Depression after surgery

[Beltran01 7]

Im 2 months post op, and I been feeling kind of depressed lately. I thought that by loosing weight I wouldn’t miss food. Socialization revolves around food always, going out to dinner or getting together with the family on Sunday involves food. Almost every major holiday is enhanced with a traditional menu. I feel that I cannot participate in a ritual in the same way. But the worst part is that no one understands. And I feel terrible watching everyone enjoying and asking if I would like some and I having to say “no thank you” because I know if I eat something that is not on my menu will make me feel very sick. I really hope this gets better I really miss gathering the family. I prefer to stay home every time the family reunites. I really feel lonely in this journey.

[Matt Z 4,138]

6 hours ago, Beltran01 said:

Im 2 months post op, and I been feeling kind of depressed lately. I thought that by loosing weight I wouldn’t miss food. Socialization revolves around food always, going out to dinner or getting together with the family on Sunday involves food. Almost every major holiday is enhanced with a traditional menu. I feel that I cannot participate in a ritual in the same way. But the worst part is that no one understands. And I feel terrible watching everyone enjoying and asking if I would like some and I having to say “no thank you” because I know if I eat something that is not on my menu will make me feel very sick. I really hope this gets better I really miss gathering the family. I prefer to stay home every time the family reunites. I really feel lonely in this journey.

Not sure why you thought being lighter would make you miss food less. Did you have a pre-op mental health check? Was this not something you addressed with them? This is going to be (for the most part) a life long thing... will it get better / easier... sure it will, you'll adjust and your body will as well, things you can't eat right now, you might be able to down the road. I'm getting close to 6 months and I can pretty much eat whatever I want, making it harder than if I couldn't. Now, since I can eat cake and Cookies and drink beer and eat calzones and whatever... I have to make those choices myself, of my own free will, I can no longer say "Oh, I can't eat that cookie it'll make me dump" because that doesn't happen anymore. Not sure what surgery you had... but *it does get better*.

If you are having issues, get back and talk to a therapist.

[SarcasticJopanda 4]

Im 2 months post op, and I been feeling kind of depressed lately. I thought that by loosing weight I wouldn’t miss food. Socialization revolves around food always, going out to dinner or getting together with the family on Sunday involves food. Almost every major holiday is enhanced with a traditional menu. I feel that I cannot participate in a ritual in the same way. But the worst part is that no one understands. And I feel terrible watching everyone enjoying and asking if I would like some and I having to say “no thank you” because I know if I eat something that is not on my menu will make me feel very sick. I really hope this gets better I really miss gathering the family. I prefer to stay home every time the family reunites. I really feel lonely in this journey.

Hi. Do you think they would get offended if you brought Snacks or food that you can eat? I don't think this is fair to you. I think bringing your own stuff can be like a compromise. You're doing what you can to participate if they still don't understand they don't deserve your company. This isn't your fault or your doing. Taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness. Please consider what I say, depression has the potential to mess up all the progress you have made. Seek professional help. Maybe try attending a support group for wls patients. I'm sure there are other folks who have experienced this too. I'm scheduled to have my surgery Oct 3rd. While everyone in my household is supportive this is a fear I have in regards to visiting my boyfriend's family. Reach out please.

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[Frustr8 7,886]

And WE ALL,are here for you. Reach out, you would be surprised how many have faced your stresses, your qualms and indeed your sorrows. Many,of us were so sad and blue afterward we wondered if even,our skin would turn blue. But we got through it, and maybe some of our coping tricks will help you Too. We don't replace professional assistance, if you need it don't be ashamed to ask but we can help too. Just reach out and ask,okay?

[melanie0279 7]

It gets better at around 3 months. You will never be able to eat the same amount you did before, but you will be able to participate during food functions. I too, for the first 2 months was a bit angry and depressed about not being able to eat the way I used to, but it’s normal. It’s like mourning a relationship. I promise it will get better. I am now 5 months post op. I am able to eat things I couldn’t eat at 2 months post op. Some things I won’t touch for fear of gaining weight. If I want something I really shouldn’t have, I will take a little taste or bite and throw the rest away. It’s all about self control and will power. I started this journey at 242 pounds, 5 months ago. I currently weigh 168.2. Sometimes it’s not easy but I can tell you, it’s worth it. Good luck to you.

[redhead_che 824]

Im almost 10 months out. I learned to show up after the food is served with my family. Or not at all. But that’s a choice I was OK making, I’m not big on social gatherings to begin with. 🤷🏼‍♀️ In general though I can tell you many people experience post op depression including myself. But the way of addressing that is different for everyone so I’d also echo the therapist suggestion should you find it continuing on and on and even outside of food/family gatherings. Or a support group.

[Diane60 10]

Have you considered packing your own food to take to the Family functions or talking to Family members who are hosting the event maybe they can prepare something specific for you. I know it’s hard . I am a month post op and my family eats whatever they want in front of me, even have me place their takeout orders but I remind myself I did this for my health and now they are jealous im down 50 pounds. So pick yourself up have faith you did the right thing for you. Take care

[GreenTealael 24,856]

On 9/16/2018 at 11:54 PM, Beltran01 said:

Im 2 months post op, and I been feeling kind of depressed lately. I thought that by loosing weight I wouldn’t miss food. Socialization revolves around food always, going out to dinner or getting together with the family on Sunday involves food. Almost every major holiday is enhanced with a traditional menu. I feel that I cannot participate in a ritual in the same way. But the worst part is that no one understands. And I feel terrible watching everyone enjoying and asking if I would like some and I having to say “no thank you” because I know if I eat something that is not on my menu will make me feel very sick. I really hope this gets better I really miss gathering the family. I prefer to stay home every time the family reunites. I really feel lonely in this journey.

I would highly recommend you vigorously insert yourself into all activities and traditions involving food by insisting that a singular dish is prepared for you to your specifications or you do it and insist on sharing it. Be bold with your recovery, take charge of your life. No one else will...