Worried I’m making a wrong choice

[bthompson82 32]

Hi! I am a type two diabetic and also have Intracranial hypertension, I’m 5”3 and 200 pounds currently( 255 at my highest) , I’m just at a BMI of 34.5 .. I qualify under these guidelines for sleeve surgery , and I’ve decided it’s what’s best for me. HERE IS THE PROBLEM, as soon as I told my spouse and mother they got upset.. they told me I’m “not big enough” or that I could just “lose it on my own, if I just work out .. do keto” .. it’s hard to hear and making me worry I’m making a wrong choice. Because I’ve lost 60 pounds on my own way back in 2014 they seem to think I can do it again.. it’s 2020.. I’ve been stuck at this weight 6 years! I’m sick of taking so much medication , and I need help.. but there is very little support.. so know I’m doubting myself.. I’m alright in the pre op process HELP!

[newyorklady20 97]

I feel like this is a common thing that I see mentioned by many, and something that I am worried about/anticipating once I start telling more people that I'm planning on getting the sleeve.

I would say that you know what is best for you and your body. If you are considering having this done, there is a reason for it and you have thought carefully about it. I would sit down and make a list of why you want to do it and know that its the right choice for you and then practice sharing those reasons so that you are ready when others bring up counter arguments. I would also wait to tell more people - that's what I have chosen to do for this very reason. I told my husband and 2-3 friends and I am not telling anyone else until I am approved by insurance so its already a done deal.

[bthompson82 32]

Thank you! I’ve done just that , after their reactions I decided not to tell anyone else. Thanks so much

[november11 970]

10 minutes ago, bthompson82 said:

Hi! I am a type two diabetic and also have Intracranial hypertension, I’m 5”3 and 200 pounds currently( 255 at my highest) , I’m just at a BMI of 34.5 .. I qualify under these guidelines for sleeve surgery , and I’ve decided it’s what’s best for me. HERE IS THE PROBLEM, as soon as I told my spouse and mother they got upset.. they told me I’m “not big enough” or that I could just “lose it on my own, if I just work out .. do keto” .. it’s hard to hear and making me worry I’m making a wrong choice. Because I’ve lost 60 pounds on my own way back in 2014 they seem to think I can do it again.. it’s 2020.. I’ve been stuck at this weight 6 years! I’m sick of taking so much medication , and I need help.. but there is very little support.. so know I’m doubting myself.. I’m alright in the pre op process HELP!

hi.. I understand your dilemma and I understand how important it is to have family support. fortunately I had support from everyone in my family which I thought my children would give me resistance but once I dropped that information about how I was tired of taking medication ,sleeping with a machine as my mate, feeling bad and looking bad they understood right away . unfortunately that did not happen for you ..However you need to do this for yourself or not . losing weight and keeping it off and eating healthy are 3 different things and this surgery can help you do all 3. educate your spouse , have him or her come to a informational meeting about the surgery maybe this will help . if they are still not on board ,,,oh well you have to do what's best for you... if they love you they would want you to live a longer and healthier life and be happy with yourself.... THAT's love... I see you have reacted to my before and after pic ..let me tell you i'm 57 now and I wish I would have done it sooner... the family will get over it and probably support the decision by and by...

[JRT Mom 919]

Yes, you may have lost sixty pounds before, but you gained it all back I assume? Most of us here have lost and gained over and over, and are STILL obese. Since you have diabetes and other issues it's clear that your weight is making you unhealthy. Getting WLS should be a more permanent solution and will help with your diabetes.

Like NYlady sez, it's YOUR body and YOUR health. Getting support from family is nice, but ultimately the decision is yours!

[bthompson82 32]

Thanks ladies ! It’s nice to find support! I’m 37 and just had a hysterectomy last year due to other health problems and everyone was ok with that! I continue to stress to both of them that I’m “SICK OF BEING SICK” lol .. but it’s true!!! I’ve made my mind up and I’m doing this! But it hard when my the person pushing me back the most is my spouse ( my mother is just bugging me about keto) but my spouse tends to bring up everything that could go wrong. It sucks to say the least.

