My husband is dead set against me having wls. Any advice on how to overcome that?

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Good point
[mention=98688]dreamangel1974[/mention] would you be open to going through the process without his support?

No. She clearly wouldn't . That's obvious.

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Wow! This seems to be a real hot button issue for many people. I am happy to report that my husband is coming around and seems willing to at least support me and my decision, even if he really wishes I wouldn’t have surgery.

I appreciate all of the helpful comments and concern about this issue and the state of my marriage. Someone mentioned underlying or unresolved issues, and you are absolutely right! We have worked together on multiple issues, but personal growth takes time. The reason I am committed to make the marriage work is that I see a desire and willingness in my husband for continued growth. He has many redeeming qualities that offset his occasional fall back into controlling behavior. Old habits die hard, but we are both working on our individual issues to make our marriage successful. [emoji173]️

Sorry. Sounds your husband cheated with all this hard work. My friends talk the same as you. Could be wrong .

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Wow! This seems to be a real hot button issue for many people. I am happy to report that my husband is coming around and seems willing to at least support me and my decision, even if he really wishes I wouldn’t have surgery.

I appreciate all of the helpful comments and concern about this issue and the state of my marriage. Someone mentioned underlying or unresolved issues, and you are absolutely right! We have worked together on multiple issues, but personal growth takes time. The reason I am committed to make the marriage work is that I see a desire and willingness in my husband for continued growth. He has many redeeming qualities that offset his occasional fall back into controlling behavior. Old habits die hard, but we are both working on our individual issues to make our marriage successful. [emoji173]️

In what way is he controlling out of curiosity?

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[Travelher 915]

On 2/13/2018 at 7:40 PM, dreamangel1974 said:

For the first time in a long time, I have been feeling so hopeful about the possibility of having weight loss surgery after regaining weight I lost doing Weight Watchers. My husband completely deflated that hopeful bubble tonight when he told me that he won’t even discuss it. He basically thinks it’s taking the easy way out, and instead, wants me to try another diet with him. Anyone else who has encountered this obstacle and found a way to overcome it without wrecking your marriage?

he is ignorant to the reality. your excess weight could kill you. I suggest you go to youtube and start watching dr weiner's videos. he has a great way of explaining why bariatric surgery works where diet and exercise doesn't.

[sideeye 1,440]

Remind him that doing this surgery right now is a way to prevent doing even more surgeries in future. I do not want to get knee replacements. I do not want a hip replacement. I do not want mysterious foot ligament issues that make it hard to walk any sort of distance. ALL of those things were awaiting me, and that's not even taking into account all of the metabolic and cardiac disorders.

My take on it is this is a preventative measure, and a good one with a very good chance of success. And having seen my father nurse my mom through two arthritis-related knee replacements? This surgery is FAR less complex and your recovery time significantly more compressed.

If his objections are more along the lines of "but then who's going to cook my favorite gumbo" and "I don't want to feel uncomfortable if you're not eating during football games", then that's a different situation entirely. Similarly if he likes being the slimmer of the two of you, that could be an unspoken hurdle. But from the health angle, there's no question.

[domi 237]

My husband was the same way. When it came down to it, he was scared to lose me. I reminded him of all the diets I have tried and all of the trainers and videos I have done over the past 5 years. I also showed him letters from my psychologist, nutritionist, trainer and doctor who are all supporting surgery. This surgery I am doing for myself, but I am also doing it for my family. I want to be healthy and around for the important memories we will be making in our future. If I do not take care of me, I may not be able to take care of him. Slowly he came around. He still wishes I could do it naturally, but I showed him all the research I have done and he understands I did not make this decision quickly.

Best of luck to you on your journey.

[MNgirl1234 41]

I am going through a similar situation. My husband tells me that having surgery is the easy way out and that he's afraid I'll fail and then get even more depressed about my weight. He is as also morbidly obese and I suspect that he's afraid I might not want him if I "get skinny". I'm guessing your hubby might feel the same way. I've already scheduled my surgery for April 18th and although I respect my husband's opinion, nobody will stand in the way of my choice. It is your health and your body. Best wishes to you on your journey!

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[newmebithebypass 713]

My hubby is obese and while I wish he would have the surgery one day too he's not comfortable with the idea of it and I respect that but he also has the same mutual respect for me and my decision even though he kind of enables my bad habits but I love him so yeah mutual respect nothing is off topic for discussion in our marriage I wouldn't have that

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