but the paperwork he sent for the prep before surgery wasn't even his own. It was from a total different state like off another doctor's website. Then, his intro to my email was "Hey", not my name and his signature on his email was not "Dr." It was not even his full name it was as if he was emailing a friend because he signed it with a nickname. I hope I am explaining this all well.

Anyway, then... the day I started communication with the actual surgery center they were beyond unavailable. They called me, but I was unable to give them information because I wasn't home, but I rushed home and called them 20 min. later and noone answered and I was told to "wait by the phone" and after 5 hours of sitting by the phone, getting the run around each hour they went home. I mean heck, why not? It is Friday. So I decided to look at the hospital reviews again to see what everyone said about the hospital to make sure I wasn't overreacting. The hospital has a 3.1 rating!!!!!!!! That's pretty bad. The things people are saying are really bad.

Anyway, I'm super nervous. I have lost 49 pounds as of today ON MY OWN WITHOUT the surgery and wondering if I should even go through with this??? I had never worked with a nutritionist and 49 pounds since May 2and on my own is UNREAL. I'm on oxygen 24/7 for the last 2 years after almost dying from respiratory failure due to my weight. I have a lot of health problems, but I'm getting better now. My health is poor, but it's getting better with the weight loss, but am I overreacting to everything?

Thanks for listening!

HW: 404 lbs.

5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.

8/27/20 current weight: 333

9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

My weight this morning was 328.4 I forgot to update that on my last post.

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/27/20 current weight: 333
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[Kaylieghm 2]

First of all I would like to congratulate you on your weight loss. With what you have experienced, I would honestly trust your instincts. I find it odd that you have not had an RD monitor you as part before a surgery date was scheduled. I would recommend that you look into another surgery center. Wish you the best in your journey.

[NovaLuna 710]

You could always have your GP switch you to a different surgeons office and tell your GP that you very much don't trust the one you have. And generally you can request a different hospital as well. I didn't actually meet my surgeon until the day of my surgery because their practice is really busy. You can request that they set up an appointment to meet the surgeon, but I knew tons of people who'd used the same surgeon and were happy with their results so I didn't feel the need. The staff in my surgeons office though has nothing but bad reviews. They are REALLY terrible. There is literally only one front office lady who knows what the hell she's doing and the rest don't know up from down so the reviews were always bad concerning the front office staff. And the PA's and NP's they have on staff are hit and miss. There is one that I absolutely DESPISE and refuse to see. I literally saw her one time and she was SOOOOO rude that I told the front office people to NEVER give me an appointment with her. There's also one PA who is really nice but is like always an hour behind AT LEAST. So I don't like seeing her either because you end up in the office for 2-3 hours... -_-"

I'm slightly confused about how the surgeon decided your surgery and the hospital you are having it at though because the insurance coordinator asked me before they sent my paperwork in for insurance approval which of the four hospitals they have listed under the practice I wanted my surgery at. I chose the only one of the bunch that I'd been hospitalized in because it was a pleasant experience and I liked the staff. I also got asked which surgery I WANTED. I got to choose. So I'm a little confused as to why you didn't get that option. If your surgeons office doesn't allow you to make that decision I'd DEFINITELY go elsewhere! Unless they put you down for the one you wanted anyway...

And... just a note of caution... I lost 64 pounds on my own before my surgery, but didn't bother to even contemplate going without my surgery because I have MANY family members who did the whole dieting route (I'm the first in my mom's side of the family to have WLS) and not a single one of those who went the dieting route reached their goal weight. My mom at her heaviest was 380 pounds. She's 5'4. She wanted to get down to 160, but she plateaued YEARS ago and bounces back and forth between the 230's to 240's. No matter what she does she can't get passed the 230's. So the diet route just doesn't seem plausible. Also my grandma yo-yo diets all the time and can never get to her goal weight. She gets frustrated and then stops dieting only to pack the pounds back on and go through the whole process all over again. My aunt also has the same issue. So just be aware that while you can very well lose a bunch of weight it likely won't all come off without the help that the surgery provides. It's not impossible to do it without the surgery, it's just extremely unlikely.

[sizemedown 42]

A long time I lost 70 pounds with Isagenix, but gained it all back because I was in a dysfunctional relationship of 11 years. And I removed certain family members from my life, which always helps tremendously. I'm extremely independent now, despite my health. I've started therapy this time and changed all my eating habits with nutritionist. And I've tried many weight loss programs over my lifetime. I'm 49. But this time the pounds are melting off because of the many changes I have made at once.

