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Feeling sad after surgery...



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I'm 4 days post op and sitting here crying as I write this. I'm doing this all alone, no one knows I've done this, not even my immediate family. They all live out of town or in different states. All they know is that I had the hiatal hernia repair. I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I had thought about doing this surgery for years, but didn't want the negative feedback from people (including family) who don't understand, plus I was kind of scared to do it. But I finally decided to do it and now have fears that something will go wrong. I was also starting to have medical issues and lots of knee pain making it very difficult to get around, which was my final decision to do this. I live alone with my small dog. I don't feel good today, have trouble getting my shakes down without them going right through me. I just want this whole process to run smoothly and feel good again. Anyone in the same boat I am?

Thanks!

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Hi sweetheart (tpar) I feel your pain, and sweetie you are never alone. God is your closest friend, and He will send you who you need in times like these. No that you will make it through this, and we are all here to cheer you on. My surgery is the 25th and I'm nervous, and I know it's not going to be easy, but I must encourage myself as well as others. Say a thank prayer in your down time, and watch the LORD lift up your head, and make you smile 😁🤗 see... I see you smiling hard. You go girl..... You're going to do great and be fabulous 😇

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I told my dad after the fact, and he was shockingly supportive. He knows the family history and he was proud of me for taking control to prevent future health problems.

In fact, I've only told a few, and they've all been great. People might surprise you.

I hope you feel better soon. There is so much going on in your poor body right now. Hugs!

Sent from my XT1254 using BariatricPal mobile app

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Hi Tpar09! I am 9 days out and post op can definitely be a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Day 5 for me felt like I turned a bit of a corner as far as feeling better and more like myself again. Honestly, each day has been a little better than the last. Like you, I have not told my family as I did not think they would be supportive but have told close friends. Hang in there there! Wishing you a speedy recovery and better days to come....

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Gailkindo, thank you for your kind words! It's just so frustrating sometimes. Right now I'm dealing with trying to get these leg squeezer things to work, which aren't working properly. It's so hard getting them on and off by myself, as every time I lean forward I feel the pain from my major incision. I envy those that have support from others. And yes God is there for me, thankfully! ❤️ I wish you the best in your surgery and a speedy recovery!

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Oh wow!! I can't imagine doing this alone. You are so brave and so strong!! We are here to listen and help. These first weeks are the hardest and most emotional. This is a hard, arduous process that is the opposite of the Easy Way Out. We are badass warriors who do this despite being scared and sometimes alone. I want you to know that I truly believe you are a hero for doing this. We are saving our own lives and it's hard. You are gonna LOVE your life soon. You are going to be walking, then running and that's when we start to fly. You are going to feel great! This is a strange process, learning a new way of life that lets us live a life we only dreamed of.

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone and sad, You are a freaking amazing wonder and please try to remember that.

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Awe, thank you so much for your kind words! I needed that more than you know! Now I'm crying happy tears. You are so sweet! This has been so hard keeping it a secret from everyone, and doing it all on my own. My insurance co wouldn't even cover this. :( While I was in the hospital the nurse asked me why I decided to do this. I broke down and told her I felt the need to do something for me for a change. I've always been there for everyone else, and I could feel my body falling apart, and I want to be able to be there to enjoy grandchildren some day. She told me sometimes we have to do things for ourselves. That's where I've been at. My daughter is getting married next year so my goal is to look good at her wedding. Thank you again for your kind words! ❤️

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This board is so great for support, questions and answers about what you/we are going through. If you were not going to have support from your family/friends, it's better that you didn't tell them. No one knew for me except for my husband and sister in law who had the surgery. I had to fake it at work, and with my friends and family. You will be okay and be more awesome when you start to feel better. Not going to lie, the first 6 weeks or so are a bit rough because you are getting used to a new way of living while recovering. I feel so much better now and lighter to boot. Good luck!

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1 hour ago, Tpar09 said:

I'm 4 days post op and sitting here crying as I write this. I'm doing this all alone, no one knows I've done this, not even my immediate family. They all live out of town or in different states. All they know is that I had the hiatal hernia repair. I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I had thought about doing this surgery for years, but didn't want the negative feedback from people (including family) who don't understand, plus I was kind of scared to do it. But I finally decided to do it and now have fears that something will go wrong. I was also starting to have medical issues and lots of knee pain making it very difficult to get around, which was my final decision to do this. I live alone with my small dog. I don't feel good today, have trouble getting my shakes down without them going right through me. I just want this whole process to run smoothly and feel good again. Anyone in the same boat I am?

Thanks!

First of all, welcome to the boards here. I'm 4 months out now but surgery still feels like yesterday. It must be difficult to do this on your own, but when you get to the other side of the difficulties you are currently experiencing you will be all the stronger for it. The first week is so rough, and many people have said they started feeling better around day 5. Hang in there! Focus on the small improvements as they build up day by day, take this one day at a time, and have your surgeon's office # on speed dial if you are experiencing any symptoms you want to run by them.

The boards here are a great source of support and information. Sometimes there's some friction and negativity, but the best thing to do is ignore those moments and focus on your journey. There are plenty of kind and knowledgeable people willing to help :)

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This board is so great for support, questions and answers about what you/we are going through. If you were not going to have support from your family/friends, it's better that you didn't tell them. No one knew for me except for my husband and sister in law who had the surgery. I had to fake it at work, and with my friends and family. You will be okay and be more awesome when you start to feel better. Not going to lie, the first 6 weeks or so are a bit rough because you are getting used to a new way of living while recovering. I feel so much better now and lighter to boot. Good luck!

No one for me except my husband and niece who had the surgery too.
I am so much happier not having told anyone. In time as more weight comes off I will say what feels right in the moment.[emoji4]

HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1" instagram: K_aane_VSG

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You know, it's crazy how your family and friends can be so supportive of you in many things but then when it comes to something like this I knew they would be trying to talk me out of it. Especially my kids, as they would be worried about me more than anything, and on the other hand trying to tell me to "just eat right." I've tried "just eating right" and it only last so long, and then I gain more weight than I had weighed before. It's a never ending cycle. And I could see it effecting my health. I was miserable and could hardly get around due to my knee pain. My knees already feel better and my my blood pressure is better than it's been in 20 years! So, I have to keep telling myself I'm doing this for me and I am getting better! :)

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@Tpar09

I live alone and none of my family or friends live near me. My friend flew in from the coast to be with me when I had surgery but left 48 hours after my surgery.

I understand feeling alone. I also only told about 3 people at that time I had surgery so I also had the weight of this huge secret. I was afraid something would go wrong and I was all alone and no one even knew I had surgery or was close enough to check on me.

All I can say is it gets better, hang in there.

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That's exactly how I feel! Like what if something goes wrong, then what! Just took my first shower 4 days post op and feel much better. Was easier than I thought. It is hard having this huge "secret" that no one would understand. I'm glad so did it, so far, just hopes it gets better. And yes it is sad when no one knows you even had surgery, much less this surgery. No one to check on you, or just to see how you are doing. My family is checking on me, but they are checking because of my hiatal hernia surgery. Only 3 people at work, that I trust know that I had the hiatal hernia surgery.

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