Discouraging friends

[Takoda 23]

Hello all!
So my surgery date is quickly approaching. I haven’t really told many people that I’m having it mostly because some of my friends reactions have been rather discouraging. They almost have a tone like I’m being frivolous or ridiculous for having the sleeve, when I believe I’m doing something to prolong my life. I mean even if everyone I knew disagreed I know this is what I’ll need to get back to a normal BMI. I just wasn’t expecting certain people to react so negatively towards it.

[colormehappy 123]

My surgery is scheduled June 2. My husband is the only person who knows about it. I just don’t want or need people’s opinions when they don’t really know what I’ve been through. I’d also just prefer no attention around it, positive or negative.

[Hop_Scotch 1,625]

Unfortunately unless someone has been overweight or obese and battled to lose weight they do not understand, even some overweight or obese people don't understand that WLS is not an easy way out. You can probably expect more people to be negative. You will find plenty of support on these forums as well as some relevant Facebook groups if that is your thing.

I am a very private person and no one knows of my VSG and only one person (if they didn't tell anyone else) knew about a prior procedure.

[New&Improved 1,780]

I don't get what the issue ppl have with surgery why is it so normal to have lip fillers. Boob jobs and other cosmetic things but not actual weight loss surgery to save your life??

[colormehappy 123]

3 minutes ago, Superman84 said:

I don't get what the issue ppl have with surgery why is it so normal to have lip fillers. Boob jobs and other cosmetic things but not actual weight loss surgery to save your life??

I think the difference is that thin people think that if fat people worked hard enough (or at all) they could lose the weight. No amount of work will make your boobs bigger.

[New&Improved 1,780]

Well it's a known fact ppl can lose weight but it's the weight staying off that is the issue and until I have surgery I never lost so much weight and now it's staying off so it's the best decision I ever made and I encourage more ppl to get surgery..

Boobs and fillers are a waste of money and sad that women feel they need to be fake... I personally like naturally pretty or cute girls not ones you can tell are full of Botox.

[AZhiker 2,251]

45 minutes ago, Superman84 said:

Well it's a known fact ppl can lose weight but it's the weight staying off that is the issue and until I have surgery I never lost so much weight and now it's staying off so it's the best decision I ever made and I encourage more ppl to get surgery..

Boobs and fillers are a waste of money and sad that women feel they need to be fake... I personally like naturally pretty or cute girls not ones you can tell are full of Botox.

Superman, everyone likes naturally pretty or cute girls. That's the problem. Our society places high value on physical beauty, and not everyone is naturally pretty or cute. By your own admission, you like pretty and cute - not plain or less than average. Women know this and they want to be more attractive......... which is why they have the surgeries. Most women who have plastic surgery do not do it because they "feel they need to be fake." They do it because they feel their bodies need some intervention to meet societal standards of beauty.

[Recidivist 1,141]

I had one family member and one close friend who were extremely critical of getting weight loss surgery. Both are quite obese themselves. I think they felt either threatened or jealous of the fact that I was doing something to take control of my health and my life.

[Takoda 23]

I can see why people choose not to tell people now. Negativity is honestly the last thing I need right before sgy. And the only reason I even informed the few people I did was because I knew they would grow concerned seeing me lose such a large amount in a short time frame. I’m just going to continue to move forward and focus on myself and my health. I mean they don’t know what it’s like to have to deal with life as an obese person.

[Hop_Scotch 1,625]

My weight loss hasn't been that drastic as I was at a lower BMI (but still obese) and I had loss some weight previously, factor into that, covid lockdown so people haven't seem me for sometime. That said most of the people i have seen who I hadn't seen before I had lost 12 or so kilos recently (since about early March) haven't even batted an eyelid, haven't even looked twice. For those who did notice a weight loss, I said my gall bladder surgery (which was my excuse off work) triggered it was my time to get healthy and I had been eating better and less and exercising.

Takoda, do what is best for you and works for you - and that is from the beginning of the process all the way to the end.

[Lily66 425]

WLS offers us SO many opportunities for growth and change! It’s Amazing to take a day to recognize and embrace them, beginning with....

Edited May 25, 2020 by Lily66

[Hop_Scotch 1,625]

4 minutes ago, Lily66 said:

WLS offers us SO many opportunities for growth and change! It’s Amazing to take a day to recognize and embrace them, beginning with....

Sometimes it is hard to live by...but I do try...'What anyone else thinks of me is none of my business'

[JessLess 1,163]

If your "friends" can't be supportive, they are not your friends right now. Maybe in the future, but surrounding yourself with negativity will only bring you down.

[ChubRub 1,696]

I'm sorry that your friends aren't being supportive. Use it as motivation and prove them WRONG by being successful after surgery and hitting all of your personal goals!

Best of luck to you!!

[WInston223322 160]

Do not let it bother you - Uneducated people have views and opinions! You are doing this for yourself not for them!

Trust me best thing i ever did