Backhanded compliments

[chellyvillen 21]

So for Christmas eve I wore a dress. I never wear dresses, not since I was a little kid, but I'm 7 months post-op and lost ~100 lbs since my highest and ~70 lbs since surgery, and I was feeling good. And I went to a friend's party and everyone was telling me how good I looked, literally everyone, and it was all I was talking about all night, people had questions but I'm open and talked about my weight loss with everyone.

As I was leaving, someone who didn't say a word to me all night comes up and says, "You look so nice... now."

I almost punched him in the face. I don't even remember what I said, I was so mad. And I have been thinking about this comment ever since. I don't know if I need to get my emotions in check or find an outlet or what. How do you deal with this kind of comment?

[sideeye 1,440]

Pity him. To be someone like that, who doesn't have the social skills to understand that's a stupid thing to say - or worse, a person with a gaping chasm where their soul's meant to be and who looks for moments to slide in a snide remark and get that faint thrill of superiority for just one second.

People like that deserve nothing but pity. And every time you see him from now on, you don't need to feel angry or sad or embarrassed, just pity him in a remote kind of way - because he's like that inside ALL THE TIME. No amount of surgery's going to make that go away. And if he ever takes the chance to say something like that to you again, just pity him harder. Directly to his face, non-responsively, because that will utterly ruin his snide little high. DISMISS him.

[elcee 3,340]

It’s not a good thing to say but if you think about it he just verbalised what you yourself think. You felt good and felt that you looked good which presumably you didn’t before.

I know when I’m carrying extra weight I feel as though I look horrible.

So accept it as a compliment and just realise that not everyone is tactful. Sometimes things come across as rude that aren’t meant that way.

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Life is short. Don't carry grudges. Besides, living well is the best revenge. And so you continue your journey--you always look put together and smokin' hot and you kill with kindness. And you live your life--secretly gloating that you look and feel F-I-N-E, FINE and that you won't ever be taken in by his stupidity.

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

1 hour ago, sideeye said:

Pity him. To be someone like that, who doesn't have the social skills to understand that's a stupid thing to say - or worse, a person with a gaping chasm where their soul's meant to be and who looks for moments to slide in a snide remark and get that faint thrill of superiority for just one second.

People like that deserve nothing but pity. And every time you see him from now on, you don't need to feel angry or sad or embarrassed, just pity him in a remote kind of way - because he's like that inside ALL THE TIME. No amount of surgery's going to make that go away. And if he ever takes the chance to say something like that to you again, just pity him harder. Directly to his face, non-responsively, because that will utterly ruin his snide little high. DISMISS him.

I couldn't agree more with this! You can lose weight far easier than he can change his crummy personality. Feel sorry for someone who can't figure out how to interact with other humans in a kind way.

[Healthy_life 1,437]

[Frustr8 7,886]

Ooo--- I so like this!

[FancyChristine15 810]

Don't focus on the one backhanded compliment that you received. Focus on all of the genuine compliments that you received instead! His dumb comment isn't worth your time.

[NYJenn 1,461]

I got my first backhanded compliment today..."You look great, God, do you eat ANYTHING anymore?"

I replied with "Yes, lots of protein"

[nenes78 528]

17 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

I got my first backhanded compliment today..."You look great, God, do you eat ANYTHING anymore?"

I replied with "Yes, lots of protein"

Good for you.

[Avery's Mom 315]

On ‎1‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 7:03 PM, FluffyChix said:

Life is short. Don't carry grudges. Besides, living well is the best revenge. And so you continue your journey--you always look put together and smokin' hot and you kill with kindness. And you live your life--secretly gloating that you look and feel F-I-N-E, FINE and that you won't ever be taken in by his stupidity.

BAHAHAH love this!

Do not let this ignorant person steal your joy!!!

[looly 361]

Is this person that important to you? Don't give his comment a second's thought - I bet he's not thinking twice about it. And if he's sarcastic with you again, tell him he's mistaking you for someone who gives a damn.

[jaytissle55 180]

Karma is something and it always always works it self back to the surface!!!

[mrs_brontosaurus 12]

“And you’re just as sh*tty as ever!”

Really though, you don’t have to say anything to people like that. They’ve just let everyone around them know that they’re rubbishy and gross. That cringe is 100% on him. Congrats on your success!