Body Dysmorphia

[She_whirls 204]

**weight came off not over**

[Frustr8 7,886]

You have given me much to think about. I had a mental image that I was stocky then I looked in the mirror and realized I am really OBESE. Now I am wondering what size my mind will think I am after surgery? Until my clothes start to get loose,my pants fall down and my tops fall off one shoulder will be able to believe I am really losing weight? The main benefit I have seen with my pre surgery weight loss is my rump has gotten flatter, this is a mixed blessing because I can't stand hard furniture and wooden chairs anymore. Excuse me while I have a PLOM moment. PLOM stands for poor little old me. 😯

[Missouri-Lee's Summit 1,256]

I didn't really comprehend my size until I saw a video of myself. A static photo is one thing, but seeing my almost 300lb body walking, bending... or in my case sitting on a wooden porch swing next to my mother... is something I won't soon forget.

If seeing my huge body on video wasn't disturbing enough, during the video I heard the swing crack as soon as I sat down. I couldn't stand up fast enough! The thing is, I didn't want to sit down and actually told my sister (who was recording the video) so. I had a bad feeling and I didn't want to sit on that dumb swing. "Oh, go ahead and sit down beside Mom. It'll be fun."

Not only can I still picture my huge body sitting down on that porch swing, but I also have lingering and humiliating sound effects in my head, too.

Body dysmorphia + body dysphonia! = I WILL NEVER AGREE TO BE VIDEO-TAPED AGAIN.

The Greek root word phon means “sound.” It's a real word for an actual speech disorder; however, I made it up here to apply to my own embarrassing experience.

Edited July 21, 2018 by Missouri-Lee's Summit

[funky_monkey800 242]

I totally relate....with all of this. I see old pictures of myself and it freaks me out. I look so huge next to my husband and it will make me sad. I didnt realize how big i actually was. And not once did he ever say a word about getting bigger or gaining weight. Even now i have body issues....when i work out all i see is flabby skin. Even though i am pretty fit. And i see muscle definition. im always getting clothes that are way too big, and i still get nervous trying on clothes in a store...

Maybe it just takes some time for our minds to catch up.

[Frustr8 7,886]

In a way you had it nice Mr Monkey didn't say anything. I had the opposite situation I had a verbally abusive model that missed few opportunities to ridicule and degridate me for my size whole being 50 lbs most of time heavier and only slightly taller. Why did I put up with it? In hindsight, I got married in the 60s when we were told to suck it up, realize it was our lot in life and not to make waves. And having a husband was only goal we could have in life. Thank God things have changed, but it changed too late for me. But I am now me and you know, it's prettydoggone cool to live and lose the weight. 😛👍❤

[funky_monkey800 242]

1 hour ago, Frustr8 said:

In a way you had it nice Mr Monkey didn't say anything. I had the opposite situation I had a verbally abusive model that missed few opportunities to ridicule and degridate me for my size whole being 50 lbs most of time heavier and only slightly taller. Why did I put up with it? In hindsight, I got married in the 60s when we were told to suck it up, realize it was our lot in life and not to make waves. And having a husband was only goal we could have in life. Thank God things have changed, but it changed too late for me. But I am now me and you know, it's prettydoggone cool to live and lose the weight. 😛👍❤

Im so sorry! And you know its never too late to be happy! I hope things are better for you!

And i agree! Cool to live & lose weight!♡

[Jolexis 203]

I completely understand your perspective op! I’ve only been obese the past 5 years. It’s still shocking to see the way I look in the mirror and in pictures. It’s like my mind hadn’t made the connection until the past year of how truly large I was and that’s when I knew I needed to make a change.