Who will like me skinny??

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Attraction is a weird animal, it can be started by eye contact, a sly smile, the voice, the rear view, rogue haircut...etc The initial impression can then be reinforced or completely spoiled by behavior or personality or lack of education. (Also bad kisser)

A person has to be well groomed, and in my experience a lot of obese people lack self esteem and as a consequence neglect themselves, not all, but a great many. No hairstyle, sloppy clothes, not smiling, not making eye contact, slouching, etc. (I also see normal weight people disheveled as well, but percentages are higher in the overweight category)

In my past, I have only had a couple flirting/dating occasions with obese men (not morbid, just obese) but they had on suits or stylish clothes, polished shoes, smelled devine, smiled, could hold a conversation beyond the weather, and were polite. I would not have eliminated them based on being obese.

My husband of 20 years is normal weight, is an amazing man - but did not have the looks that normally attract me - (dark hair, dark eyes, grinning, witty-chatter-tight-jean-wearing dude) - BUT he is super intelligent, blond (ish), responsible, respectful, loves to dance, loves music, reads, and the best kisser....and at times still surprising. And loves me entirely for me - that is key, as we all know you cannot fall in love with just part of a person - and you cannot change anyone.

[Daveo 485]

5 hours ago, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

The right kind of man will cherish you for the woman you are! Being a guy and having the surgery that dated someone who also has had it was beneficial for the both of us. Cheap dates and a lot in common! since I'm single again I'm hoping to find another WLS person, just seems easier that way.

Edited March 1, 2018 by Daveo

[Mattymatt 491]

6 hours ago, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

You're wise to stay away from dating until you get to goal weight. The last thing you want is something to derail you. I am choosing the same path. I think once you get to goal weight, you'll have a much broader range to date from. I am 40 and there isn't a huge market for overweight, disabled, and unemployed guys right now. LOL! But work on one thing at a time. That's all you can do.

[Marissa37 54]

IM from NYC and theres plenty of overweight people that take good care of themselves well groomed, nails, hair etc Im one of them. I see no problem with treating someone as a sex object as long as its mutual in fact its one of my fears after losing weight. I have a problem with a addiction to food or exercise always from one extreme to another and a addiction to sex thank goodness im married but that doesnt satisfy me. Im social but always stay in safe environments school, church with family im always around people i know but im afraid of navigating the world at a lower weight I have to be honest I really try hard not to cheat I have 15 years with my husband

Edited March 1, 2018 by Marissa37

[336Mike 549]

Who will like you skinny? From my experience it'll be a mix. Some will be people who wouldn't have had anything to do with you at your current weight. That's ok, people are entitled to like what they like. Others won't care one way or the other. You are a beautiful woman. The key is finding someone who likes you for you and vice versa. At the end of the day, don't worry if they're going to like you...you should really be asking yourself if they are worthy of you.

VSG 10/11/17 HW= 360 SW= 292 CW= 224.4 GW= 220 (6'5")

[BrittneyH 45]

13 hours ago, 336Mike said:

Who will like you skinny? From my experience it'll be a mix. Some will be people who wouldn't have had anything to do with you at your current weight. That's ok, people are entitled to like what they like. Others won't care one way or the other. You are a beautiful woman. The key is finding someone who likes you for you and vice versa. At the end of the day, don't worry if they're going to like you...you should really be asking yourself if they are worthy of you.

VSG 10/11/17 HW= 360 SW= 292 CW= 224.4 GW= 220 (6'5")

That is great advise! Yes I guess it is ok if they only like skinny girls. I am normally attracted to skinny guys too so I can't be mad about that. I do know I deserve an amazing man. I guess maybe I will have more options.

[336Mike 549]

That is great advise! Yes I guess it is ok if they only like skinny girls. I am normally attracted to skinny guys too so I can't be mad about that. I do know I deserve an amazing man. I guess maybe I will have more options.

Exactly!!

