Why is it a secret?

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I really did ask this question from a place of innocent curiosity. I appreciate the honest answers. Since asking the question I have actually had a rude awakening on why I SHOULD have used more discretion on who I told. I had a lady at work come up to me the other day and say she had heard I'm going to Mexico for surgery soon. Now this is a person I probably would have told on my own had we had a conversation about it, but it bothered me. I got to thinking about it and realized the office is buzzing with people talking about me. I've experienced that enough in my past. Now when I'm at work all I can think about is people fat shaming me behind my back. So yeah, I regret being so open. Plus I'm super scared to fail now that everyone knows.

I was also going to say everyone will watch you putting food in your mouth. I don't wish to be you. I'm happy to be on this secret journey. Very peaceful. Some people don't mind all the issues that come with being open more power to them.its not for me.


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[trying4me 56]

i have decided not to tell people about my surgery also. In the past six years I have had both breast cancer and thyroid cancer. You would be amazed at what people think is ok to say to someone going through cancer. So I don't want the unwanted advise from people about this surgery. everyone seems to have an opinion on and I have chosen to listen only to my close family. It is going to be very tough trying to work around Christmas dinner however. Still trying to figure out how I can be there with thirty people and be the only one not eating!

I dealt with this at a bunch of work meetings/work days at about 4 weeks out. I just grabbed minimal food and pushed it around my plate. People are so busy talking that no one notices. Trust me, you are the only one paying attention. And you can always say you just have an upset stomach

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[xoxococojay 842]

I've seen so many people posting about not telling anyone about their surgery or being mad if someone finds out. I'm just curious why you don't want people to know? I've told basically everyone in my life. It's a huge deal to me. I'm excited about it and don't want to hide it. I'm not judging. Everyone is different, I'm just curious.

I absolutely love these questions.

It's simple, we just don't want anyone in our business. The last thing i care to hear is have everyone in my life watch me like a hawk to see how much i've lost, or what i'm eating like i'm a freaking alien. Plus if i hear someone judge me and tell me i'm taking the easy way out, i'll have quite a few words for them too.

Give me credit for something positive instead like taking control of my life back, eating right, working out like crazy. If those things alone were easy, obesity wouldn't be such a problem.

Plus it also affects some of my friendships too from a jealousy perspective.

[xoxococojay 842]

I absolutely love these questions.

It's simple, we just don't want anyone in our business. The last thing i care to hear is have everyone in my life watch me like a hawk to see how much i've lost, or what i'm eating like i'm a freaking alien. Plus if i hear someone judge me and tell me i'm taking the easy way out, i'll have quite a few words for them too.

Give me credit for something positive instead like taking control of my life back, eating right, working out like crazy. If those things alone were easy, obesity wouldn't be such a problem.

Plus it also affects some of my friendships too from a jealousy perspective.

Totally forgot to mention that just because we aren't telling the world doesn't mean it's truly a secret. I'm very open and transparent amongst the bariatric community, so much so that i volunteer and mentor patients at my local bariatric surgery center. And i'm in 4 support groups online, trying to help others going through the process. I'm willing to help them in any way possible. I just get easily annoyed with random strangers asking me to many questions lol, when they have nothing positive to gain from it. So people know but it's who i chose to inform.

[Determinedinkenrucky 20]

While my surgery isn't a secret, I just don't broadcast it... My hubby and children are very supportive, but...my best friend who went to all the appointments (until recently) is not. She is trying to discourage me and attempting to sabotage my pre op diet .... I don't understand her behavior, or her reasoning for it... (She says its too dangerous.) and she send me links to articles on anything bad or negative about it... I told her last week to stop and if she couldn't be supportive of my decisions then we would need to reevaluate our friendship... Surgery was scheduled yesterday for December 18th, and I'm not telling her.... Just making a FB post that I'm going to take some time to myself and recuperate....

I don't care what other's think....but I just can't deal with anymore negativity over it....

[xoxococojay 842]

While my surgery isn't a secret, I just don't broadcast it... My hubby and children are very supportive, but...my best friend who went to all the appointments (until recently) is not. She is trying to discourage me and attempting to sabotage my pre op diet .... I don't understand her behavior, or her reasoning for it... (She says its too dangerous.) and she send me links to articles on anything bad or negative about it... I told her last week to stop and if she couldn't be supportive of my decisions then we would need to reevaluate our friendship... Surgery was scheduled yesterday for December 18th, and I'm not telling her.... Just making a FB post that I'm going to take some time to myself and recuperate....
I don't care what other's think....but I just can't deal with anymore negativity over it....

That's exactly how my own family reacted. I didn't tell them until the day before.

[VSG_Meow_Bitch 30]

Thats sucks about ur friends. She is just worried and doesn't understand how beneficial the surgery really is

[moondoggie1983 202]

Who's catty? Who said she shouldn't tell people or that I had an issue with anyone telling people.

Don't be dramatic . It was simple I found it ironic she was called under cover diet asking why people hide it I found it funny.
I didn't even read your whole message as it doesn't even make any sense lol as I didn't say anything about others telling people I answered the question. Bye

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You didn’t make a comment about her name in a funny way. And before you made that comment, you commented on everything everyone said. You went way beyond answering the question and into being rude. If you can’t be nice, well...

[moondoggie1983 202]

I knew this would happen. I was going to say let's wait and see how excited she is about exposing her self. But people will call you catty. At the end of the day I have no regrets for not telling people who have no importance to me..more people regretting telling people..

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And if you’re talking about how excited I am? The answer is VERY. And I never said I told people who were unimportant to me. Quite the opposite. And everyone is happy and supportive so I have absolutely no regrets.