Cold Feet, My Lightbulb Moment

[HappyHikerGal 132]

I'm a month out from VSG surgery and yesterday had a severe bout of second-guessing myself.

Is it crazy to cut your stomach to lose weight? Am I making this decision in haste? My family aren't fully on board, but are supportive of my decision - am I right to go through with it anyway?

All these questions running through my mind made me feel quite low, and I sought some answers, did more research on VSG, why people have it, why it is effective, etc. That helped, but it wasn't the complete answer.

I realized today, that my deepest fear with such an important surgery is that I will fail like every single other time I tried to lose weight. That my family will see me fail again. That one thought is a ball and chain around my neck that is holding me back from fully believing in myself on this incredible new adventure I'm about to embark on.

Then I realized something important. That my past can either be a crippling weight on my shoulders, or I can choose to examine what I've learned from all of those dieting experiences and turn that wisdom into rocket fuel to propel me into a new healthy life, with the help of this proven surgical tool. I have to see my past as a source of positive wisdom. Like Thomas Edison, I've learned a 1000 different ways in which it doesn't work, but I will keep trying until I eventually find the one way that does. It's not a lightbulb, but my only one precious life. I'm worth the effort to examine those past experiences and mine every little bit of wisdom I can find, with love, humility, and excitement for the future.

So, I'm feeling much better about this.

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Welcome and start here.

This is normal behavior. I think we probably all went through it to some degree. I'm still afraid of "failing WLS" lol. But a little "Fear of the Lord" isn't bad, is it? Keeps us on the right path. Right?

We have a problem that is recognized as a disease by the AMA. Insurance companies are allowed to reimburse for the treatment of this disease. It's multi-variate and has many causes--not least of part of it for many is behavioral, emotional, and habitual.

Most doctors involved in bariatrics concede that once you get to the point of being morbidly obese, there is little chance of having long-term complete weight loss and maintenance at a low set point. The surgery offers a real opportunity for a metabolic reset (hormonally). It allows our body/mind to defend a lower set-point, allowing us to lose more weight without the brain thinking that we are starving ourselves. And once lost, provided we continue with healthy food choices/behaviors, the new brain will allow us to defend and maintain the lower weight without sending out extra doses of hunger hormones and insulin to send us back into a state of metabolic derangement.

That's what happens in a normal diet-loss-regain cycle. We lose x, then our brain gets wind that we are starving and so it sends our neuro and gut hormones into overdrive to cue the eating machine. Meanwhile, most of us will have decreased our metabolism by 10-20% because of said diet and calorie restriction...so it's a perilous sword.

This is as much weight maintenance surgery as it is WLS. And I choose to not be embarrassed cuz I needed to have a surgical correction for a medical disease. Just as I would not be embarrassed to have to have a cardiac stent placed if I had CHD. That's a disease too. Nor would I be embarrassed if my appendix needed to come out because of infection...

See what I mean?

[HappyHikerGal 132]

Thanks, FC. I follow that thread and value it! I almost posted this there. 😀

I so appreciate the reminder of the metabolic nature of our disease and how surgery is the most effective treatment at the moment. I'm on board to move forward. You're right, inherent in my reluctance and second-guessing is probably decades of internalizing negativity and self-blame as well as society's cruel treatment of obesity. I'm hoping to move beyond blame and move towards something more productive and positive. Self-reliance based on learning from mistakes as well as learning new strategies from others. Above all, I'm going to surrender my lifetime of trying and failing (n=1 experimentation) and do some trusting of science and following the directions of my clinic to optimize my tool.

[AJ Tylo 1,398]

Cant be said any better then Fluffy - I still to this day second guess my decision - But i have never been healthier and more balanced with Vitamins and minerals - Everyone here agrees on one thing - The mind games are a b***h. Talk to someone who has been thru it - Get the pros and cons - There is some great people here

[NancyLF 234]

I got myself psyched up for the surgery before I even had a date! What helped me were some of the many videos on YouTube by former sleevers. Just ordinary people like ourselves - telling of their experiences. They offer advice, suggestions, tips & encouragement.

There are even videos of the actual surgery - WARNING- Don't watch if you're the squeamish type!

These videos were SO helpful to me. Check them out - maybe they'll help you as well!

You got this!!!