Who will you tell (or not tell) about WLS?

[ChubRub 1,696]

I've decided not to tell anyone other than my husband. I just don't want to deal with the judgment, or feel like I'm the subject of gossip. I'm hoping to be back at work 2 weeks after surgery (I have a sedentary job), so will hopefully be able to just use some vacation time. My husband is 100% on board with the surgery and with keeping it a secret, so I'm very thankful for that!!

Anyone else keeping it a secret? Or are you telling just a few people, or the whole world?

[andis654 7]

I've told my husband, 4 of my closest friends, my boss, my parents and my brother. I also have said it on Instagram but I only have 1 person that really knows me there lol. I decided not to tell my other family right now. More than likely someone will find out about it and that's fine but I'll let them ask me if they're that interested lol. I'm not going to broadcast it to everyone. I really wish I hadn't told my parents and brother now though.

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Deedee12 1,859]

I've decided not to tell anyone other than my husband. I just don't want to deal with the judgment, or feel like I'm the subject of gossip. I'm hoping to be back at work 2 weeks after surgery (I have a sedentary job), so will hopefully be able to just use some vacation time. My husband is 100% on board with the surgery and with keeping it a secret, so I'm very thankful for that!!
Anyone else keeping it a secret? Or are you telling just a few people, or the whole world?

Hey there[emoji112][emoji112] Congratulations on your upcoming surgery!! I had the sleeve August 16th and ONLY my husband knows till date! You are right, I didn't want to deal with anyone's feelings about it be it be positive or negative. I only wanted to deal with myself. My husband is also supportive and good at respecting my need for privacy!
I have no regrets about both my decisions!
Good luck 🧡🧡

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Machalo 283]

i'm not exactly keeping it a secret, but I'm not announcing to the world either. Right now, just my husband knows and I'm fine with that. When I actually have the surgical date, I will call my sister-in-law to see if she will come help the first few days with my husband who is disabled. She's a nurse and would be highly offended if I didn't at least ask her to come right at the beginning. Other than that, everyone will notice when my weight starts to drop in buckets.

[ChubRub 1,696]

19 minutes ago, Machalo said:

i'm not exactly keeping it a secret, but I'm not announcing to the world either. Right now, just my husband knows and I'm fine with that. When I actually have the surgical date, I will call my sister-in-law to see if she will come help the first few days with my husband who is disabled. She's a nurse and would be highly offended if I didn't at least ask her to come right at the beginning. Other than that, everyone will notice when my weight starts to drop in buckets.

I can't wait for this!!!!!!!!!!!

[ChubRub 1,696]

20 minutes ago, Deedee12 said:

Hey there Congratulations on your upcoming surgery!! I had the sleeve August 16th and ONLY my husband knows till date! You are right, I didn't want to deal with anyone's feelings about it be it be positive or negative. I only wanted to deal with myself. My husband is also supportive and good at respecting my need for privacy!
I have no regrets about both my decisions!
Good luck 🧡🧡

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Glad to hear your were able to keep it a secret, and that your husband is supportive of that!! What did you do as far as missing work? Just use vacation time or make up a fake reason for being out? I'm planning on just doing vacation for now!

[FLHappyGirl 171]

Tell, don't tell. Everyone is different and I don't think there is a wrong answer.

If I had to do it all again I would limit the people I told even more so than I did. You might be surprised that some people you thought would be supportive are the biggest critics! and vice versa!

Just remember, YOU are the only person you can control. If you tell someone, they can and may tell others. It happened to me and it was one of the last people I expected it to come from....

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you are questioning whether to tell someone, don't. Wait. You can always confide in them later. Just my $.02 !

[Jobber 321]

I wanted to weigh in (no pun intended) on this subject because I have chosen to keep this a secret with the exception of a very tiny group of people who I trust. Here is what I have found now that I have lost 100lbs+ and I am nearly 7 months post-op.

People are smart, generally, and they tend to figure things out. But the good thing is that if they respect or like you, they won't tell you that they know unless you tell them. Besides, it's nobody's business but your own. If someone asks how you lost all the weight, you need to be prepared if your'e going to be completely honest or just slightly honest.

