Discouragement

[Annette P 12]

I am signing up for the gastric sleeve surgery. Mixed emotions, but hoping that this will really give me back the energy level and enjoyment in life again that i have lost in the last many years. My sign up date is Sept. 28th. I know it is going to be a long process but Im looking forward to the knowledge and support that comes with the process.

Has anyone experienced friends and others saying alot of negative things about the surgery and how bad it is going to be afterward. I mean I know there is risks and all, but some keep telling me its not a quick fix and all of the horrible things they know others have had, or had themselves.

Is this normal for others to discourage you like this?

[mattk53 124]

Yes, I had friends tell me "it doesn't work' or "I know a guy........." It took me 15 months from my first visit with my surgeon to my surgery date, So it is a process, but it was worth it. I'm down 127 pounds as of today. In my limited opinion all the problems were overblown.

Edited August 28, 2020 by mattk53

[Annette P 12]

Thank you so much. I am kinda excited that after all these years of fighting that I am mentally ready to take such a big step but it feels like so many people are trying to convince me not to do it and all the things that will and can happen, which makes me think should I really change my mind. Thing is at my age i feel like this is a do or die situation. And if i dont, there will be no turning back and i will get all the medical issues that goes along with being so over weight.

[Sammi_Katt 303]

People *really* like to stick their noses in people's business where it doesn't belong. I brought it up thinking my friends and family would be happy to hear about me taking a positive change toward healthy, but I was met with a lot of negative comments. I ended up not telling anyone else until afterward, once I started losing the weight.

It is *not* a quick fix, no matter what people tell you. It's a tool to help you get your life on track in a healthy way. There will be a honeymoon period where the weight falls off with you doing nothing, but once that stops, it's all on you. It's not the "easy way out."

I had a lot of health problems before this. I've lost almost 100 pounds in 8 months and, despite a little saggy skin, my health is the best it's ever been in my entire life. I have normal blood pressure, I'm not longer at risk of a heart attack, I am not at risk for diabetes, I have more energy than ever before and actually want to get out and do things...

People are going to be supportive and people are going to be total jerks about it. You just gotta make sure you listen to what *you* want to do. It's your body and it's your health. ❤️

[Annette P 12]

Thank you Sammy. 🙂

[NovaLuna 710]

43 minutes ago, Annette P said:

I am signing up for the gastric sleeve surgery. Mixed emotions, but hoping that this will really give me back the energy level and enjoyment in life again that i have lost in the last many years. My sign up date is Sept. 28th. I know it is going to be a long process but Im looking forward to the knowledge and support that comes with the process.

Has anyone experienced friends and others saying alot of negative things about the surgery and how bad it is going to be afterward. I mean I know there is risks and all, but some keep telling me its not a quick fix and all of the horrible things they know others have had, or had themselves.

Is this normal for others to discourage you like this?

People always want to butt their heads into your business. I had co-workers asking me why I was still going through with my surgery when I'd lost 64 pounds on my own and my response was that I was going through with the surgery because I knew I would plateau far before my goal if I tried to do it on my own because I have family who've done the whole weight loss on their own as my example. Not one of them reached their goal. I'm the first in my family who has gone the WLS route. But... I was also the heaviest by more than 150 pounds... so there's that. Other than a little criticism about why I didn't just try on my own nobody bothered me about my decision.

Also, not to be a downer, but the surgery ISN'T a quick fix. It's a tool. You have to work with it for it to work. If you eat junk the weight won't fall off. You have to follow the diet plan. It's about learning to eat different and having a healthier lifestyle. Can you eventually go back to eating what you did before? In moderation. After you've gotten into maintenance you can occasionally treat yourself, but don't do it all the time or the weight will pack itself back on. That's why you hear so much about the people who 'failed'. They lost the weight and then went back to their old eating habits and packed the weight back on. I have several people as examples of that at work. Also several who have either followed their new lifestyle and kept the weight off and some who have gone back into a few bad habits and gained SOME back, but are still happy with their loss (I work in a company of close to 300 employees and there are about two dozen who have had weight loss surgery. It's VERY common where I work).

If WLS is something you feel you need to get where you want to be then don't let the doubters make you doubt your choice. Tell them "It's my life and my body, not yours. So mind your own business". If they don't back off just try and ignore them.

[andreariv 7]

I had surgery June 4. I told some family and close friends about my decision. I haven’t told many others. They just see me losing weight. Surround yourself with people who support you. You know what is best for your body.

[Annette P 12]

Thanks yall, that is why i joined this website, people like yall that help support me and give me hope. 🙂

[BigSue 1,320]

I started looking into WLS about 15 years ago, but my family talked me out of it (not because they didn’t think it would work, but because they thought I would die or have horrible complications). This time around, I didn’t tell anyone (other than medical professionals), and I don’t plan on telling anyone.

I have heard a lot of criticism of WLS, mostly by people who are ignorant and have no idea what’s involved with it. It’s interesting that people are telling you that it’s not a quick fix, because I think the most common misconception people have is that it’s the “easy way out.” It’s not. It’s hard. It is the most effective treatment for weight loss, so I don’t know why so many people would rather see us continue to struggle with yo-yo dieting that has been proven not to work.

i wouldn’t necessarily say to ignore the opinions of your friends and family because at least some of them are saying these things out of genuine concern because they care about you. But take their opinions with a grain of salt because they most likely don’t know much about WLS. Pay more attention the the people who have actually been through it, like people here. I watched a lot of YouTube videos before my surgery by people who have been through it, and that really helped to prepare me (for both the good and bad parts) and put my mind at ease. Part of the reason I was so easily convinced not to do it before was that I was so intimidated by everything I’d have to do and what I’d have to give up, and I didn’t know if I could do it. Seeing real people who were in the same boat as I was get through it made it seem possible.

[Annette P 12]

Thanks so much big sue. My husband says people that say the bad things are jealous that i might be thinner than them. I too am having alot of concerns about making the changes to my food. I am extremely addicted to sugar and comfort foods. I am looking forward to going through the classes and learning as much as i can about everything that goes with the process. Thank u so much for ur encouragement. 🙂

[catwoman7 10,854]

major complications really aren't very common anymore. These have become routine surgeries and are much safer than they were years ago. I think some people are remembering how weight loss surgeries were back 30+ years ago when they really were pretty dangerous. That's just not the case anymore.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Sammi_Katt said:

People *really* like to stick their noses in people's business where it doesn't belong.

This. I literally told my parents and that's it. It's not shame-it's simply no one else's business. I don't care about their unwarranted and anecdotal information (that many of them for from 30 years ago) and no one has the right to know about my medical...anything.

If you've done your homework and feel comfortable, don't let the story of someone's "brother's-second cousin removed-nephew's sister from their 3rd marriage" dissuade you.

Good luck.

[Guest]

The only person who knew before the procedure was my husband. After, I told my children so they would not worry that something was seriously wrong. I have told nobody else. I feel it's nobody's business.

[Arabesque 6,467]

All surgery carries risk but so does being obese. Unfortunately, there’ll always be some negative Nancies out there who are so happy to tell you horror stories. But you didn’t make this decision without doing the research & there are thousands of success stories on this forum. Sure some have experienced complications along the way but goodness knows what they would have faced without the surgery & not losing weight.

As others have said, it’s not an easy fix. You have to make changes & take advantage of the tool. If you pay for a gym membership but never go, you’ll never get healthier. Same with wls: you have to work at it every day. It’s a lifestyle change.

Best of luck with your surgery. It’s an amazing journey & the benefits are incredible.