Telling family, friends, work, etc.

[Tlily730 5]

I know this topic has probably been talked to death, but I’m super concerned about how to tell my friends and family and coworkers.

i currently rent a room from my parents. It works out well, and we act as roommates opposed to parent-child. My mom and are are really close, and honestly no topic has ever really been off limits for us. Part of me feels like I can tell her, but it’s her opinion I care most about, so I think that’s why it makes me nervous.

My dad and I are hot and cold, plus he works in medical malpractice and his favorite thing to do is tell me horror stories of anything I’m interested in. So I don’t really want to tell him but I feel like if I tell my mom, she’ll want to tell him.

i feel like I don’t need to tell many friends, as we all work different work schedules (full time 9-5 vs nigh shift nurse vs part time work vs full time mom), so I could use our schedules as an excuse as to why I can’t hang out during my recovery.

I just started a new job a few months ago, it’s pretty sedentary, so I feel like if I said I need to take time off for medical reasons, no one would question it. I’m thinking of just saying I’m having my gall bladder removed or like a laparoscopic surgery (I have endometriosis so that isn’t too far fetched).

Abyway, how did telling your people work out?

[bariutiful 72]

I was so excited to finally change my life for the better, I was excited that this was going to help me feel better and finally not feel sick all the time anymore .. I told all my immediate family and mostly all other family members and friends .. most of them were and are super supportive and always cheering me on .. and there are some that didn’t agree with my decision and also said certain unpleasant comments .. honestly, I wouldn’t change it because the support and positive comments out way the negative.. also I’ve inspired people in different ways .. I always see it as I don’t care what people say because at the end of the day I’m doing it for me and my health I am choosing to live! It takes courage and strength to do this and we have that .. but don’t feel that you have to tell anyone because you don’t owe no explanation to no one.. always do whatever is going to make you happy

[MrsGamgee 756]

I have been open about WLS from the moment I made my decision. I explained why it was important for my health and what my motivations were (to kick type 2 diabetes to the curb and to be able to survive to see my wee-lings graduate and marry someday). Almost all people in my life have been immensely supportive and have been cheering me on through the prep and surgery process. A few have expressed concern or doubt, but I've taken those opportunities to educate them. And ultimately I reminded them that this is my body, my choice. People don't question a cancer patient undergoing chemo or radiation, and that's putting poison in their body (on a most basic level). This surgery is just as life saving.

Ultimately it's your choice to tell or not. I'll leave you with one final thought. Everything will likely go very well for you, but heaven forbid you are in the very small percentage of people who have complications... would you want to walk through that alone? Who would you want at your side?

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[catwoman7 10,845]

my immediate family knew as well as a few close friends, but that's about it. I became slightly more open about it as time went on, but it's still something I don't share with everyone.

[GradyCat 3,692]

I didn't tell anybody. I still haven't told anybody. A few people have asked "How are you losing your weight?" and I just shrug it off or say, honestly, "Diet and exercise"

[Farmer78! 4]

Only my husband and children knew from beginning. Ibtold my co-workers about a week before my leave. Which they were ALL very supportive. I get it, its hard. Some ppl tend to judge and think its the "easy way out" but trust and believe there is nothing easy about this process.

Go on your own time

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[tashie123 46]

I am pretty open about it also. Most of my family and friends realized that I have worked VERY hard throughout with minimal results. If someone does not understand my decision then just be it. Weight loss surgery is a tool and is NOT easy. You still have to control your cravings and eat healthy. You still have to workout. So, the decision is yours. Also, if my journey can help someone, then why not?

[Stitches78 65]

My wife went with me to the first visit with the surgeon. My parents hated the idea, but my mom is one of those people who think they know more about medicine that doctors. In fact, when I told her, she said something like "well maybe it's X Y or Z?" I told her I was tested for those things and she said that the doctors were all wrong. Other than that, I've told my close my close friends, but nobody else. At work I was vague as to why I was going to be gone for 2 weeks.

[tashie123 46]

5 minutes ago, Stitches78 said:

My wife went with me to the first visit with the surgeon. My parents hated the idea, but my mom is one of those people who think they know more about medicine that doctors. In fact, when I told her, she said something like "well maybe it's X Y or Z?" I told her I was tested for those things and she said that the doctors were all wrong. Other than that, I've told my close my close friends, but nobody else. At work I was vague as to why I was going to be gone for 2 weeks.

Sometimes it is hard for people to understand. The concept of surgery itself scares people. I have heard people say things like you can just diet. However, my parents were supportive. They have seen me struggle and try my best. I think surgery was the best decision I have ever made. I told my direct team at work also. It is nice when people notice changes!

[Stitches78 65]

On 5/21/2019 at 10:38 AM, tashie123 said:

Sometimes it is hard for people to understand. The concept of surgery itself scares people. I have heard people say things like you can just diet. However, my parents were supportive. They have seen me struggle and try my best. I think surgery was the best decision I have ever made. I told my direct team at work also. It is nice when people notice changes!

