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My 8month anniversary - My story



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Posted (edited)

Today marks my 8month anniversary for WLS, and I can't believe were the time went. My WLS is somethink I think about every day, but yet not like think-think about it, difficult to explain. Today I weighed in, and it hit me that I haven't been this light weighted since the start of the 90s.

Since I haven't told anyone about my surgery, I spent alot of time on this forum to understand, to have a place were there were equals and to learn what is happening to me. Because honestly - a lot of weird stuff happens after WLS 😀, like the constant bruising - I look sometimes like I got a real good beat down!

My story:

I was always a fatchubby child. My grandpa used to call me his "fatbutt" and my Pops used to say that the floor squeeked when I walked on it. My mother would deny me to be in the kitchen. I was born with cerebral palsey and I don't have the same mobility as you normal people, but it is so little that noone can actually see it on me. It just makes it a little more difficult for me to move compared to normal people. So I was this chubby child with like 1/5 of the energy of a normal child, and with a lot less mobility.

I remember the summer when I was around 9-10 years old me and my best friend stayed in her fathers camping trailer for the entire summer (don't worry, the trailer was outside his house and Mama's house was just on the other side of the road). We had a blast and lived "free", and I don't know were we got the money, but we had stashed the entire trailer with candy, chips and bread with mayonaise. It was litteraly everywhere. She also won a sack with 20kgs of assorted chocolate that we ate almost alone over 2 months. We both gained weight that summer, and we were forced to weigh in by autum by her dad. I weighed 65kgs then. This was 1994/1995ish, and it was the last time I weighed myself and knew the digits until june 2011. I was weighed once after 2000 and remember saw it with half and eye that it was at least 120kg, and I gained more after that.

In febuary 2011, 18th febuary to be precise, I saw a documentary on how obesity afffects your insides. They even cut up 2 bodies, one normal weight and one obese to show us, and it was horrifying. I decided right on the spot to do something about this, the weight I had been fooling myself with so long. I made excuses like noone could see it if I wore a big sweater, or my bone structure was big so on and so on. But my feet ached, my back ached and I could barely move up the pathway withouth going out of breath. I had also noticed that I bleed all the time from my va-jayjay.

I had been lifting weights since I was 18, but never dieted. I would work out, then eat a burger and 2 chocolates in the car home. 2011 was in the middle of the most popular times for Keto and low-carb diets. Atkins and Fedon was the rulers of the world, and we all drank full fat whipping cream and shot butter. I went into this all in. Didn't touch a carb and worked out 5-6 hours a day. Noone noticed until one day I woke up and apparantly had lost it "overnight", people thought I was sick, and others speculated in if I had taken "the easy way" and had surgery. Pls note that I had been eating 1000kcals and zero carbs a day and worked my but off for 4 months. I didn't even tell my mother about the diet. But then suddenly it was apparant to others after all that work. That was when I stepped on the scale for the first time since childhood, and I prayed and prayed and prayed the digits be under 100kgs. It was 97😊. I've done some calculations and come to that my all time high weight was between 165-180 kgs.

So I worked even harder that summer. Cut calories, upped the training. It came to 85kgs, then it stopped. My body stopped completly. I had no immune system left, and I couldn't do anything without fainting. I got infections by infections by infections and I was sick for about a year with everything. I managed to keep my weight during this. But then I graduated and I got a job. A very, very stressful job in a company that were on the verge of bankruptcy. I would work 16-20 hours a day living of gas station food. I had no energy to train or do anything else (people with cerebral palsey has often symptoms close to fatigue and MS and they have to balance out their time to live a quality life) so I just slept when home. I rebuildt that company and I am very proud of that. Unfortunantly it came with poor food choices, lots of stress, lots of travelling and the likes. I knew I was gaining weight, just didn't think it was that much and that I still was under the 100s. I went from crystal clear menstruations that came on the dot when they were supposed to to bleedings and spottings. Along came the swolen feet, pre-diabetic bloodsugar, the hurting back and the bad moods. I stopped making better food choices and I isolated at home ashamed of myself.

Due to the bleeds I was forwarded to the OBG, and it was just devastating to both hear and read that my bleeds were from my excess weight. That I might get cancer because of it. Or diabetes. Or wear and tear on my legs and hips. I knew all of this from before, as I am a nutritionst, and I know what food does to you - I just didn't think it was that bad or was happening to me.

Fastforward summer 2019, I met a guy, and got dumped because of my weight. I was no longer the sexy sultry female from 2011-2012 that had confidence. I cried for a day, then decided to to something about my weight. I had been wondering about WLS for years, and now I finally took that decision. I booked the surgery on friday 2.august 2019. To do this I had to step on the scale and I was shocked of it beeing 132kgs. I thought it might be 110, but were hoping for less than 100kgs...I was so devastated having done this to myself, again. I payed for it myself as I didn't have the time to wait 1-2 years in the public system.

SO, on august 26th 2019 I got on a plane, told everyone that I was going on a buisness trip to London, turned of all my "trackings" on sosial medias and flew to Tallinn to get WLSed. I was SOOO mad at the nurse at the hospital forcing me to name a next of kind in the papers.

My WLS has been somewhat of a roller coaster. Today I weighed in 82,8 kgs, and I have never seen this number before other than in the early 90s. That means that I have lost 50kgs since WLS. 6,25kgs on average a month, or 1,6kgs each week. Isolated that sound so little. Only a measly 1,6kgs pr week like someone would say on this forum. I also went from a european size 48/50 to a size 40. I had to swap out all my undies recently, and all my work out wear is now a size M not a size XXL. One shoesize is gone - I have no idea HOW other than it must be swelling. I also lost fat around my head/neck - yep my head is actually smaller. And 4 weeks ago I had some surgery done in my va-jayjay to remove part of my cervix (ladies, pls take the HPV vaccine and use a condom, that goes for men to!!) were the OBG used the term "when you were overweight you had these issue" and not "you ARE overweight so you have these issues".

I also don't eat much and have some issues that may or may not be related to WLS. My butt is a bony situation, and I have to sit in a neutral position at the toilet to not hurt my glutes. I have low blood sugar, low bloodpressure, improved comorbidities, I don't bleed or spot anymore, I have regular periods and I have people telling me not to loose anymore weight. Joke is on them - there is still 20kgs fat that needs to go away on this body! I also have food aversions, suffer from dizziness, might have to remove my gall bladder, a stricture in my EOS, looow energy, don't sleep well and many other things like discovering that when my boobs scream in pain, I get my period. I also learned by my last period that I get different pain for crampings now, and that sex is a much more enjoyable affair now that I actually feel him downstairs.

But you know what, I wouldn't trade it back for the obesity. Not at all

I have spent many hours wondering about HOW I could do this to myself. The answer is: I ate to much, and I lived of fast foods and candy. But why did I do that? Is it because I got bullied for my low mobility? Or the fact that my family said and did the things they said? Is it because of my daddy issues? Or my mommy issues? Is it because I was sexually assaulted when I was 8? Is it because I was denied having good foods? I think it is a combination of many things, all things. To this day I am a very "cold" person. I give though love, and I don't get affected by a lot of things, I just push them away. Food never lets you down (well, it does after surgery, it is just food:P)




Edited by MsMocie

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Thank you for sharing your story.

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Thanks for posting your story.

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Wow, you have been through so much, and have come out the other side with such a great attitude and zest for life :D

Congrats on your spectacular loss, and making that decision to take control... I feel very much in the same position as you were before you got sleeved, I am waiting for elective surgery to open up again here in Aust to have mine done, can't wait!! :D

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