Struggling with my decision

[CrystalV 25]

I am not dealing well with this choice I have made. I regret having this surgery and I can not move past it. I wished I would have done more in depth research and spoke with a better therapist before hand. I wished I would have tried harder on my diet. So many more “I wishes” that I can’t get over.

[Briswife15 889]

Yes, you posted this in your "regret" post. Things will get better, I promise. It is not an "easy" way out, and there are struggles which are real. What exactly are you upset about? The first few weeks can be emotional. Think of the reasons why you don't want to be morbidly obese anymore. Think of all the wonderful things you will gain from losing weight. You can get through this!

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Claudine J. 13]

Sorry to hear that! When was your surgery? If it was only recently I would say give it more time, because the first few weeks are difficult.

[CrystalV 25]

1 minute ago, Briswife15 said:

Yes, you posted this in your "regret" post. Things will get better, I promise. It is not an "easy" way out, and there are struggles which are real. What exactly are you upset about? The first few weeks can be emotional. Think of the reasons why you don't want to be morbidly obese anymore. Think of all the wonderful things you will gain from losing weight. You can get through this!

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

I did not have any prior concerns going into the surgery. Maybe that’s why I’m so frustrated with the way I feel?! I had BMI of 41 exercising regularly not drinking sodas or alcohol. Now, I feel like I should have tried harder to lose it with out this surgery.

[CrystalV 25]

2 minutes ago, Claudine J. said:

Sorry to hear that! When was your surgery? If it was only recently I would say give it more time, because the first few weeks are difficult.

I had surgery on 6/26/19. I woke up and immediately regretted it and can’t move on from it.

[catwoman7 10,846]

if you're early out, that is a common feeling that usually passes fairly quickly. If you're further out, you might want to consider therapy. It's no fun feeling that way!

[CrystalV 25]

Just now, catwoman7 said:

if you're early out, that is a common feeling that usually passes fairly quickly. If you're further out, you might want to consider therapy. It's no fun feeling that way!

Yes, I am a week out. I am going next week to speak with a therapist and going to support group.

[catwoman7 10,846]

1 minute ago, CrystalV said:

I had surgery on 6/26/19. I woke up and immediately regretted it and can’t move on from it.

we must have been posting at the exact same time. You're still VERY early out. What you're feeling is very common and usually passes pretty quickly. I had the same thoughts early out, but not for long. I had to remind myself that I'd tried to lose weight many, many, MANY times and it'd always come back. I came to the realization that the only way to permanently deal with the problem was WLS. I'm really glad I had it - although the first couple of weeks, I felt the same as you do. It's very common.

[CrystalV 25]

Just now, catwoman7 said:

we must have been posting at the exact same time. You're still VERY early out. What you're feeling is very common and usually passes pretty quickly. I had the same thoughts early out, but not for long. I had to remind myself that I'd tried to lose weight many, many, MANY times and it'd always come back. I came to the realization that the only way to permanently deal with the problem was WLS. I'm really glad I had it - although the first couple of weeks, I felt the same as you do. It's very common.

I am trying so hard to get past thirds negative feelings.

[CrystalV 25]

Just now, CrystalV said:

I am trying so hard to get past thirds negative feelings.

*these

[Claudine J. 13]

On 07/04/2019 at 20:05, CrystalV said:

I had surgery on 6/26/19. I woke up and immediately regretted it and can’t move on from it.

Okay, that is very recently and I understand that you might have these feelings. But once you can eat some proper healthy food again and you start losing weight, you might feel a lot better emotionally too. It is a huge decision to have this surgery, but I honestly think those first few weeks are extremely tough.

I hope in time you come to terms with the decision you have made.

[CrystalV 25]

2 minutes ago, Claudine J. said:

Okay, that is very recently and I understand that you might have these feelings. But once you can eat some proper healthy food again and you start losing weight, you might feel a lot better emotionally too. It is a huge decision to have this surgery, but I honestly think those first few weeks are extremely tough.

I hope in time you come to terms with the decision you have made.

I truly hope so. I have wanted weight loss surgery for as long as I can remember. This has taken me by such shock that I feel this way.

[notmyname 591]

I agree with others that since you're in the early weeks, give it time. A lot of folks feel pretty raw the first few weeks after surgery and begin to really love their decision later.

But, I've also had several complications (pretty rare) and at 8 months out still regret the surgery. I've had to start seeing a therapist (she specializes in weight issues, including bariatric surgery) because even though I'm not sure I'll ever feel good about my decision, it is not good for my mind to feel this bad about it all the time. It is helping. It isn't too late to see a therapist to talk through this. I'm working on a lot of reframing, and it is slowly helping. My WLS nurse keeps telling me that how I feel is not my life - and she's right. I feel infinitely better now than I did when the complications first showed up. Good luck.

[froufrou 678]

Any surgery can make you feel this way - the anaesthetic in your system can make you feel depressed. Give it some time for your body to adjust... I'm sure you will feel better soon.

[Frustr8 7,886]

And some days I sing along IS THAT ALL THERE IS? but bye and bye it either gets better or you resign yourself and try to make the best of it all. Do I wish I could go back? Well occasionally, but then I remember I requested THIS be done, there is truly no going back, I will be internally un- normal, if I could request Dr Needleman rejoibg the 2 segments of my stomach, would I want that? 2. It is technically more difficult, might take a whole morning to micro- surgery me back, would he be willing to invest that much,of his working day just because my bravery no longer is working? 3. How Do I know the complications wouldn't outweigh any benefits? 4. I trusted in the Magic Of Diets to save me, at 365+ pounds, Magic was failing ME! And 5th and probably most important, what assurance at 73 that I would even survive the surgery? Yeah, it most certainly would have to be "Open", he would need to see exactly WHAT he was doing, can't trust robots and OR monitors to do it all. I had a first cousin die 3 years ago in May on the OR table at the Cleveland Clinic. Turned out she had previously undiagnosed Esophageal Cancer but we still miss her so much, have had difficulty understanding as a family why we had to give up our June- Ellen to the monster Cancer is. Granted many of my kinfolk folk I wouldn't go out of my way to see, but doit have enough self- centered b***s to do this to them? So I keep on keeping on, they do say I am making strides toward final healing, I want it NOW, like average Americans my patience is not strong but I have to hope for a brighter, more sunny day at the end! And I am healthier, thinner, perhaps less ugly to look at. Is Joy, Happiness and satisfaction Over-rated? I'm 73, I have more thinking and psychological reasoning time than most people , some days it seems like all I still have.👈😪👉😧