Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

None of Your Business!



Recommended Posts

I'm having surgery on Aug. 20th also. Im not telling anyone. I may even have to go to the hospital alone, but it's ok.

Diverticulitis surgery has a very similar recovery period to gastric sleeve surgery. No eating, heavy lifting, etc. for a while. Most people are not cleared to go back to work for approx 1-2 months. And a lot of people lose weight after the diverticulitis surgery because they are on Clear Liquids for approx 1 month.

Good luck & prayers to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't need much of an excuse for surgery or recovery. Both were quick and easy for me.

What I have needed excuses for is how little I can eat. It won't matter if you dine with people infrequently, any excuse will work. But if people see you regularly eating 1-2 oz of food, and losing weight rapidly, they are going to ask questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/5/2018 at 10:07 PM, sillykitty said:

I have a question for those whom are able to stonewall and give non answers .... how do you do it?

There is no way in my professional life I would just be able to give non answers about my weight loss and eating habits.

This is also complicated by the fact I'm not willing to say, "I'm dieting, I'm watching what I eat", etc.. I have never admitted to having any issues with my weight. I have always projected confidence about who I am, and admitting to wanting to change myself would be acknowledging that was a lie.

Dining out is a a big part of my job. I may dine with some people a few times a year. But others I may have 3 meals a day with 3-4 days straight. The amount I can eat is so small (1-2 oz) it is always noticed. Even if I were to say "I'm watching what I eat", there is no way what I can eat is considered a healthy or balanced approach. No doubt people would assume I have an eating disorder.

Additionally, my weight loss has been so dramatic, it is not something that is achievable with normal dieting (if I was going to use the "watching what I eat" excuse). I know there are people at my company seriously concerned about my health. Some of this is genuine care. But a large part is succession planning. If I were to become suddenly unable to do my job, that would obviously cause a considerable problem.

So is my situation just unique? I can't imagine how I could not answer any questions about this day after day?

So - I fessed up to dieting. I said I was working with my medical team to get healthier and was on a very strict diet, if I was asked. Generally at group events, I wasn't - e.g. conferences with multiple meals with other members. No one is looking at the food on your plate. Just push it around and re-arrange it to make it look like you are eating it. Cut things up and move stuff around - you know like you did when you mother gave you something you didn't like as a kid.

As for the rest - I answer the question the same way after 2 years and 150 pounds from my highest pre-surgery weight - I worked with a medical team. I eat a diet that is very high in Protein and have given up processed foods, white flour and all non-fruit based sugars. I do not drink soda or alcohol. I exercise at least 1 hour a day and log every bite of food with an app to be accountable. It hasn't been easy but it has been worth it.

Generally, as soon as they hear you've given up sugar, bread, Pasta and booze, they run for the hills and change the subject.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told everyone at work I got a hernia remove (which was part of the gastric sleeve surgery so not total lie lol) and that I was in pain after so I was eating only a little bit and lost 18lbs within 3 weeks when I returned to work. I told them that motivated me to loose weight and I’m just sticking to it lol. I’m 4yrs post up now I see it as no big deal and do tell people. At that time only about 4 close friends new and my family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Neversaynever said:

I know you live in America, but I seriously wish you were my next door neighbour, I love your humour!

I second that!:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not too worried about talking about having to have surgery, once the time is close enough, to bring some of the workplace into the picture. I have to have surgery..doesn't really matter what the surgery is, even to HR as far as I'm concerned..just that I have to have it as per my doctors and here are the dates I need to be away. What I am thinking about is the rapid weight loss and how to explain that. That is an interesting one... Someone I did tell about this suggested I say that I had to go on a medically supervised diet and exercise program due to blood test results. Could work...I have lost 30 lbs already and that was due to some results in blood work (pre-diabetes, adema and blood flow in the heart) scared me big time so I cut all the garbage out! Then a couple of months later I get the call for the orientation for this program..it kind of all fell together at the same time..but..tests results can scare us straight..so to speak!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also had a hernia repair, and as far as everyone except my DIL knows, that is all I had. I told her because i may need the support later, andd she also works in healthcare, as I have. Did not tell my three adult children, mom or sister, and none of my friends. Fortunately I have been logging my diet for three years and they know that and that I had already lost 50 pounds. Also, most of my family doesnt even live in the same state, but in a nutshell, you should never feel an obligation to answer people's nosy questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No one is entitled to know this information but you and those you can trust. I only told my mom and husband and a couple who we dined with often. That is it. The surgery information is my health information and acquaintances and colleagues don’t need to know this information.

To those who ask about my weight loss, I let them know that I changed my lifestyle due to fear of Type 2 Diabetes. This is absolutely true!