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[It's time. 145]

Can you share the surgeon or the hospital name? Maybe someone here knows something.

[catwoman7 10,852]

I've heard some clinics are really overwhelmed right now because so many surgeries were put off earlier this year because of COVID, so they're playing massive catch-up, but even in light of that, some of this stuff you mentioned is weird. Like not discussing which type of surgery with you? Or the surgeon signing a nickname?

as for the hospital, is there a specific thing people are complaining about? It could be something that may not affect you... I loved the hospital I had my plastic surgery at - the staff was great and I loved my surgeon - but their billing dept (which was actually outsourced - so not at the hospital) SUCKED. That hospital didn't get the greatest reviews either, but a lot of them had to do with the horrendous billing agency.

[sizemedown 42]

You could always have your GP switch you to a different surgeons office and tell your GP that you very much don't trust the one you have. And generally you can request a different hospital as well. I didn't actually meet my surgeon until the day of my surgery because their practice is really busy. You can request that they set up an appointment to meet the surgeon, but I knew tons of people who'd used the same surgeon and were happy with their results so I didn't feel the need. The staff in my surgeons office though has nothing but bad reviews. They are REALLY terrible. There is literally only one front office lady who knows what the hell she's doing and the rest don't know up from down so the reviews were always bad concerning the front office staff. And the PA's and NP's they have on staff are hit and miss. There is one that I absolutely DESPISE and refuse to see. I literally saw her one time and she was SOOOOO rude that I told the front office people to NEVER give me an appointment with her. There's also one PA who is really nice but is like always an hour behind AT LEAST. So I don't like seeing her either because you end up in the office for 2-3 hours... -_-"
I'm slightly confused about how the surgeon decided your surgery and the hospital you are having it at though because the insurance coordinator asked me before they sent my paperwork in for insurance approval which of the four hospitals they have listed under the practice I wanted my surgery at. I chose the only one of the bunch that I'd been hospitalized in because it was a pleasant experience and I liked the staff. I also got asked which surgery I WANTED. I got to choose. So I'm a little confused as to why you didn't get that option. If your surgeons office doesn't allow you to make that decision I'd DEFINITELY go elsewhere! Unless they put you down for the one you wanted anyway...
And... just a note of caution... I lost 64 pounds on my own before my surgery, but didn't bother to even contemplate going without my surgery because I have MANY family members who did the whole dieting route (I'm the first in my mom's side of the family to have WLS) and not a single one of those who went the dieting route reached their goal weight. My mom at her heaviest was 380 pounds. She's 5'4. She wanted to get down to 160, but she plateaued YEARS ago and bounces back and forth between the 230's to 240's. No matter what she does she can't get passed the 230's. So the diet route just doesn't seem plausible. Also my grandma yo-yo diets all the time and can never get to her goal weight. She gets frustrated and then stops dieting only to pack the pounds back on and go through the whole process all over again. My aunt also has the same issue. So just be aware that while you can very well lose a bunch of weight it likely won't all come off without the help that the surgery provides. It's not impossible to do it without the surgery, it's just extremely unlikely.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I am so relieved I posted this and you shared your experiences. Wow how similar. This makes me feel SO much better. I'm going to do it. I just really needed to know this has happened with good results.

In regards to the surgery, when we first met he and I discussed that the sleeve was what I really needed to do because I am on oxygen. It would be less risk because I am at "moderate risk" right now. Then after the EGD he found some things and thought he would need to do bypass, but he would let me know. Well, no one ever did let me know. I found out the way I said. Anyway, no biggie to that. But I haven't asked him if he can select another hospital. I think I may do that. If not, again his reviews are great so that's the most important part.

Again, thank you so much. I am nervous enough about everything and really don't like adding on the fear of being at others mercy and not feeling at ease. But hell, welcome to the healthcare system, right? [emoji19]

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

First of all I would like to congratulate you on your weight loss. With what you have experienced, I would honestly trust your instincts. I find it odd that you have not had an RD monitor you as part before a surgery date was scheduled. I would recommend that you look into another surgery center. Wish you the best in your journey.

Thank you. What's an RD monitor?

