Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Fat shaming ?? Post op over 4 yrs



Recommended Posts

You are a blessing to meet on here. I shall remember this wisdom and will remember to make compassion part of my attitude from this day forward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I follow a teacher who says that reality reflects back our own nature to us. If we look out at the world with predatory, judgemental eyes, then that is what gets reflected back to us. If we look out with curious, compassionate eyes, that is what gets reflected back. I know which I prefer
[emoji7]

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app


Im trying so hard but it's not easy when the world never fails to disappoint.

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im trying so hard but it's not easy when the world never fails to disappoint.

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

I know. I'm not good at it either. But I figure it's got to be better to try believing the universe is benevolent and giving me what I need at every moment* than t'other way around.

* I am completely dependent on everything other than me - even my body won't work without squidillions of bacteria in my gut doing whatever it is that bacteria in my gut do. It's a bloomin' miracle I'm here: Just one ancestor who got eaten by a sabre-tooth tiger instead of mating and no ummyasmin. In the face of that, what other appropriate response is there but gratitude?

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is getting rather philosophical.

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can honestly say that I've never judged someone based on their size, and if I ever did, I would be totally ashamed of myself. It is not my place to judge, whether silently or outwardly. As someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, I know how it feels to have strangers laugh at you, gossip about you, and stare in disgust or amusement. It's truly one of the worst feelings in the world, and the reason that I was too scared to even leave my house for several months. I was terrified of being laughed at.

Some of the replies here truly make me sick -- especially coming from people who struggled with obesity at one point in their lives. Judging people is never right. Regardless of whether you think you're "helping" them, you aren't. You're making things worse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know. I'm not good at it either. But I figure it's got to be better to try believing the universe is benevolent and giving me what I need at every moment* than t'other way around.

* I am completely dependent on everything other than me - even my body won't work without squidillions of bacteria in my gut doing whatever it is that bacteria in my gut do. It's a bloomin' miracle I'm here: Just one ancestor who got eaten by a sabre-tooth tiger instead of mating and no ummyasmin. In the face of that, what other appropriate response is there but gratitude?

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Careful you're beginning to sound like a socialist. You know how evil we are. *eye roll*

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Careful you're beginning to sound like a socialist. You know how evil we are. *eye roll*

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Bahaha I'm in Europe, we like socialists this side of the pond hahahah

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we all look at people and think they could benefit from our experience. However I think back to before I started this journey and know how I would have responded, which would not have been terribly well, had I been approached. I see it like someone who has given up smoking or found god. Mostly everyone else does not really want to hear about how they could transform their lives for the better. This is a journey you have to be ready to take. I know that this desire to evangelize comes from a good place, but mostly I don't think we have the right to tell someone we don't know how they should live their lives.
Having said all of that, if you want to people watch and secretly judge them, I am all for that. I know I do!
I'm definitely not staring at people or telling them that I had weight surgery. I just look and I was also looked at and I wore a big coat most of my fat days. Mostly because men would stare at my chest because my chest grew to a 42J size and now I'm normal again. I'm a 38D now which is what I've been my whole life. I had to have breast augmentation because my back was killing me by then. I certainly am not trying to hurt a person that's obese. I just can't help but see them when they are in the skinny ass clothes, but I'm not staring and making comments, if someone wants to know I tell them. That's it! What I think and how I act towards overweight people is not making fun of anyone, and I mostly look because it keeps me mindful of what I went through just to get where I'm at now.

Sent from my N9560 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 12/5/2018 at 8:34 PM, ummyasmin said:

Bahaha I'm in Europe, we like socialists this side of the pond hahahah

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Quiet as it's kept, some of us do too

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

huh ? what? What? I didn't say anything

Edited by GreenTealael

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been obese very long. When I was thin, I judged people. I never once said anything to them or stared or anything overtly rude. But I would notice walking by and mentally make comments. If I was somewhere with friends and, say, in a car where someone couldn't see or hear, I'm sure we would make comments. I was VICIOUSLY cruel to my mother who was obese. I am obese now and still find myself looking at other obese people. Except now, I remember that I look similar to them and I just feel really depressed about myself because I DON'T want to look this way. I think "OMG Do I really look like THAT?!" Sometimes I completely forget I am obese and when I look in the mirror it is a huge shock. My brain still sees me as 140lbs. It hasn't caught up to the fact I am 250lbs. I haven't had that much time living in these shoes... and hopefully won't much longer.

I have more compassion for people than I did - I make an effort to make sure I smile to everyone I pass or not do the small things that make me, now, feel invisible to someone else who is my size.... things I inadvertently did when I was thin. I don't know if I necessarily feel empathetic... because I did this completely to myself and sometimes I project that onto others. I know everyone has their own reasons why they became obese. Not everyone "did it to themselves".

So, yes, I admit I am judgmental. I am hypocritically judgmental. I hate when people judge me, but I haven't broken totally out of that socially ingrained bias against obese people, either, because my brain still thinks I am skinny half the time. It's a work in progress, but at least I am working on it. And maybe judgmental isn't the right word anymore. I just feel down on myself when I see other heavy people. I never, ever would do anything to make someone else feel bad about themselves. But I do a whole heck of a lot to make myself feel awful. I don't let anyone else make me feel awful, though. Even the ones I KNOW are judging me. I don't care what other people think of me... I harshly care about what I think about myself.

Edited by mousecat88

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was obese I was judgmental of other obese people. I guess it was because I was one of them , I could be judgmental. I never approached anyone to make them feel bad and I never made comments to them as well.

Since my WLS I look at obese people in a different light. I truly hope that if they want, they can have the same opportunity to be successful in weight loss that I have. I also know that I can one day become obese again and it could be I that is at the end of the cruel comments. I'm just grateful each day that I have had ANOTHER opportunity to loose a good amount of weight and to become healthy once again. I work hard so that I don't squander this opportunity like I did so many other times in the past. Today no judgements just waiting for the opportunity to help someone lead a healthier life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like philosophical posts
Me too, my Abrahamic cuz!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a crappy thing to do and I hope I don't feel that way after losing more weight. If you ate yourself up to a weight high enough to qualify for WLS you have no right to judge, even if you were able to get help. Obesity is an illness. Compulsive overeating is a an illness just like alcoholism. Surgery is a treatment, and we were lucky enough to be able to have it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×