Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Hijacking a Group Session



Recommended Posts

The other day I attended my monthly group meeting that my surgeons office offers. Any new prospective candidate for WLS has to attend one meeting as per the surgeon. I myself found my first meeting to be very informative as I was allowed to ask the veterans questions that I had about the procedure, life after and how they felt about their experiences. One reason I go to the meetings is to share my experiences and to answer any questions the prospective surgery candidates have. The group is strong with veterans and it runs smooth as everyone is polite and will allow for a cross flow of opinions and experiences.

My last meeting was attended by a woman who had WLS 10 years ago and had a 85lb regain. With the help of the surgeons office she lost the excess weight and has a good story to tell. (This was the first time in 2 yrs that I've been attending these meetings that she has attended) She not only gave us the long version of her story but when the prospective candidates asked a question she went into long winded answers. This of course cut the time others could have spoke and to offer their prospectives. It got to the point where one of the veterans put his hands to his head as to simulate shooting himself. She still didn't get the message. Finally, one other veteran gave the nurse practitioner who runs the meeting the "evil eye" and for a short time, decorum was back. Of course with this woman it only lasted a few minutes.

It should be understood, that when attending a group meeting it is important to get as many people into the conversation as possible to get the best benefit from the meeting. By having one person dominate the meeting it not only limits the knowledge gained it also makes those attending frustrated that their voices cannot be heard. After the meeting a few of us spoke to the nurse practitioner and said that if this continues into future meetings we will not be attending and that it was her responsibility to monitor the meeting so this does not happen again. Let's see if this woman comes back next month and if so, lets see if she doesn't monopolize the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my! Id have a hard time wanting to return every month if I knew I had to put up with a personality like that! Maybe they need a pit orchestra like at the Oscars when the speeches get too long winded! But more likely the NP needs to discreetly talk to her.

Edited by KCgirl061

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very rude and frustrating for not just the other veterans, but the newbies, as well. No matter how interesting her story, it is still just one person's story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same thing happened to one of my group meetings... Was the worst one I ever went to, same story a person who regained except they did not lose it ... yet.

Sometimes I think there should be the option to split off into subcategories for in person meetings too: one table for newbies, one for struggling post surgery, one for perfect stories (which seems to annoy everyone else) and definitely one for regain, etc etc

Dont let her steal your mojo - Go back anyway and moderate the **** out of that meeting 💜

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You've just reminded me that my surgeon's office offers group training sessions or lectures each month, but I haven't been to one yet. I might have to check one out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Danny Paul said:

The other day I attended my monthly group meeting that my surgeons office offers. Any new prospective candidate for WLS has to attend one meeting as per the surgeon. I myself found my first meeting to be very informative as I was allowed to ask the veterans questions that I had about the procedure, life after and how they felt about their experiences. One reason I go to the meetings is to share my experiences and to answer any questions the prospective surgery candidates have. The group is strong with veterans and it runs smooth as everyone is polite and will allow for a cross flow of opinions and experiences.

My last meeting was attended by a woman who had WLS 10 years ago and had a 85lb regain. With the help of the surgeons office she lost the excess weight and has a good story to tell. (This was the first time in 2 yrs that I've been attending these meetings that she has attended) She not only gave us the long version of her story but when the prospective candidates asked a question she went into long winded answers. This of course cut the time others could have spoke and to offer their prospectives. It got to the point where one of the veterans put his hands to his head as to simulate shooting himself. She still didn't get the message. Finally, one other veteran gave the nurse practitioner who runs the meeting the "evil eye" and for a short time, decorum was back. Of course with this woman it only lasted a few minutes.

It should be understood, that when attending a group meeting it is important to get as many people into the conversation as possible to get the best benefit from the meeting. By having one person dominate the meeting it not only limits the knowledge gained it also makes those attending frustrated that their voices cannot be heard. After the meeting a few of us spoke to the nurse practitioner and said that if this continues into future meetings we will not be attending and that it was her responsibility to monitor the meeting so this does not happen again. Let's see if this woman comes back next month and if so, lets see if she doesn't monopolize the time.

Our local meeting is open to anyone researching bariatrics. (referred by the surgeon’s office) We had a gentleman show that monopolized the conversation. The RN who facilitates our local group has no control over who shows up. The RN tried to redirect him several times. He was told him to keep questions brief and give others time to talk. He would not stop. Several people got up and walked out. He still had no clue.

Start your question or answer with “I will keep things brief to give others a chance to talk” Hopefully it will give her a hint.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, that's why I quit going to group meetings once I had gone to the required amount. In every meeting there was someone who dominated the conversation, and it was never in a way that benefited the entire group. It was always just about them. I get my support on this site now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's why some patients go to the meetings: they want to talk about themselves and their problems (or their success) because people outside of the WLS continuum don't listen to them (anymore).

Went to a meeting once and definitely had more than one WTF??-moment during this hour.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can’t go to my surgeons meeting. Chaotic is the only description that comes to mind. Typically, one person asks a question and 5-10 yell over each other to answer. Then when people get tired of waiting to ask their questions, people start asking questions at the same tome and there are people taking over each other in different parts of the room. The nutritionist that runs it doesn’t even try to reign it in. Two of the three I attended were dominated by the same person - the mother of a patient (first was before her surgery and second was after). Her daughter kept saying things like “mom, i already told you that”, but mom just kept on, saying things like “you’re my baby and you’ve put your life in danger and I need answers.”

I was so stressed out by the chaos I felt sick to my stomach. I signed an agreement with my surgeon that I’d go for 3 months post-op, but I didn’t. Luckily he was ok with that since I have a therapist who specializes in Bariatrics.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×