To tell or not to tell

[MrsGamgee 756]

I guess I'm a rarity, but I've told everyone in my life and talk about it regularly on FB. And so far the response has been overwhelmingly positive. There's really only one person in my life who's been negative (in a passive-aggressive way) and I know it's all about her worrying that I won't be the biggest in the family any longer.

[KCgirl061 1,529]

I didn't make it "Facebook public" but I haven't kept it a secret either. I've been very lucky I guess in that I haven't gotten any judgmental comments, only questions and congratulations.

[med28thmed 118]

On 4/27/2019 at 3:14 PM, big_ange said:

So I'm having the sleeve done in August.. I have only told a few select friends and family members I told them to keep it hush hush... I haven't even shared it on social media it's been a long year to get done with all my pre test and labs in order to get approved.. Did you guys tell your FB friends yes or no......

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J727AZ using BariatricPal mobile app

I only told a few of my friends and family. I planned on telling them on FB once I hit my 50 pound loss mark. I just didn't want to get judged, or hear negative comments. I had to concentrate on me, my weight loss journey, my health. Now that my 50 pounds is approaching, I'm changing my mind. I'll probably delay it another 20 pounds.

[koketika 33]

I've told immediate family and close friends. When people see me and they comment on how much slimmer I look, I do tell them that I had bariatric surgery. I'm not publishing it in social media.

[ypease 177]

I would never share this type of personal info on any Social Media Platform. I think too many "personal" details and info are shared this way, opening one up to opinions and comments you don't need to hear or view. Of course, then again, you are hearing from someone who has very few friends on FB, etc.

I might speak about it afterwards, if a specific question is asked by someone whose business it "really" is. The others can speculate and gossip about their suspicions all they want. I won't care.

[starladustangel 270]

I've been open about it at work. Coworkers who had it before me were open about having surgery and it made me feel more comfortable to seek it out knowing how our benefits would apply for bariatric surgery. I've had two coworkers who are thinking about weight loss surgery talk to me about it recently. Our benefits used to not cover it up until the last few years. I've only gotten one negative comment from a rail thin coworker who thinks our insurance should only cover it if you're near death. Most people have been supportive.

I want my coworkers who are struggling with their weight to be comfortable seeking out and to know that insurance wise it is an option for them just like the people who have already had it before me at work.

I've been open with friends and family as well. My mom had surgery at the end of February and was open about it and it made me feel less like I had failed for seeking out surgery.

I personally choose to be open because I want to remove the stigma of surgery being a sign of failure or the easy way out. I want more people to view it as a valid tool and that we still have to put in the work pre and post op for it to work.

But it's a personal choice to share and I don't think anyone should have to share if they don;t want to.

[AngieBear 2,524]

I’ve been pretty open about it at work. TBH, it’s because I didn’t want anyone to worry about me when I took my medical leave for surgery. I work at a university, with a wonderful caring group of people. I’m very fortunate. The last thing I wanted was to have them fret that I was going through some unknown medical condition. This was something that I hadn’t thought about until it got closer to the time I’d be out. What I really underestimated was the reaction of my student work force. I’d have to say when I told them that I’d be out, they got really worried. It was quite sweet. So I told them what it was so that they would chill out. The more I thought about it, going on medical leave, then coming back smaller and having rapid weight loss right after would either make everyone think I was really really sick or that I had WLS, but was ashamed of it and didn’t want anyone to know or something? I’d rather they know. The main reason I was hesitant to tell them is because I’ve worked with student groups on body positivity, etc. I didn’t want to give an impression that I thought that fat was unattractive. Letting them know about my surgery did lead to some good discussions about societal norms (good and bad) health concerns as I age, etc. Opening up with them about it led to some VERY open discussions, as can happen. I’m sure that it will be an ongoing discussion.

I haven’t addressed it on my FB yet, but I’m sure I will once the WL becomes more obvious.

Edited May 4, 2019 by AngieBear

[lexkelmo 5]

My surgery is May 2 and I went the absolutely the other way. I started a website and blogs about the surgery and how my life is changing and what I'm learning in this process. It has been very affirming and therapeutic, but I'm also laying it out there and cutting off the nay-sayers at the pass. I know this is excessive for some people, but it is working for me.
www.itsaneducation.weebly.com

Hope it went well for you! I will check out your blog. Mine is May 10.

[ypease 177]

I'm with all of you re work place disclosure. I retired early in 2016, so I no longer have coworkers to worry about. I did have surgery (Total Knee Replacement) done in 2011 and was very open about that procedure once the date was set and everything in place through HR and my supervisor. I asked my supervisor to announce it during a weekly staff meeting. I addressed all concerns and questions afterwords.

[2cool4dee 10]

Personally I have only told my parents, husband, oldest daughter and sister. Don't plan on telling anyone else. I feel like it's no ones business and don't want to risk being judged. I will deal with people when the time comes regarding my weight loss.

[DKG_WLJ 26]

Funnily enough, only my partner and a few friends I’m not that close to know. I have a weight loss Instagram account (@drasticdea_x) and a few family members found it, except my parents. My mum is completely against the idea and talked me out of having the VSG last year. I’ve decided I’m not going to tell her until the day of or day before surgery. I can’t afford to hear any negativity right now. Another close friend of mine is extremely judgemental and believes obesity surgery is for lazy individuals.