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

I wonder a little about this, because the practice in Norway is usually that you don't meet your surgeon at all, all your prepp and grunt work are done by others, and your post op care is also done by others, you go to sleep before the surgeon shows up. Is it common elsewhere to have a highly involved surgeon? I didn't meet mine until 20 minutes prior to surgery either.

Def support either talking to the surgeons office about this, or have your surgeon changed if it makes you feel uncomfortable - you are having a person literally rearrange your insides, so if the trust isn't there, you are bound to have issues with it.

The second guessing is very common because one tends to loose a bit of weight on the pre op diet that makes you think you can handle this on your own. What one forgets is that 98% of WLS patients have tried to loose weight before, and just winded up loosing a few pounds then gaining it and its friends back on again. It is also very hard to loose a significant amount of weight completely on your own. Not saying surgery is the ONLY options, but for most obese persons diet alone will not sustain over a time to a healthy weight - this has been proven in multiple research articles.

This is so good to hear you say. I love it all. Thank you, thank you! You all are wonderful. I'm totally fine with the surgeon for the most part. I think the fear is just like you said part of the journey. Thanks to you all for reminding me I never keep it off and this is snout keeping it off. I'm so appreciative to you for your time and comments. To all of you. Just means so much. I'm single and gave zero support except you guts and my therapist. I have chosen this route so I'm not saying I'd want it any other way. It has just been a little scary.

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[Kaylieghm 2]

6 minutes ago, askmehow said:

A registered Dietitian

Thank you. What's an RD monitor?

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

On 8/21/2020 at 9:54 PM, Jdymitc said:

I am now more than 6 months out from my revision surgery from sleeve to bypass. I can eat normally and have not experienced the “stuck” food syndrome again. Did you advise your team about the stuck food feeling since your most recent surgery?

[sizemedown 42]

I've heard some clinics are really overwhelmed right now because so many surgeries were put off earlier this year because of COVID, so they're playing massive catch-up, but even in light of that, some of this stuff you mentioned is weird. Like not discussing which type of surgery with you? Or the surgeon signing a nickname?
as for the hospital, is there a specific thing people are complaining about? It could be something that may not affect you... I loved the hospital I had my plastic surgery at - the staff was great and I loved my surgeon - but their billing dept (which was actually outsourced - so not at the hospital) SUCKED. That hospital didn't get the greatest reviews either, but a lot of them had to do with the horrendous billing agency.

Yes, I agree with them being overwhelmed. I thought of that, too, but my mind was running wild at this point. I'm going to calm down now. Yes, odd the doctor signed it like that. Maybe he was just tired it was very late at night and I appreciate the correspondence so I certainly didn't want to read too much into it. Again it was an accumulation of things. But the complaints are mainly billing like you said, but the #1 complaints were treatment in the ER by nurses and doctors. The labor and delivery was great, but the just meh. I will have a fresh look at this Monday. I am pretty zapped. I am a very positive, "always look at the bright side of things" type of person and because of you all my anxiety and second guessing is diminishing. God bless this site and opportunity we all have to bounce stuff off of eachother

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

Can you share the surgeon or the hospital name? Maybe someone here knows something.

I don't feel comfortable doing that. I appreciate it, but I just want to keep it general. I will reveal it later. I just wanted a general idea of the circumstances. Based on the responses, I feel a lot better. Thank you!

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

It is scary, I litteraly walked in to the Operation Room with a sky high pulse and thinking "abort! abort! abort misson! What the hell am I doing". It is changing your whole life in half an hour - plus you'll probably also regret it the first 2-4 weeks as well. But, I will say - despite a few bumps in the road for me - I would do it again knowing what I do now in a heartbeat. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner, and asked my GP for referral for public funding instead of paying 5500 euros out of pocket, on a wim a summers day last year.

Lol. Hilarious. Yes! I totally agree. You are funny. Thank you so much for sharing this. I know it's the best decision ever. Its the only way to keep it off. I'm just nervous. So happy for your great success. Good for you.

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

[sizemedown 42]

First of all I would like to congratulate you on your weight loss. With what you have experienced, I would honestly trust your instincts. I find it odd that you have not had an RD monitor you as part before a surgery date was scheduled. I would recommend that you look into another surgery center. Wish you the best in your journey.

I thought I responded to you. I'm so sorry if you didn't get it somehow?? Thank you for the praise. It made me feel better. Everything you wrote helped me. Let me know if you only got this response. Thanks again!

HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date