Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Loose skin and sex



Recommended Posts

I’ve lost 145lbs to date and feel great. I’m also single for the first time in my life, and have been on the dating scene for about a year.
Dating has been a struggle because I am very open with my journey. I have lots of before and after Instagram pics and talk about it frequently. Weight loss is definitely my biggest personal accomplishment. It’s always a tipping point when I’m out with someone for the first time, trying to explain it to people who haven’t been or knows anyone who has gone through it.
The loose skin has become a mental block. I feel like I look one way fully clothed and it’s a “surprise” when things take a sexual turn. I’m very self conscious about it. Most people I’ve been with don’t seem to care or at least pretend that they don’t. But I can’t help but feel like I’m in a “fraudulent package” if that makes sense.
Anyone else feel this way?

image-0.00202655792236328.jpg

image-0.00298023223876953.jpg

image-0.00095367431640625.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we are all a lot more self critical then anyone else would be. No one is perfect when naked, not even models. So any reasonable man is not going to expect perfection once you're undressed.

I know it is cliche, but self confidence goes a long way. If you are comfortable, and feel sexy and desirable, you will absolutely project that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just make sure he's got other things to focus on! kwim? 😁

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m single too & will start dating again after I’ve lost a certain amount of weight. I have definitely considered all the things you’ve said. Good Lingerie for me has always been a help. Pretty teddy that covers the stomach

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, sillykitty said:

I think we are all a lot more self critical then anyone else would be. No one is perfect when naked, not even models. So any reasonable man is not going to expect perfection once you're undressed.

I know it is cliche, but self confidence goes a long way. If you are comfortable, and feel sexy and desirable, you will absolutely project that.

This.

Just think of how far you've come in your journey. Feel confident that you are sexy (which is sooooo much more than physical) and desirable (it wouldn't turn sexual if you weren't) and enjoy your new body. I bet you're able to be much more active than when you were heavier. I know my partner is loving that I'm now so much more agile 🤭

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve lost 145lbs to date and feel great. I’m also single for the first time in my life, and have been on the dating scene for about a year.
Dating has been a struggle because I am very open with my journey. I have lots of before and after Instagram pics and talk about it frequently. Weight loss is definitely my biggest personal accomplishment. It’s always a tipping point when I’m out with someone for the first time, trying to explain it to people who haven’t been or knows anyone who has gone through it.
The loose skin has become a mental block. I feel like I look one way fully clothed and it’s a “surprise” when things take a sexual turn. I’m very self conscious about it. Most people I’ve been with don’t seem to care or at least pretend that they don’t. But I can’t help but feel like I’m in a “fraudulent package” if that makes sense.
Anyone else feel this way?
image-0.00202655792236328.thumb.jpg.ad3e9bdf17266e6d36e18ec2e56f67ed.jpg
image-0.00298023223876953.thumb.jpg.7308371e650c3878d4d0732363c56691.jpg
image-0.00095367431640625.thumb.jpg.d134fa064b949705f00bc8ba77b69533.jpg
Yes!!!! I 100% know that feeling. I have also never had anyone say anything. I could have an amazing night clothed then when things get intimate I get so anxious and self conscious. Then nothing is said, everything is fine...... but the thought is still in my head! I think if I wont hear from him again because he was grossed out or wonder if he would tell others.
Like I said it's never happened and I'm aware it's all in my head but that awareness doesnt just make it go away. I'm still a work in progress!

Sent from my SM-G975U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

MALE PERSPECTIVE ? IM NOT LOOKING AT SOME LOOSE SKIN AND TUMMY IF WE HAVE MADE IT TO NO CLOTHES

AT LEAST I BETTER NOT BE IF THAT IS WHAT IM LOOKING AT THEN THIS IS NOT GONNA END WELL FOR EITHER OF US YOU LOOK AMAZING KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK !! WE ALL HAVE OUR BODY FAULTS WEAR THOSE FAULTS LIKE BATTLE SCARS AND EMBRACE THE HELL OUT OF IT LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME AND BE PROUD OF YOU !!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm right there with you. I *HATE* the extra skin... that's all I can see and it grosses me out... I love how I look dressed... and I've even started wearing tank tops and much more fitted clothing... but naked... BLAH so gross!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 08/29/2019 at 04:32, RuthD said:

I feel exactly the same way. I know it is a confidence thing etc. but so far I cannot overcome it so I just avoid dating in general

Don’t hold yourself back from living life to the fullest. I guarantee you your loose skin is a FAR bigger deal to you, than anyone you might meet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok as a guy, ive gotten a few comments:

1.) the skin isn’t as bad. Women tend to be more forgiving than men which is lame as f**k nowadays

2.) Remember men, your penis gets bigger with weight loss 😂 so make use of it ;)

3.) no clothes, no problem. You’re past the hard part :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, I've had a recent "interaction" with a friend of my wife and I's. I was pretty up front with my skin... and it wasn't an issue at all. By the time you get to the "gear down" portion of the evening, your play date has already felt your skin, through clothing or not... they know what they are dealing with, at least to some extent. And yes... men regain length as the Panniculus fat shrinks.

So, I still hate the way I look naked. But, I try not to let it bother me too much and stop focusing on what I look like and start focusing on what your play date looks like, etc. Keep your focus on them and ignore yourself. It'll be ok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×