Scared thinking of canceling surgery

[logicwand 269]

My family has influenced my decisions since I was very young. They are pretty controlling. In my late 30s I began therapy because of my depression and realized I was afraid to make my own decisions because they were usually made for me. Since then I have become much more comfortable with who I am, taking my life in my own hands, and not letting them influence my decisions anymore. They mean well and we love each other. But I have my own beliefs and have had to learn that it's okay and they are just as valid as my family's beliefs. And regarding the surgery, I of course have a lot of the same sentiments as my family, so that gives you pause. But the one thing thing that kept me on that operating table was thinking about how I'd feel in 10 years. I'd be in more pain and regret not reclaiming my life earlier.

[gisy87 13]

My family has influenced my decisions since I was very young. They are pretty controlling. In my late 30s I began therapy because of my depression and realized I was afraid to make my own decisions because they were usually made for me. Since then I have become much more comfortable with who I am, taking my life in my own hands, and not letting them influence my decisions anymore. They mean well and we love each other. But I have my own beliefs and have had to learn that it's okay and they are just as valid as my family's beliefs. And regarding the surgery, I of course have a lot of the same sentiments as my family, so that gives you pause. But the one thing thing that kept me on that operating table was thinking about how I'd feel in 10 years. I'd be in more pain and regret not reclaiming my life earlier.

Don’t cancel your surgery I had so many fears and doubts about getting surgery myself but my doctors let me know it is in my best interest to get the surgery to improve my health and family wanting me to do it to then changing their minds and trying to talk me out of it my family not the doctors but the risks are minimal and this surgery is a step in the right direction I’m a bit scared and nervous my surgery is next week and it’s been a long road for me before I made the decision to do this i asked so many people in my life for advice on what to do but when I thought about it I had to realize that it was my decision to make and I didn’t make the decision based on anyone’s opinion but on why I needed this surgery and what I wanted to achieve after and believe me I know what it feels like to try and try to do things on your own and make your own decisions and hoping it’s the right one and wanting or needing someone’s advice and letting them take the wheel in your life when I couldn’t steer but you are your own motivator don’t allow yourself to sabotage what you want to accomplish do to fear because then you will regret it think about the progress you’ve been making going to seek help for depression that’s a huge step I know what that’s like I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression almost my entire life but I got help and with that first step it got me moving in the right direction and made my fears of many things diminish one by one but I would like to wish you good luck and I hope things get better wishing you all the best

[dgirl1229 36]

Thank you for your comment. I’m so scared right now[emoji17]. I have to start my liquid diet tomorrow and I pretty much need to decide by then.

I’m March 12 also. I’ve been in liquid diet for 2 weeks. I’m scared to! It’s very scary and I’m a little under the weather right now to. The thought of postponing and starting over....no way!! I’m keeping my eye on the prize. I know I’ll go into the hospital on Monday, go to sleep and when I wake up it will be the start of my new life and that get me excited!

[BRENDAJAIN 6]

I was the same way. I had my surgery on Monday. I didn’t think much of it until the morning of where I started crying to my husband. I felt very bad, but then I went to the hospital and I was thinking that right before the surgery I was going to tell them not to do it, but when I was in the table I only thought of the good things and my reasons why I looked into this in the first place. What do I want and what do I want my family to have, yes I’m doing it for myself but also for my family. Find your reasons and think about them while you go and get this done.

[newmebithebypass 713]

I'm sorry you are having doubts and your family isn't super supportive but just remember this is your life and you have to live it. No one knows your body better than you ok do it for you I almost went thru the program 2 years ago and backed out now I'm about 60 pounds heavier and in more pain so do this for you ok hon it's gonna be ok I'm here for you. Surgery is scary I've been thru about 6 of em but you'll do fine

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[melsabells 64]

I was told by a family member the only safe option was the balloon. Mind you his industry is agriculture...

you have to listen to to your heart. I can’t say to or not to do it. Make your decision for you and you alone. Family can mean well but only you can make the choice.