VSG 10/11/17 HW= 360 SW= 292 CW= 224.4 GW= 220 (6'5")

[Gagsy 62]

Dating is the thing I'm most nervous and yet most excited about at the same time.

I'm my own worst enemy because I always think "why should I like someone ago wouldn't like me when I was fat?" But I know that is the wrong approach to have.

I'm sure once you meet a guy who gives you the eye and you return it, all your worries will be forgotten.

Sure, he could be a scumbag but then so can anybody. Don't be afraid to love.


Sent from my HTC 10 using BariatricPal mobile app

[sgc 538]

Women didn't like me before and don't like me skinny so that can only mean one thing. The size of the packaging doesn't matter if what's inside is damaged goods.

[frust8 962]

Not damaged just didn't meet their needs, their loss not yours

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Mattymatt 491]

On 2/28/2018 at 8:13 PM, Daveo said:

The right kind of man will cherish you for the woman you are! Being a guy and having the surgery that dated someone who also has had it was beneficial for the both of us. Cheap dates and a lot in common! since I'm single again I'm hoping to find another WLS person, just seems easier that way.

Hey dude! Don't limit yourself to someone who had the surgery. Good people can be found if you don't limit yourself.

[FluffyChix 17,409]

On 2/28/2018 at 2:53 PM, Creekimp13 said:

This is a bizarre question to me.

I really don't understand superficiality. I don't consider other people to be meat. Or sex puppets. That's the most simplistic silly view I can imagine, and I wouldn't want to live a life so limited.

The most attraction I've ever felt for people in my life has been based on their minds, their creativity, their passion, their confidence, their sex appeal, their kindness, humor, decency.

I can find about anyone incredibly attractive. Seriously. Physicality is insanely diverse. If you're limiting yourself to any particular type, you're missing out.

I can find about anyone incredibly appealing. IF their mind is outstanding, if their ability to express themselves is immaculate, if we have commonality and trust.

Finding someone with an amazing mind is so much harder than finding someone with an amazing body. Amazing bodies are a dime a dozen.

So much of our perception of what's attractive...is informed by the people we are most impressed by and feel love and trust for.

I'm sorry. But this was a brilliant rebuttal!!

And then my dirty little Johnny brain got hung up on sex puppets. Let me shout it, cuz I find it so funny!!! SEX PUPPETS!

Hahaaha. Remember the movie Groove Tube? Think it was made in the 60s or early 70s. They showed it at the outdoor theater on campus freshman year. I cracked up cuz there were d**k puppets dressed up like faces at the end. Laughed for days. I'm so friggin immature.

Great reply @Creekimp13 You won the internet with it. (even without the sex puppet part)

[Bhageerah 161]

On 2/28/2018 at 2:52 PM, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

My dear, there will be plenty of men out there! I will be perfectly honest with you I like my wimmen curvy. But at the same time the figure does not make or break the relationship. It is in the personality of the woman, if the guy doesn't see the " real" you then please leave the no good, non deserving bastard by the road and move on! You deserve the best and if he can not support you on your journey then he obviously isn't worth your time to begin with!

[BrittneyH 45]

On ‎3‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 6:24 PM, Bhageerah said:

My dear, there will be plenty of men out there! I will be perfectly honest with you I like my wimmen curvy. But at the same time the figure does not make or break the relationship. It is in the personality of the woman, if the guy doesn't see the " real" you then please leave the no good, non deserving bastard by the road and move on! You deserve the best and if he can not support you on your journey then he obviously isn't worth your time to begin with!

thank you! that is so true.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I also don't think you should wait till goal to dare. As I'm 30 lbs from goal I'm sure I'll look different from 160s to 130s but people ask me on a date . I go lol. You have to her practice too at dating lol. I'm happy with my body now and will someone who likes 160s like me at 130 hmm who knows but it doesn't matter really because I might not like them by then either. It's just a date so go for it.

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