Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Talking about WLS with children



Recommended Posts

Hi! I’m planning to have a RNY and I have two “tween” sons. How did you talk to them about your surgery? Both boys are stick thin (their dad’s genes are the dominant ones!). I’m a bit worried, as the younger one had a number of medical issues when he was younger and is rather terrified of doctors.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this a great opportunity for you to model focusing on HEALTH (vs weight). I have 2 preschool sons- who also seem to have their daddys' thin genes- so I've talked to them about it in much more simple terms obviously, but I'm focusing on health and what I will be able to do soon, and not even mentioning weight unless/until they ask about that specifically. Even if they are thin, their bodies are changing, and there is just as much pull toward unhealthy habits even if their bodies don't respond as ours do.

As for your younger son, you showing your confidence and trust in the doctors could do a lot for helping him through his fear. Just respond to any of his anxiety with kindness and tenderness. ❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My girls were 13 and 16 when I had my VSG. They had watched me struggle with my weight for years. I explained simply what the surgery was, why I was having it (to be healthy and be there to see them grow up, get married and have kids if that's what they choose), to be able to enjoy things with them that I couldn't and to try to put off having my knees replaced. (They knew very clearly about my history of knee issues.)

There were some questions. One was very supportive, the other not as much, but that has more to do with their personality types.

You have to approach them in a way that works for them given their fears/concerns. I left plenty of time for them to ask questions or not. My girls were mostly concerned about the actual surgical procedure and anesthesia for me, but in large part that's because I've handled quite a few medical malpractice cases in my day and they would hear me talk about those issues. But they also know as a result I'm very picky about what doctors and hospitals treat me! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a 10 and 13 year old. They know I couldn't do a lot of the things they wanted me to do with them in regards to physical activity. Since the surgery and now that I'm down about 100lbs, I'm doing so much more. I kept repeating the same thing before the procedure that I'm doing this so I can be around for them and so I can do things with them. Now the proof is in the pudding as they say and I'm owning up to it and they were so happy the first time I got on an amusement park ride with them because I could instead of watching from the sidelines as I did the first 10 and 13 years of their lives.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, I didn’t tell my kids. Still haven’t. I just felt like putting my issues on them wasn’t appropriate at the time. I do model a new healthy lifestyle and they are participants, however I felt like my obesity had a lot more emotional baggage then they needed to be aware of. Each situation is different and specific to the person and the child

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great topic! I struggled with this as well, but my kids are only 6 and 8. I have told them I’m having surgery for my health, less back pain, and to help me be able to do more with them. They haven’t asked for anything more specific, but as they get older I will share more with them if they ask. The only question I got from them is “will I be able to jump on the trampoline with them after my surgery?” 😄

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate all of the varying perspectives.

Our family does family dinners and talks frequently about the need to eat healthy meals (due to younger kiddo’s past challenges). I’ll need to start distinguishing between adults and kids — I certainly don’t need as much fuel as tween/teen boys. 🙂 I’ll also need to talk to hubby about our rule that we sit at the table together until everyone is done eating. It sounds like it will take me a while to eat.

Also, I wonder if I can ship the kiddos to my sister’s for a few days after the surgery until I’m feeling a bit better? It might make the process less scary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I brought my teenage son to my orientation and he was very supportive all the way through. He said it's scary but if it's going to make you happy I'm on board. The other kids are young and probably won't remember I was ever big. I hope...but there is pictures to remind them. My husband and kids are my closest trusted people in the world and their support has been everything to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe everything you will learn to do with healthy eating Portion Control should be passed onto them there's no reason for children to be obese it is down to the parents to model the good behavior

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×