Asking advice!

[jazzyj13 44]

Does anyone have any advice about keeping their journey a secret? The only people I’ve told about my WLS journey are my closest friends and family. Im only 2 weeks post op but I’m already nervous about what to tell people when they start asking how I’m losing so much weight. I have a bachelorette party in August where I’m sure they’ll be asking why I’m not drinking/eating nearly as much, and I’m in a wedding In September where I’ll be seeing people I haven’t seen in nearly a year so I know there will be questions. What are your experiences with this and do you have any advice for me?

Also, before anyone comments asking why I’m ashamed or embarrassed, I’m not. This is a personal journey for me and there are some things in my life I just like to keep that way.

[Danny Paul 761]

1 hour ago, justineek said:

This is a personal journey for me and there are some things in my life I just like to keep that way.

My sentiments exactly. I told a handful of family and that was it. For everyone else my story was, a bunch of us got together and put $1,000 in a pot to see who could lose the most amount of weight by years end. I came in a distant second as far as everyone knew. At work I told them that the "contest" was among neighbors. At home I told them the "contest" was among co workers.

To keep the questions from coming after the "contest" I told everyone a second bet was made to see who could keep off the most weight. No one has batted an eye except when I told them the buy in was $1,000.

Good luck and you'll find the overwhelming majority here will not make any negative comments. We are here to support each other.

[Ed_NW 684]

Just omit whatever information you don't want to share. Some people I'm open with and when others mention my weight loss, I just tell them I am seeing a nutritionist and am on a diet provided by her because my health was headed in the wrong direction and it was time to do something about it. You don't have to lie to people, you just need to be the one that chooses how much information you want to put out there.

[GradyCat 3,692]

Only my husband knows. At Christmas when I was just 2 weeks post-op I had to make an excuse to my MIL as to why I wasn't eating (I told her I had just had my hiatal hernia fixed and could only eat liquids for a few days). I was on a cruise two weeks ago and just told my tablemates that I was watching my weight to explain why I hardly ate anything. People aren't nearly as observant as you would think and they might not even notice your eating patterns at these events. You can just say you're watching your weight or dieting to explain your weight loss without telling them about the WLS.

[naiad 51]

I will be saying I made some firm lifestyle changes!

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[SusieQ2019 567]

Tell people who you are comfortable with. For me the guessing game will be at work but they know I am the diet guru. I will just tell them that i started to go back to the supervise weight loss program where at some point i lost a lot of weight.

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

3 hours ago, justineek said:

Does anyone have any advice about keeping their journey a secret? The only people I’ve told about my WLS journey are my closest friends and family. Im only 2 weeks post op but I’m already nervous about what to tell people when they start asking how I’m losing so much weight. I have a bachelorette party in August where I’m sure they’ll be asking why I’m not drinking/eating nearly as much, and I’m in a wedding In September where I’ll be seeing people I haven’t seen in nearly a year so I know there will be questions. What are your experiences with this and do you have any advice for me?

Also, before anyone comments asking why I’m ashamed or embarrassed, I’m not. This is a personal journey for me and there are some things in my life I just like to keep that way.

Disclose only what you want to who you want. You don’t own anyone an explanation for your weight loss. None of us owe anyone here an explanation of why we want to keep things private.

keeping this a secret.

Prepare yourself. Most conversations with people seem to be about your weight loss. Its uncomfortable and annoying. Realize you can’t hide rapid weight loss. People will ask questions, talk behind your back and speculate wls.

The compliments and comments stop once your weight settles around goal. No one will give your weight a second thought. They will except this is you. Life becomes normal.

[GreenTealael 24,849]

8 hours ago, justineek said:

Does anyone have any advice about keeping their journey a secret? The only people I’ve told about my WLS journey are my closest friends and family. Im only 2 weeks post op but I’m already nervous about what to tell people when they start asking how I’m losing so much weight. I have a bachelorette party in August where I’m sure they’ll be asking why I’m not drinking/eating nearly as much, and I’m in a wedding In September where I’ll be seeing people I haven’t seen in nearly a year so I know there will be questions. What are your experiences with this and do you have any advice for me?

Also, before anyone comments asking why I’m ashamed or embarrassed, I’m not. This is a personal journey for me and there are some things in my life I just like to keep that way.

Consider starting social media coverage of your changes like an Instagram low carb lifestyle or Keto journey (or whatever diet plan best represents how you will eat post op long term)

Your dietary changes will be very public and everyone will see exactly what you are doing to lose the weight...

Edited March 22, 2019 by GreenTealael

[ms.sss 14,619]

On 3/21/2019 at 8:11 PM, Healthy_life2 said:

Prepare yourself. Most conversations with people seem to be about your weight loss. Its uncomfortable and annoying.

This. While at first I didn't mind the attention, because really, I was feeling myself and I was happy that others were noticing what I saw. But now, it seems my weight loss seems to dominate the conversations, and yes, it has become uncomfortable and annoying. It's no longer, "Hi! How are you?", it is now "Hi! So how much weight have you lost now?" I find the need to continually change the subject to something else.

[SeattleLady 277]

The only people who will know I had revision surgery? My husband and kids.

The last time it was to much attention and pressure. It triggered me to eat and hide. I have faced most of my past trauma. This time it's my business what I weight.

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[SusieQ2019 567]

I had a conversation with someone about the pre op diet and that person told me if you can loose weight on the pre op diet they don't see the point of weight loss surgery. I really wanted to say so why are you fat after 29 years of dieting. I think the less people know the best because I don't want any food police around me watching my every bite while secretly hoping that I gain the weight back to then tell me I told you so. The only people I can count on right now for support are my children because they will never wish me to fail.

[ms.sss 14,619]

8 minutes ago, SusieQ2019 said:

I think the less people know the best because I don't want any food police around me watching my every bite

The 4 people I told about my WLS don't watch, nor really care, what I eat or don't eat. However, the gazillion other people who I didn't tell, do. People (including strangers) seem to feel the need to question/comment on/judge my food choices (or lack thereof). That, or they will continually offer or encourage me to eat more of whatever happens to be on the table. I figure people are somehow uncomfortable when other's don't eat?

In short, the food police are everywhere.