As a newbie I'm asking "What kinda site is this?"

[celticNgel 144]

I just joined this site yesterday and I was surfing the forums, and I couldn't help recognizing all of the fighting...is this normal? My doctor recommended this site as a source of support as I start this journey, but I'm not so sure. Is this site always so negative?

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Everyone is hungry with raging hormones. Short answer.

This forum is still nicer than a lot of others.

WLS community is cut throat, just like the rest of the internet.

There is lots of good information here, just ignore people you don't like and keep going.

[celticNgel 144]

Well, I've been on a couple of the forums, but darn, there's a lot of attitude here. I get the whole hormonal thing, and Lord knows, the hunger thing, but I need support - not serious negativity!!!

[chasingpolaris321 214]

I had surgery in 2014 and then a revision on 9/1 of this year. I have noticed that the site has changed considerably between my first surgery and my second (more trolls/fighting) but I think it's still a very valuable source of information and support if you can look past it. I agree with @OutsideMatchInside that this is just part of the nature of the internet, and you have to take advice from strangers on the internet with a grain of salt. There are lots of nice people on here though, and I would encourage you to reach out to individual posters for advice and support. Good luck!

[Véronique 238]

11 minutes ago, celticNgel said:

Well, I've been on a couple of the forums, but darn, there's a lot of attitude here. I get the whole hormonal thing, and Lord knows, the hunger thing, but I need support - not serious negativity!!!

Sometimes, support can include "serious negativity". A black and white view of the world is not healthy, and seeing feedback that makes you uncomfortable as solely "negative" might make it harder for you to recognize and implement good advice. I know there is a lot of immaturity and some people may be downright mean but sometimes negativity may be important.

For example, if you post here that you're afraid you ruined your surgery because you ate a whole pizza, you'll likely get some negative feedback. This is because many of us (myself included) are subjected to a litany of idiotic classes by our insurance companies about diet. Moments of weakness are understandable but the answer isn't to baby people, the answer is to light a fire under people's butts to get them to make the necessary changes to make this surgery a success.

[celticNgel 144]

While I understand that Veronique, you would certainly think that "normal" people wouldn't be talking about blowing peoples heads off with a 9 mm!!!! Childish....

[Véronique 238]

9 minutes ago, celticNgel said:

While I understand that Veronique, you would certainly think that "normal" people wouldn't be talking about blowing peoples heads off with a 9 mm!!!! Childish....

Yeah, I hate when people flippantly use that language, especially as a gun owner.

[celticNgel 144]

I actually think that's a riot!!! Why can't you have it? Is it the carbonation?

[Véronique 238]

Just now, celticNgel said:

I actually think that's a riot!!! Why can't you have it? Is it the carbonation?

I've heard it could enlarge the pouch created in the surgery.

[expectopatronum 37]

I just joined this site yesterday and I was surfing the forums, and I couldn't help recognizing all of the fighting...is this normal? My doctor recommended this site as a source of support as I start this journey, but I'm not so sure. Is this site always so negative?

I think you get the good with the bad, but you quickly figure out who to tune out. Welcome!

Sent from my SM-G935T using BariatricPal mobile app

[celticNgel 144]

Thank you all for your honest answers and welcoming behavior. I know I'm here for me, and I won't use the excuse that "They're mean so I can't go there" as a reason to fall. I'm in, I'm staying and I'm taking no prisoners, except that emotional eater inside me. I plan on making it this time, no matter what.

[Kat410 423]

3 hours ago, celticNgel said:

I just joined this site yesterday and I was surfing the forums, and I couldn't help recognizing all of the fighting...is this normal? My doctor recommended this site as a source of support as I start this journey, but I'm not so sure. Is this site always so negative?

How long have you been on the internet?

I used to participate in usenet forums in the early 90s. This is nothing.

That said, in person - people disagree, fight, argue and say nasty things.

On an online forum - people disagree, fight, argue and say nasty things.

In an online forum there is no repercussion or real consequence to doing so.

So, take the good with the bad and participate in whatever way works for you.

[celticNgel 144]

I never went into chat rooms or forums -- it wasn't my thing. I was seriously concerned though when I came on here yesterday to a "support forum" and read where someone said if they had a 9 mm gun they would shoot the other person in the head....! I don't believe that the keyboard and anonymity is free reign for people to be abusive. I think that's cowardly!!!

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

I agree that's inappropriate, to say the least, but it was, presumably, one poster. And sure, there are others that will be negative or unnecessarily blunt or whatever. But there is a ton of useful information to be found here; I've found the suggestions about what to drink/eat for each stage helpful, for example. Or the advice to get some Gas-X before the surgery! very useful.

I also found it inspiring to look at the before/after pictures in several threads. I still can't quite picture myself in one of the "after" pictures looking a normal weight . . . it's been a long, long time since that was true.

Best of luck . . . I'm almost at the pureed stage and so sick of Protein Shakes I could scream. Oh, another tip: Protein Water. It's saved my sanity.

[celticNgel 144]

Thanks XYZ. I was very honestly not wanting to create a stir, I really wanted to know if others felt supported and edified. Believe me, I understand that there are jerks in the world, but I am in a place right now where I want to set myself up for success, not agitation.