Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Has anyone kept your surgery a secret? I am pre-op and at this point, I don't want to have to explain WHY to everyone. I am also scared of being judged every time I eat in a social setting. What if I fail and have a regain, I can only imagine the judgment there. If you had it to do over again, would you tell people about the surgery, or not?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well,well,welll.. .I decided to tell EVERYONE that I was having the gastric sleeve surgery & every single day someone ask -- how much I've loss or have smart comments like-- well if you would have exercised first, then you wouldn't have needed the surgery. Every day I want to tell someone to mind the business that pays them. Lol

I've only loss 15lbs

SW 259

CW 244

Surgery date April 25th

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve always been an open book and that certainly was the case with my surgery.. there have been a few naysayers and some great supporters. In the end I have never been one to be successful or enjoy keeping things secret.. it’s hard to keep up just like a lie and it kind of feels like lying.. I also feel that telling those around me now gave me the extra incentive to prove em all wrong . That accountability will help me I believe whole heartedly.. So, do I wish everyone thought I did it without surgery, sure, but I feel I can be an example of how surgery can work and I’m proud of my choice.. with this said , I TOTALLY understand anyone who chooses to keep it to themselves. In some way i wish I was more of a private person .. it is what it is!!!

Edited by Carrot64

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I saw someone post once, "No one asked me the details about my weight gain or how I got there, so they don't need to know the details of my weight loss or how I'm getting there" LOL!

For me only my immediate family know as well as 3 close friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've told my husband (obviously) and my sister. I will tell my Grandma when I get approved. That's all I'm planning to tell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want it to be the topic of all my conversations. I don't want anyone to think they have to do anything different for me because my requirements are different. And I didn't want anyone to try to talk me out of it or say derogatory things about it. It was already bad enough that people would tell me I was fat and needed to lose weight- as if I didn't know. That would have given them an excuse o bring it up.

Eventually, I had to tell my sister-in-law because we couldn't care for my mother-in-law that weekend so I thought she needed to know. When I told her she said, "I know. my husband told me. and my mother-in-law told him. " Turns out my husband had already blabbed it to his mother who can't keep a secret or even remember that something is secret. My husband just said, oh I didn't know you didn't want anyone to know. :(

after surgery, my M-I-L kept asking "can you eat this?" several times a day. that got old fast.

I still haven't told any of my friends except for one because we've been through a lot together.

if people ask, I say I'm seeing a nutritionist (which they seem to accept) and if they keep asking I say its similar to keto- because it sort of is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LaShunn, I am not sleeved yet, but I would be tickled to death to lose 15 pounds in 2 months. Do not get down or discouraged. I have read so many posts of people that got so discouraged and then overnight lost 5-6 lbs. I have heard if you lose slower you have less risk of losing your hair, so that's a plus, lol. The main reason I don't want to tell are my mom and my kids. My mom is in very poor health.. she would discourage me from doing this and I don't want to worry her. My two older kids are both overweight and can't afford the surgery, so I want to be a good role model for them by eating healthy in hopes that they will see my progress and follow. My daughter is 21, has PCOS and Psoriatic arthritis. She tries so hard to lose weight but just hasn't been successful. I definitely don't like lying. I talked about this on my psych visit and he said, You aren't lying! You tell them you are doing it for your health. You are eating healthy, low carb and exercising which all will be the truth. But, I would also love to share this wealth of knowledge I have learned with overweight friends that would benefit greatly from the surgery, so I have mixed feelings. I already had two people yesterday at the heart clinic that asked why I was getting the surgery. I was not expecting it there for sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL Ren, I have only told my husband, because I need him to go with me. We shall see if he can keep it quiet....he BETTER!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone, new here. My surgery was on 5-9-19 and I didn’t want many people to know because I got a lot of “you don’t need the surgery” so I only told a few close family & friends and my boss. But I complications during my surgery and they had to go back into emergency surgery on me and my friend that went with me told our other friends and when I got back I it seemed like everyone knew lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Jemma23 said:

Has anyone kept your surgery a secret? I am pre-op and at this point, I don't want to have to explain WHY to everyone. I am also scared of being judged every time I eat in a social setting. What if I fail and have a regain, I can only imagine the judgment there. If you had it to do over again, would you tell people about the surgery, or not?

Choose who you disclose your medical information with. You know who is supportive and respectful. It’s a choice to tell people that are genuinely interested. Skip telling judmental people.

Can you keep it a secret? You can’t hide rapid weight loss. People will talk behind your back, ask blunt questions and speculate surgery. Don’t invest your time trying to educate people that are negative about your choices in life. You owe no one an explanation.

After goal, conversations no longer revolve around your weight loss. It’s a fantastic feeling

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am suppose to have surgery 7/8/19 I only told my husband. Maybe after surgery I will let my sister and close friends know? Idk, but I made up my mind and don’t want anyone talking me out of it. Do what you feel is best for you. Not anyone’s business about your personal doctor appts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this is a personnel choice tell or not your choice i did after it was done before i told only my immediate family no one else knew not even work tell it was done

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So far I’ve decided not to tell I was approved twice and they were canceled because I had a seizure the week before 😞! The one person I did bring it up to said surgery is not the answer just eat better and exercise..... she doesn’t have 210 lbs to lose ☹️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maggie, how do you feel about having the surgery after having complications? Any regrets? I hope all is better now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes ma’am, every thing is good now. I feel fine, they took very good care of me! No regrets, I just wish they would of told me my hemoglobin was low before they did the surgery and I would of thinks them to hold off on the surgery and let me get cleared by my dr again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×