In my humble opinion, many previous patients on this forum have lamented that they were criticized, judged, became the topic of conversation around the Water cooler, were frightened with horror stories, etc. when they told people who really didn’t need to know. In other words, my advice is to tell only those people you are sure will be supportive. You can always tell someone whenever the time is right for you, after the surgery to avoid regret.

If my journey will help someone down the road, I would be happy to share it with them. Until then, I’m so happy that this is my journey with people who I trust.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ shoelace if my parents hadn't talked me out of emigrating to Canada in 1967, I very easily could have been your neighbour. But many miles traveled and much Water under the bridge since then. I held on to a canful of BC soil from that summer, someday when I die ---I hope to have it put on my grave.💦

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First let me say - its your story and your choice with whom you want to share it! However, I had the same fear especially where family was concerned.

Family was a pleasant surprise! I was really nervous telling them because I had a major hand injury at the the end of FEB and wound needing two surgeries to repair it. I used that time to jump through the hoops for this surgery. I thought my family would really be upset that I chose a third "optional" surgery. I know its not an option its necessary. So I told them all at a family dinner one night and was thrilled at their support. They had all been harboring concerns about my weight and were glad I was taking control!

Work has been supportive because a well liked guy recently had it and it has made a big difference for him. So they are happy for me.

Friends have been mostly supportive. I have one good friend who seems to be keeping her distance because she is trying to lose naturally. I fell like she is either judging my choice as the easy way out or afraid if she talk to me she will want to do it,, but I don"t think her spouse is on board with that.

It's your journey! Live it and share based on your needs!

Good Luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

@ shoelace if my parents hadn't talked me out of emigrating to Canada in 1967, I very easily could have been your neighbour. But many miles traveled and much Water under the bridge since then. I held on to a canful of BC soil from that summer, someday when I die ---I hope to have it put on my grave.💦

I'm the opposite. Family emigrated from SK to the states. I'm trying convince my family to go back but they're stubborn Canadians :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/5/2018 at 10:07 PM, sillykitty said:

I have a question for those whom are able to stonewall and give non answers .... how do you do it?

There is no way in my professional life I would just be able to give non answers about my weight loss and eating habits.

This is also complicated by the fact I'm not willing to say, "I'm dieting, I'm watching what I eat", etc.. I have never admitted to having any issues with my weight. I have always projected confidence about who I am, and admitting to wanting to change myself would be acknowledging that was a lie.

Dining out is a a big part of my job. I may dine with some people a few times a year. But others I may have 3 meals a day with 3-4 days straight. The amount I can eat is so small (1-2 oz) it is always noticed. Even if I were to say "I'm watching what I eat", there is no way what I can eat is considered a healthy or balanced approach. No doubt people would assume I have an eating disorder.

Additionally, my weight loss has been so dramatic, it is not something that is achievable with normal dieting (if I was going to use the "watching what I eat" excuse). I know there are people at my company seriously concerned about my health. Some of this is genuine care. But a large part is succession planning. If I were to become suddenly unable to do my job, that would obviously cause a considerable problem.

So is my situation just unique? I can't imagine how I could not answer any questions about this day after day?

I'm just impressed you know what succession planning is!! : )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 08/08/2018 at 3:59 PM, Frustr8 said:

@ shoelace if my parents hadn't talked me out of emigrating to Canada in 1967, I very easily could have been your neighbour. But many miles traveled and much Water under the bridge since then. I held on to a canful of BC soil from that summer, someday when I die ---I hope to have it put on my grave.💦

21 hours ago, Marisol Unda said:

I'm the opposite. Family emigrated from SK to the states. I'm trying convince my family to go back but they're stubborn Canadians :D

Well anytime you feel like wandering by for a visit at least, let me know! :) Bring some interesting shakes from the states..bloody expensive up here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh they are going to 💘 me at the border. When they ask me," Do you have anything to declare?" I'll be ready." Your healthcare is better, your prescription prices are better but your bariatric Protein Shakes are overpriced. I have a cooler-full. Go ahead and look , no pointed objects there!" And perhaps after he picks himself up off the ground he'll let me in. If not he'll push me back across the border to Port Angeles Washington, "Here take her back she's a dangerous individual!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/5/2018 at 2:26 PM, KennyJenks said:

Or did you make up a fake procedure like I’m considering doing, or what? Please share.

Told the people at work that me and 4 others in my building put $1,000 each into a pot and the person who lost the most weight by years end wins.(Dec 31, 2017) I told everyone I came in a distant second. Now, I tell everyone we have a second bet, who can keep the most weight off by years end. (Dec 31, 2018) In the building I tell people , it's a bet with 4 others at work. So far so good. BTW, I'm winning the bet for the most weight lost being kept off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×