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People are starting to see I'm not eating



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So...

Okei...I didn't tell anybody, I mean litteraly nobody that I had the surgery. For many reasons, mostly because I am ashamed that I gain all the weight after managing to diet 80 kg twice before. Anyway. At first I didn't think I would "get away" with it in the long run - maybe the kgs would just shed right off me. Then I started to think I WOULD get away telling nobody as the weight goes down so f**king slow.

But now, well people ask me why I eat so little. I've heard comments about picky eating, eating disorders etc. I actually move food around on my plate during eating anywhere but home (I am fortunate enough to eat almost what I want) like people with eating disorders often do. I still don't want anyone to know. I am a very private person and it would take alot of me to tell this. I am barely working up to telling my primary physician (I had it abroad - so It is not noted in any public files 😏) I even make an effort to cover my scars as best I can, using high volume retinol, acids and creams, and it works - they heal well beyond what they should.

Today I got a comment at work like "amazing you beeing the size you are - you barely just eat". We were at a retreat for the weekend and all my eating habits were on display showing her that I don't stuff my face after work. My new boyfriend thinks I am the pickiest eater in the world😂 (allbeit I was a picky eater prior to surgery, It has just gotten a bit worse as I no longer can handle eating meat balls, fried chicken, patties, fish fingers and that sort of food that aren't really good for us anyway. I think he seriously had to think about us a bit when I said I didn't like bacon (because everyone must love bacon - just not me! I haven't liked it ever, surgery or no surgery😂

Sooo, will I be able to keep this up in the long run? I don't want anyone but my doctor knowing.

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You can say you are on a medically supervised diet and exercise plan and leave it at that. Ne need to say what you're not comfortable with. 👍

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OK learn to lie your ass off! My top excused

1. Have to be careful what i eat - These meds for my eyes can cause Nashua

2. Got jammed up today just hit a drive thru a few hours ago

3. Drank to much wine last night stomach not in the mood for food

4. Just being careful what i eat, dont forget i had a heart issue so following doctors orders,

5. Learn the dump in mouth and dump in napkin trick -

6. Bottom line - Who cares what they think!

I kept it secret from everyone but my kids and girlfriend, Kids are 19 and 16 so mini adults, Long term girlfriend is having a issue with it, But like i told her, My eating habits are not your concern, plus she is a doc so she should understand. Just awkward to be around others who are gobbling up food and you are playing with yours.

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I had a hiatal hernia repair at the time of my bypass. I used this as a reason for a long time - "Doc must have tightened it up pretty good." I still haven't told anyone except my husband and adult kids. My parents dont even know. I work in the health care environment, and I hear so many stupid, judgmental, off hand comments about bariatric surgery, even from doctors who should know better. So I don't say anything about it to anyone. I am happy to discuss healthy lifestyle changes I have made, because that truly is the bottom line, but that's it. My PCP was and is extremely supportive, and for that I am very thankful. Hang in there. Your surgery and eating habits are no one else's business. Were they concerned enough to talk to you about eating disorders before? NOOOOOO! But now everyone is an expert on your choices, It truly is amazing. Just come up with a few pat answers and leave it at that. I like the one about you being in a medically supervised weight loss program. If any one probes, tell them about lifestyle changes. That usually stops them in their tracks. I've had people literally turn around and walk away when I got the the place on the list about no sugar and no alcohol!

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5 hours ago, nenes78 said:

You can say you are on a medically supervised diet and exercise plan and leave it at that. Ne need to say what you're not comfortable with. 👍

I told none of my work colleagues, and that is exactly what I did! It sounds like people would be supportive if you are doing something about your weight, and they don't need to know the details. Also, you will be able to eat more and a greater variety of foods as you move forward, especially during maintenance. I'm there now, and I can eat at a restaurant without it being obvious that I'm on a strict diet. Hang in there!

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22 hours ago, MsMocie said:

Sooo, will I be able to keep this up in the long run?

Most likely not without lying or concealing parts of the truth. *shrug*

But even then... I have some quite overweight coworkers from different departments. If one of them started losing weight really fast after being absent for some days, then starts working normally again, barely eating... I'd suspect WLS anyway, regardless of what stories they might be telling. But then again, WLS might not be on most people's radar and I would be too polite to ask because it's not my business, so...

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2 hours ago, summerset said:

Most likely not without lying or concealing parts of the truth. *shrug*

But even then... I have some quite overweight coworkers from different departments. If one of them started losing weight really fast after being absent for some days, then starts working normally again, barely eating... I'd suspect WLS anyway, regardless of what stories they might be telling. But then again, WLS might not be on most people's radar and I would be too polite to ask because it's not my business, so...

Maybe..

I do have the advantage of starting in a new department 2 days after surgery though. I was lucky and back to normal 7-8 hours after. Then I travelled with 3 plane changes for about 10 hours the next day, and the day after I started my new job. So I have the advantage of them not knowing me like my other coworkers I worked with 10 years.

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They'll still know you at your high weight, watching you getting thinner, barely eating. ;)

I think the only way of I-won't-tell-my-coworkers-and-can-get-away-with-it-without-them-being-nosy is starting a new job after reaching your final-weight or at least being near final-weight.

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There are quite a few people (work colleagues, some friends & family members) I didn’t tell about my surgery too & yes it is difficult explaining your new food choices.
I acknowledge I’ve always battled with my weight but I’m seeing a dietician and hope I can loose the weight for the long term this time. This usually results in supportive comments. I mean it’s not as if they can challenge or deny what I said.
When asked what diet I’m following I say a version of Keto to suit me. This also gets nods of support cause you know everyone knows someone who’s doing or done keto. 😜
I’ve also said I’ve come to realise I’m a small person & therefore only need small portions. Before I was probably eating as if I was 6ft.

Not lying but just omitting some truth.

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You all need to learn to put on your own personal "You don't really want to discuss weight loss surgery with me now, do you?" expression on your face if necessary.

Much easier than lying or concealing the truth in the long run. LOL.

Edited by summerset
typos

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