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Loose skin and sex



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I’ve lost 145lbs to date and feel great. I’m also single for the first time in my life, and have been on the dating scene for about a year.
Dating has been a struggle because I am very open with my journey. I have lots of before and after Instagram pics and talk about it frequently. Weight loss is definitely my biggest personal accomplishment. It’s always a tipping point when I’m out with someone for the first time, trying to explain it to people who haven’t been or knows anyone who has gone through it.
The loose skin has become a mental block. I feel like I look one way fully clothed and it’s a “surprise” when things take a sexual turn. I’m very self conscious about it. Most people I’ve been with don’t seem to care or at least pretend that they don’t. But I can’t help but feel like I’m in a “fraudulent package” if that makes sense.
Anyone else feel this way?

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I think we are all a lot more self critical then anyone else would be. No one is perfect when naked, not even models. So any reasonable man is not going to expect perfection once you're undressed.

I know it is cliche, but self confidence goes a long way. If you are comfortable, and feel sexy and desirable, you will absolutely project that.

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I’m single too & will start dating again after I’ve lost a certain amount of weight. I have definitely considered all the things you’ve said. Good Lingerie for me has always been a help. Pretty teddy that covers the stomach

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19 hours ago, sillykitty said:

I think we are all a lot more self critical then anyone else would be. No one is perfect when naked, not even models. So any reasonable man is not going to expect perfection once you're undressed.

I know it is cliche, but self confidence goes a long way. If you are comfortable, and feel sexy and desirable, you will absolutely project that.

This.

Just think of how far you've come in your journey. Feel confident that you are sexy (which is sooooo much more than physical) and desirable (it wouldn't turn sexual if you weren't) and enjoy your new body. I bet you're able to be much more active than when you were heavier. I know my partner is loving that I'm now so much more agile 🤭

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I’ve lost 145lbs to date and feel great. I’m also single for the first time in my life, and have been on the dating scene for about a year.
Dating has been a struggle because I am very open with my journey. I have lots of before and after Instagram pics and talk about it frequently. Weight loss is definitely my biggest personal accomplishment. It’s always a tipping point when I’m out with someone for the first time, trying to explain it to people who haven’t been or knows anyone who has gone through it.
The loose skin has become a mental block. I feel like I look one way fully clothed and it’s a “surprise” when things take a sexual turn. I’m very self conscious about it. Most people I’ve been with don’t seem to care or at least pretend that they don’t. But I can’t help but feel like I’m in a “fraudulent package” if that makes sense.
Anyone else feel this way?
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Yes!!!! I 100% know that feeling. I have also never had anyone say anything. I could have an amazing night clothed then when things get intimate I get so anxious and self conscious. Then nothing is said, everything is fine...... but the thought is still in my head! I think if I wont hear from him again because he was grossed out or wonder if he would tell others.
Like I said it's never happened and I'm aware it's all in my head but that awareness doesnt just make it go away. I'm still a work in progress!

Sent from my SM-G975U using BariatricPal mobile app

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MALE PERSPECTIVE ? IM NOT LOOKING AT SOME LOOSE SKIN AND TUMMY IF WE HAVE MADE IT TO NO CLOTHES

AT LEAST I BETTER NOT BE IF THAT IS WHAT IM LOOKING AT THEN THIS IS NOT GONNA END WELL FOR EITHER OF US YOU LOOK AMAZING KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK !! WE ALL HAVE OUR BODY FAULTS WEAR THOSE FAULTS LIKE BATTLE SCARS AND EMBRACE THE HELL OUT OF IT LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME AND BE PROUD OF YOU !!!

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I'm right there with you. I *HATE* the extra skin... that's all I can see and it grosses me out... I love how I look dressed... and I've even started wearing tank tops and much more fitted clothing... but naked... BLAH so gross!!

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On 08/29/2019 at 04:32, RuthD said:

I feel exactly the same way. I know it is a confidence thing etc. but so far I cannot overcome it so I just avoid dating in general

Don’t hold yourself back from living life to the fullest. I guarantee you your loose skin is a FAR bigger deal to you, than anyone you might meet.

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Ok as a guy, ive gotten a few comments:

1.) the skin isn’t as bad. Women tend to be more forgiving than men which is lame as f**k nowadays

2.) Remember men, your penis gets bigger with weight loss 😂 so make use of it ;)

3.) no clothes, no problem. You’re past the hard part :)

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So, I've had a recent "interaction" with a friend of my wife and I's. I was pretty up front with my skin... and it wasn't an issue at all. By the time you get to the "gear down" portion of the evening, your play date has already felt your skin, through clothing or not... they know what they are dealing with, at least to some extent. And yes... men regain length as the Panniculus fat shrinks.

So, I still hate the way I look naked. But, I try not to let it bother me too much and stop focusing on what I look like and start focusing on what your play date looks like, etc. Keep your focus on them and ignore yourself. It'll be ok.

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