Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Why isn't anyone talking about having no support system? Because I sure dont



Recommended Posts

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's talked about. Here are a few threads about lack or no support

https://www.bariatricpal.com/search/?&q=unsupportive&search_and_or=or&sortby=relevancy

The members here share similar experiences with weight loss surgery. Ask us anything.

Edited by skinnylife

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, Toya6 said:

no support system

@Toya6

welcome to the group - we keep getting "smaller" and "smaller"😉

sorry you are lacking support🙁

don't dismay - OP here love to help others w/info - support and sympathy ,

most of us have good ears, and wide arms - waiting for newbies like you.

can you check with your doc/NUT if they have a support group - or can send

you in the right direction. continue posting on U tube, doing your journal.

keep a record of all your NSV's - you will hear that word a lot. It means

NonSleeve/Surgery/Victories - ie the first day you can cross your legs. Many
clothes NSV's like getting into a smaller size. Being able to wrap a bath towel

around you (that was a huge one for me)

Take pictures of yourself now, and periodically - take your measurements

too. If you don't see the scale move - the tape measure will be a good

indicator to your success.

bummer that you had to leave hospital early to care for your kids. hopefully

you are still able to take care of yourself-you are the important one now!!

good luck - i know you will do great - you are aces!!!🤗

kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Toya6 Honey sometimes you have to make your own sunshine and do not let anyone get in the way of that.

I know quite a few people who have had either gastric bypass or some other type of weight loss surgery but they either gained all of the weight back or working on gaining it back so I do not want to go to them for support.

Support is so important and like you, I talked to total strangers from this very site that answered my questions, cheered me on, encouraged me you name it...I am so thankful that my nutritionist told me about this app because I had so many questions...I kept reading the questions that were posted and answers that were given. It has helped me so much! so you are not alone, there are folks here willing and ready to be a support system for you.

Yes I had family to come visit me in the hospital, pick me up and listened to me but they really don't understand the emotional aspect of my journey like people that have been and going through this process.

So I said all that to say, if you want this can be your support system...each person are at different levels and stages here but you will always get a response back from someone.

You made one of the best decisions to have WLS so if you have to get support from total strangers so be it, they won't seem like strangers after a while.

I wish you nothing but the best on your journey. We are here for you 😉

PS: Also you can check with your Team to see if they have a support group. My group does have a support group that meets once a month, I went but wasn't impressed.

Edited by wanda247

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, sorry you are experiencing this, I also had very little support. But you can make it through and still come out on top. Fight for yourself, support yourself, win for yourself, never disappointed yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry you are struggling!

In the end, this is about us, and for us, and it can be so consuming. I second and third the need to get recs to hook-up with a good real life support group. My RD hooked me up with 3 groups and I found a 4th on my own. I ended up liking the one group led by my RD the best, so I make sure to go to that monthly. It's invaluable to me.

Then the online supports both here at BP, and on FB, and also on MFP are fabulous and are very important to my success and motivation! I feel connected daily with people who are in a similar situation and can offer advice and support.

Hope you find that!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry no one is in your corner for this battle! It is really hard for non-bariatric people to really understand this journey, they can give you a hug sure, but we really have to put in the time, and do all the work ourselves in the end. Celebrate all your little goals along the way - get a blank notebook or even just a steno pad from the dollar store and write all your feelings down and all your accomplishments. You can refer to them on days when you need a little boost. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You came across a great site if you are in need of support. There are plenty of folks here that will love you like family even though they may never meet you in person. Stick around, ask questions, post your concerns and you will for sure get feedback.

Congrats on your surgery and Best to you on your journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry you do not feel you have support. My wife went through the same 10 years ago. Today this site Facebook and MFP all have support groups and people like myself who had RNY in July who are here for you,

Check the following web site https://www.obesityaction.org/community/find-support-connect/find-a-support-group/

the site has some bariatric support groups

Also have you done a google search for support

I a, on MFP my profile is josephskop You can friend me and I will try to provide support

Joe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids
My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, mousecat88 said:

My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Me to, I am a member of this site and some FB groups, and other than that only one friend knows, and if I didn't have to have someone with me for a couple of days after the procedure (my doctor insisted, though with the benefit of hindsight he wouldn't have known either way), no one would have known.

I am fairly independent and private with family and friends when it comes to medical issues and health, if I am sick, I prefer to be left alone, don't bother me type of thing, I am not dying, I will be fine tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Well we are here for you whatever you need ! I am also newly sleeved and ir is a tough path we chose! Good luck and ask if you need anything,

PaulE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I salute you that are doing this solo. I don't know if I would have had the strength both physically or mentally to go through with it. Although I cannot offer an physical assistance I will offer any support otherwise that I can. I wish the best to you all!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids
What's your YouTube link. I'll subscribe. Good luck on your journey. Sometimes family and friends don't understand this process so the lack of support is unfortunate. Just keep being great and living your best life. We are our biggest cheerleaders..as long as YOU love yourself nothing else matters.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And NIKKIBEVERLY. And Toya6. you'll always have a friend in me, if you like. Some things are different , I am a 72 year old widow in Central Ohio who had a RyN bypass September 5th, but like you there is not another RnY in my town, the few times I have been to my local hospital, a community one, not the one in Columbus , Ohio State University, where i had my surgery, the nursing staff acts like I am a purple spotted giraffe that parachuted in, oh they may have treated lap-bands, one or 2 sleeves,but never nothing like ME!
And I know how a lack of support hurts, I do have Tomkitten,my son, my friends on here, but hardly anyone else. My PCP told me last Friday, after 11 weeks of silence on the subject, that he was very proud of me. This is after seeing him for other things, and like an invisible elephant in the room, he just ignored it. Even he is finally seeing my weight loss, Good news I have lost 60+ pounds since July 31st Bad News I was such a Big Girl it takes a while for it to become apparent and I am not healing perfect, I have a stricture, My surgeons partner has tried 3 times, every 2 weeks, to stretch it, another attempt this coming Friday, and I have 5 post-surgery gastric and intestinal ulcers, not yet bleeding, not ready to perforated although there is always that risk. So since little gets through the narrowed opening, I can't eat much and vomit a lot. Wish I was young enough to be preggers , I would get a cute little baby out of the vomiting deal!😷👶! But life is still in a way good, beats death all hollow. And Dr Noria swears I am still fixable, smart lady, guess I choose to believe her!🌈

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×