My mom is under the impression it's just a quick fix. She doesn't seem to understand the amount of work that goes into it. Oh well, it's happening either way.

[ypease 177]

I have only discussed it with my husband and on these blogs. I really believe it's no one else's business. All anyone will be told is that i"m going to Mexico for a week in October.

[Tlily730 5]

Update: I told my mom, since I want her to be my companion when I go to OCC.

She reacted well, I was worried she’d be judgmental. I made it clear that this was something I was going to do and that while I do care what she thinks, it’s something I’m doing regardless. She’s worried for me because it’s surgery, but it’s been positive, and she thanked me for confiding in her.

[JanJan19 205]

On 5/20/2019 at 10:04 PM, morgmorgs said:

I know this topic has probably been talked to death, but I’m super concerned about how to tell my friends and family and coworkers.

i currently rent a room from my parents. It works out well, and we act as roommates opposed to parent-child. My mom and are are really close, and honestly no topic has ever really been off limits for us. Part of me feels like I can tell her, but it’s her opinion I care most about, so I think that’s why it makes me nervous.

My dad and I are hot and cold, plus he works in medical malpractice and his favorite thing to do is tell me horror stories of anything I’m interested in. So I don’t really want to tell him but I feel like if I tell my mom, she’ll want to tell him.

i feel like I don’t need to tell many friends, as we all work different work schedules (full time 9-5 vs nigh shift nurse vs part time work vs full time mom), so I could use our schedules as an excuse as to why I can’t hang out during my recovery.

I just started a new job a few months ago, it’s pretty sedentary, so I feel like if I said I need to take time off for medical reasons, no one would question it. I’m thinking of just saying I’m having my gall bladder removed or like a laparoscopic surgery (I have endometriosis so that isn’t too far fetched).

Abyway, how did telling your people work out?

I've told almost no one. I needed to tell at least one person that could drive me home because they will not let you cab yourself home from the hospital, so I did choose to tell my mom & she's been supportive. I honestly went into this thinking "I just need a ride home from the hospital, thanks" but I'll tell you that hospital stay was rough & I was glad to have her there. I ended up wanting her to stay much longer the day of surgery than I thought, and I wanted her back a the hospital the next day earlier than I'd thought. And I really didn't want her to do much, just sit there, which probably sounds stupid. When you feel that crap it was just nice having her on the couch nearby & she could hand me things a few times. My surgery was Thursday, 4 days ago. She drove me home on Friday & has stopped in to see me on Saturday & Sunday, see if I needed anything. And it's not like I needed much, but for example on Friday she drove me home, I asked her to stay while I took a shower. I didn't need help in the shower or getting dressed after, I just wanted to know she was here JUST IN CASE I slipped or passed out or who knows. So I guess, if you can tell your mom you might want to. You might need her help more than you think that first couple days.

[JanJan19 205]

2 hours ago, morgmorgs said:

Update: I told my mom, since I want her to be my companion when I go to OCC.

She reacted well, I was worried she’d be judgmental. I made it clear that this was something I was going to do and that while I do care what she thinks, it’s something I’m doing regardless. She’s worried for me because it’s surgery, but it’s been positive, and she thanked me for confiding in her.

I'm so glad. Encourage her to bring books & things to entertain herself. And a bottle of Water or something for herself as the hospital won't be bringing you anything. My mom felt bad having water in front of me because I wasn't allowed but I encouraged her not to feel bad. I was so freaking thirsty until the next day when they allowed liquids, I wouldn't want a visitor sitting there thirsty on my behalf! I wasn't really interested in talking or watching TV the day of surgery. I was nauseous on and off and uncomfortable, just wanted her nearby.

[TracyS 62]

I know this topic has probably been talked to death, but I’m super concerned about how to tell my friends and family and coworkers.

i currently rent a room from my parents. It works out well, and we act as roommates opposed to parent-child. My mom and are are really close, and honestly no topic has ever really been off limits for us. Part of me feels like I can tell her, but it’s her opinion I care most about, so I think that’s why it makes me nervous.

My dad and I are hot and cold, plus he works in medical malpractice and his favorite thing to do is tell me horror stories of anything I’m interested in. So I don’t really want to tell him but I feel like if I tell my mom, she’ll want to tell him.

i feel like I don’t need to tell many friends, as we all work different work schedules (full time 9-5 vs nigh shift nurse vs part time work vs full time mom), so I could use our schedules as an excuse as to why I can’t hang out during my recovery.

I just started a new job a few months ago, it’s pretty sedentary, so I feel like if I said I need to take time off for medical reasons, no one would question it. I’m thinking of just saying I’m having my gall bladder removed or like a laparoscopic surgery (I have endometriosis so that isn’t too far fetched).

Abyway, how did telling your people work out?

I told my friends, pit it on Facebook and my work. Everyone has been super supportive.

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