[glannin 57]

I hear this all too well, my bf has been saying your going to get you stomach hacked out . Why can't you just walk with me or just eat salads. You don't need to do this...I am like first of all please stop speaking to me like that. This is my choice and I am going to do this. What I need from you right now is support. This my choice and be there for me when I need you to be. I have done a lot of research on the subject and I know the risks involved and I am willing to take those chances. I know it can be scary for those who don't know anything about about and yes this is elective surgery but I truly feel that this is right way for me to go....

[Wickedwinner 140]

My husband was much the same way when I first broached the subject. He went to an informational meeting with me and to my dr appt and asked LOTS of questions. After that, he was very supportive and remains so a year later. I’ve lost 106 lbs, am off all my medication and truly feel like I have my life back. My husband said the other night that he loves me at any weight but he feels like I’m much happier and that makes him happy. Yep, he’s a keeper!

Could I have lost it on my own? Maybe. But I don’t think I would have stuck with it long enough. I had real hunger and now I have little/controlled hunger. And I’m keeping up my exercise whereas before I would get frustrated and quit.


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[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

when i had my band place in 2009 my husband did everything in his power to stop me. You see he had absolute control over me. He controlled me, money, the house, everything.... I had zero self-esteem and self-worth. For years he told me that no other man would want me because i was fat.... Well i finally stood up for myself and did the band anyway. I was 232lbs and 5'2".... and at the end of 2 years i was at my best weight 143lbs. He hated the weight loss. He accused me of sleeping with everyone. Anyway, i also had a TT in 2012... and boy did he hate that even more.... Over the years i realized that i was stronger than i gave myself credit for. and in Jan 2016 i told him that if things didn't change i was filing for divorce in July he moved out. He tried everything to convince me to change my mind..but in January 2017 i filed, i lost the band a few months later.... but it didn't matter... even if i had gained every lb back i was still going to be happier.

Don't let anyone control you like I did.... i was married to him for 26 years.... Now i'm the happiest i have ever been. My kids asked... what too me so long.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

5 hours ago, newyorklady20 said:

I feel like this is a common thing that I see mentioned by many, and something that I am worried about/anticipating once I start telling more people that I'm planning on getting the sleeve.

I would say that you know what is best for you and your body. If you are considering having this done, there is a reason for it and you have thought carefully about it. I would sit down and make a list of why you want to do it and know that its the right choice for you and then practice sharing those reasons so that you are ready when others bring up counter arguments. I would also wait to tell more people - that's what I have chosen to do for this very reason. I told my husband and 2-3 friends and I am not telling anyone else until I am approved by insurance so its already a done deal.

don't tell anyone..... keep it to yourself.

[GradyCat 3,692]

People can be so insensitive. Don't listen to them. You qualify for the surgery and if that's what makes you happy, then do it. In addition to the weight I lose I also got rid of sleep Apnea, GERD, and High Blood Pressure, taking 2 fewer pills each day, so it was a win/win for me.

[Erica_B 46]

Stay the course!

There is a misconception that having weight loss surgery is somehow the 'easy' way out. I call BS!

My husband initially was not supportive when I broached the topic years ago, but after learning more about the process and the health benefits, he was on board, not because the thought of surgery didn't still trouble him, but because he wanted me to be healthy, and happy.

I was diagnosed in 2017 with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and have been in remission for over two years now. Though my oncologist could not tell me exactly how I came to have Lymphoma, there were many possible causal factors, one of which? You guessed it, obesity. I knew I needed to act, and after all we'd been through my hubby was all in to make sure my remission continued.

I can only speak for myself when I say that the sleeve surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made for me, physically and emotionally.

I have never been happier. Do whatever it takes to get YOU to healthy and happy.