Most folks just don't understand that it's actually hard work to go through this process. After the first 4 to 6 months or so, you actually have to work to keep the weight coming off, it's not about restriction anymore when you're at the point I'm at. I have been working out every single day since a month ago and I've only lost about 5 pounds, but I figure it's my body figuring things out....hopefully.

Good luck in whatever decision you make, there's no wrong answer.

[Chardonnay40 153]

Just my sister, 2 close friends, and 1 co-worker. And if anyone ask me how i lost weight, I will eating healthy.

[momof3_angels 465]

My husband, daughter and a select few work friends initially. I just told both of my sons who don't live with me 4+weeks later. I am guessing the rumor mill has started at work. I don't intend to tell other family.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[PJ49 12]

My husband was the only one I told until today. I asked him not to share it with anyone, it's my journey and it should be my choice to share. He can be chatty with his siblings at times he comes from a big family. I told my sister today and I wish I had waited until after Oct 22nd. She had a lot to say, but i know that her opinions were from the heart, I just didn't want to hear them.

[Deedee12 1,859]

Glad to hear your were able to keep it a secret, and that your husband is supportive of that!! What did you do as far as missing work? Just use vacation time or make up a fake reason for being out? I'm planning on just doing vacation for now!

I just used vacation time. I think I took a Friday (surgery day) and 1 week off for a total of 9 days and I was fine going back to work.
I didn't miss a beat so no one was the wiser. I'd already mentioned to colleagues at work that I was going through a radical change in my diet and exercise regimen so they were mentally prepared for the change.
As I lose weight they have been complimentary.

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Mello1 227]

A co-worker and long time friend (over 30 years) of mine knows because she is getting ready to do the same thing. We both have been talking about it and came to our decisions in different ways. She had actually told me earlier this year that she was thinking about it, and I happen to have a colon and endoscopy this summer as part of my full checkup and the doctor who did my endoscopy is the bariatric surgeon. I did the endo because of my acid reflux and hiatal hernia that I have been dealing with for the past 10 years. His office kept calling me about a consultation and finally I decided to go to hear what he had to say, not totally convinced that this was something that I was going to do -- thus his recommendation for the by-pass; my friend is getting the sleeve.

She has only told one family member and I have told 2 other close friends (one a retired RN) and both are supportive, but we roll that way.

I haven't decided if I will use my sick leave; I think that I will work thru the holidays and take my vacay in January if that is when my surgery is approved or I may take a combo of sick and vacay because I have excess leave.

Other than that, I will tell a few others eventually... or not. Still debating whether I will tell my sis pre-op or not.

I figured that now is the time for me while my health is still reasonably well, but I'm having increasing difficulty with knees and feet and I'm sick of the reflux and HBP. I want to retire at goal weight.

[GreenTealael 24,852]

I originally only told 2 proxies for emergency purposes. I didn't want the spectacle, advice, stories or questions. I still will not tell people that are relatively close to me but strangers... No problem. Go figure!

It was really hard at first to keep the rapid loss a secret (I very very slowy worked off 30 lbs on my own over 3yrs) but I did by tell people about my lifestyle changes (walking for exercise, dietary changes) so in part I was tell the truth.

Later I decided to tell my Mum because I believed she deserved the truth about her baby's health. She had guessed all along bit chose to say nothing. She's the real MVP 🏆

Most people will speculate any way. Do what you are most comfortable with and that may evolve over time. Good Luck 💙

[AZhiker 2,251]

Told only my husband, my kids, my brother, and 1 trusted co-worker who helped by trading some work days with me so I could get enough time off. There are some hospital employees who know because of my required follow ups (lab), but no one else - not even my parents. I just did not want to deal with judgement and everyone's opinions.

When asked how I lost the weight, I say, "This is what I am doing (present tense):" and then go into my mantra about healthy eating and exercise. Honestly, many people have asked, but they have all been moderately overweight - not morbidly obese. What I tell them about diet and exercise is exactly what they should be doing, as they are not candidates for surgery anyway. NO morbidly obese people have ever asked at all. So I don't think I am being dishonest. I have never been asked point blank about whether or not I had surgery. And interestingly, of all the people who have asked, I have not seen a single one actually change their lifestyle. It really does take commitment and maybe hitting the bottom before real change happens.