[dreamangel1974 38]

In addition to your fear, it sounds like you are wired to be a people pleaser like me! I totally understand where you’re coming from!

My husband was dead set against me having any form of weight loss surgery when I first brought it up, and didn’t even want to discuss it. There are so many reasons for our loved ones to react negatively...fear, misinformation, etc. In my husband’s case, fear was definitely a factor, but after doing some digging, I found out that a kooky doctor that he follows religiously is against WLS and he was misinformed as well.

Thankfully, my husband has since come around and is supporting me and my choice...even though he’d rather I lose weight through a more natural method. He is the only person that I felt I absolutely needed to be on board since it will affect our lifestyle in such a huge way, and I would like his support during each stage of this journey.

I have carefully chosen who else I’m sharing this journey with, and have left out several family members because of the way I think they might react. I read the book Boundaries a couple of years ago, and it has led me to build healthier relationships overall. In addition, I have pulled away emotionally from those who refused to acknowledge and respect the boundaries that I set. It has truly been life changing for me, and perhaps could be for you as well. (Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud)

I do think it is important to have a healthy support system in place when we embark on a journey of this magnitude, but I would focus on quality rather that quantity of supporters. Perhaps you have a friend or two who would agree to be your support system if you choose to move forward with surgery in spite of your family’s resistance. Of course, this forum is a great place to find support as well. I wish you all the best, and hope you make the right decision for you. [emoji173]️

[Sarahrosesb 12]

Just an update everyone. My surgery has been postponed due to insurance approval issues. In a way I’m glad I have more time to think of all my fears. I did more research and concluded lap band is way riskier than the sleeve so I informed my family about the complications and their coming around. Thank you everyone for your kind words they are greatly appreciated!

[frust8 962]

God Bless and Keep You Sarah!

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[FloridaGal1976 77]

Please don't let your family cause you to miss this opportunity for a healthier z happier you! I'm sure they have your best interests at heart, and they mean no harm, but your decision should not take their opinions into account. There's too much at stake to worry about opinions of non-medical professionals. Do what's in YOUR best interests.

HW 241
SW 238
CW 217
GW 130
Sleeved 3/1/18

[Seahawks Fan 771]

On 3/8/2018 at 1:08 AM, Sarahrosesb said:

Thank you for your support it’s greatly appreciated. I want a new life so bad! This fear though is debilitating and I literally have four days till surgery. My family is praying for me that I make the right decision so I’m gonna leave it to God right now. Being in this body is like a prison though I have lost out on so much opportunities you would think it would be a easy decision but my fear is in control 😩. Again thank you!

Right when you get there tell them you want something to calm you down. Also ask for a patch behind your ear for nausea. You got this. Just follow the pre-op diet & drink lots of Water. You’ll be fine. Remember you have to do this for you! It don’t matter what ANYONE else thinks or says. It’s 100% up to you. You got this!!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

On 3/10/2018 at 4:15 AM, Sarahrosesb said:

have more time to think of all my fears!

@Sarahrosesb

bummer about insurance issues causing surgery delay

it's been a week since your update, any news from insurance?

glad that you came to the wise conclusion to have sleeve instead of lap band.

having time to go back and forth debating about WLS can be a bad thing.

too much time to think and change your mind daily, even hour to hour!

take a breath, flip a coin - kkkkkidding LOL

i "vote" to have the surgery

i was sleeved 6+ years ago - never looked back

good luck with your decision

kathy

[frust8 962]

And as former scared rabbit for most of my life I second it!

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[ProudGrammy 8,322]

attention all lappers

it must be hard hearing OP criticizing your band

no disrespect to lappers personally - just expressing what we've heard about the band

continued good luck to allll lappers, and everyone else!!

kathy

[teacherlady095 17]

The band is more dangerous with higher complication rates than the gastric bypass and gastric sleeve. Most lap band patients also end up doing a revision surgery to bypass or sleeve. The success rate is not as good and fewer surgeons are performing this operation.

That is what I’m currently doing! Don’t waste your time on the band! I have one and will be sleeved April 27!