Confronting the "mean girls"

[DeeberLee 300]

Yesterday at work I overheard 2 of my co workers discussing my weight loss. I've known both of these ladies for awhile. Neither of them are over weight. We've even discussed weight loss issues and so forth. They do not know about my surgery, to me it's a personal issue. They were discussing how I could be losing weight so fast. I must have done "something." It kind of hurt my feelings. What difference does it make? I'm just trying to get healthy. Should I say something to them or not be so sensitive?

[Ed_NW 684]

I would confront them. Tell them to talk to your face, not behind your back. Tell them what your new diet consists of if they want to hear. High Protein low carb and moderate exercise under a doctors supervision. Most of the time they won't want to hear your story, they just wanted to gossip.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

If you had a co-worker who suddenly dropped 50 lbs. wouldn't you wonder? In the absence of any facts, it's human nature to speculate. You'll just have to ignore it.

[DeeberLee 300]

Thank you, both of you for your different opinions . I appreciate it.

[notmyname 591]

I have a slightly different take on issues like this at work. I'd bet a lot of people don't quite agree with me. It is inappropriate to discuss coworkers' bodies. Seriously. If it were me, I'd talk to them, say you overheard them, and tell them that it just is not OK to talk about another coworker's body - no matter what the context. Also remind them that pretty much no place in an office is private and they should never think they can't be overheard. At my job, we had a successful claim of harassment because someone overheard a coworker talking about her body. Not in a sexual way, but bodies at work should be off limit.

[Jazzy1125 1,008]

I am different. I am not ashamed of what i have done. After all we are still putting in the hard work. It isnt easy doing this. This is not the easy way out. In my office.. Most know what i have decided to do. For one, i work in a small office and we are like family. For two.. if something happens to me during work ( like it did the other day when i couldnt tolerate chicken... ( had my head over the trash can for hour and a half) How else are they going to know if i need help with something. My co workers are very supportive of my decision. When they order food out, they are very considerate of what i can and cannot eat, and accomodate to what i can do. The person who order supplies, specifically orders Decaf coffee for me to keep at my desk so nobody drinks it all and i am left without. I consider my co workers a part of my support group. When i was on liquids they would ask.. what can you have here are our options.. etc.

Now if you want to keep it private, that is also fine.. we all have our reasons.. for one.. ppl in the office are going to notice the changes in your eating habits, etc. You may want to bring up something like Orchids said.. you are investing in you for the new year and decided to start early.. You want to make sure your decision works for you so you are doing it under doctors care and supervision. I would rather my office work with me than against me. After all, we are at work more than we are at home.

[Hop_Scotch 1,625]

1 hour ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

If you had a co-worker who suddenly dropped 50 lbs. wouldn't you wonder? In the absence of any facts, it's human nature to speculate. You'll just have to ignore it.

These were my thoughts too. We all have our own perceptions (we weren't there we don't know the tone of voice or what they are generally like), but from what you written OP it doesn't sound 'mean girls' to me, but speculation, which we all have done at one time or another.

Edited December 23, 2018 by 2shea

[GreenTealael 24,850]

This is a hard one (and take a lot of work I won't lie) but I once saw something like this on Instagram:

The best revenge is no revenge at all. Move on and be happy.

Edited December 23, 2018 by GreenTealael

[Frustr8 7,886]

They should shut up, it is none of their business, but people fighting cancer also lose weight, fat bullying they think okay, so dies mean cancer bullying is also okay? I THINK NOT!

[anonbaribabe 236]

31 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

This is a hard one (and take a lot of work I won't lie) but I once saw something like this on Instagram:

The best revenge is no revenge at all. Move on and be happy.

I agree. Don't feed into their negativity, and as difficult as it is—don't let it get to you.

[Kay07 734]

I totally think you should take this as a compliment. Think of it this way: you are rocking it so hard that people are taking time out of their day to think and talk about you. And let's be honest there is probably a little bit of jealousy added in there 😜 Let that put a spring in your step and make you smile bigger!

[NYJenn 1,461]

Walk passed them and just quietly mention that you overheard them talking yesterday and if they have any questions to swing by your cubicle after lunch and you can chat. Then just walk away. They will be stunned and you will have proved your point

[kjuno 53]

I can sympathize with you DeeberLee. I haven’t returned back to work yet. 2 of my office mates know and 2 supervisors know but no one else. My own family has been very vocal about how against this surgery they are that I couldn’t handle hearing anyone talk about it at work too. We have staff meetings once a month w all staff and there is always food. I know people are going to start noticing and talking possibly asking questions especially if they see me once a month and honestly Idk what I’ll say.

[J@Alabama 44]

I work in an office and it is hard to keep secrets. Lol. I didn’t tell anyone before I had surgery but I did tell them a couple of months after. The production workers were even concerned when I started losing weight because they thought I was sick. My work environment is more like family so I didn’t mind the questions.

[Darci kendall 87]

No matter what you say you’ll have your haters .I work in the Heath care industry and trust me there are some winners .Had a Nurse say to me I would never do something like that (Well your like 300 lbs and can’t bend over but that ain’t non of my Business)It’s my body my life mind your own damn Business is pretty much what I said only kinder lol