Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not telling, not even my spouse?



Recommended Posts

Has anyone ever had WLS and not told ANYONE, not even your spouse? My spouse is VERY unsupportive and has NEVER had a weight issue. He thinks I'm crazy and I'm pretty sure he'd tell people even if I'd beg him not to :(

I feel very alone with this problem. Has anyone else had it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand not telling friends, family and co-workers about your surgery, but I don't see how you can conceal it from your spouse. Do you really want him to find out after the fact, when you're on your post-op diet and are dealing with all the usual post-op recovery issues??? It's not like he wont see the incisions on your body. How will that conversation go when he finds out after the fact?? The fact is, if your husband is not supportive to the point you feel you have to conceal this from him, you need to consider whether you should be staying in this marriage. This is not a healthy situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cant imagine keeping a secret of that magnitude from my husband. Your spouse is supposed to be your person , the one that you share things with, that has your back, that looks out for you etc

Who is going to be taking you to and from hospital? Who is going to be your emergency contact? What is you have some unexpected side effects and have to stay in hospital longer than planned.

Imagine how betrayed he will feel if he only finds out afterwards. You wouldn’t want to be going through that kind of stress whilst trying to recover

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get a new husband. Its 2019, no time for unsupportive and disrespectful spouses.

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that sounds terrible. I agree, you can't keep it from your spouse. I think it's in your best interest to work on your marriage. you married him for a reason, i assume. I assume you love him and he loves you. i think that you should get that worked out before you go through a life change like this.. He will notice....

I sure hope you find the support you need.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At first, I didn’t tell anyone but my husband. Found that wasn’t enough support. I needed the support others could provide.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He would tell people??? Sounds like the problem is your husband, not the surgery

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m getting my lapband out after 10 years and getting bypass. I didn’t tell anyone the first time around and it was awful. I learned when I did let people in they were all very supportive, this time around I’m not going to lie to myself or anyone else close to me. Might separate those who love me from those who do t but living with the secret is something I refuse to do again. I promise it’s better to tell your truth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 1 reply
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Having gall bladder surgery in a few days and I so hope the recovery is easier than the one from the modified DS! I could use a bit of luck/pep talk for a change. I'm starting to be able to walk around without experiencing dizziness, but it would be great if the random pain in my chest and abdomen would go away!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Dawn 1974

      4/4/2024 - new patient orientation. Wt 313
      4/5/2024 - got all my lab work done.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×