Who are you telling (pre-op)?

[Arthur Dent 20]

Hello, all! First post. I have decided to have a sleeve gastrectomy, and I've told my parents, brother, and a few very close friends. (Of course, my spouse knows too!) Should I tell more people to help build my support network, or would that invite criticism from people who will just say I need more diet and exercise?

Who did you tell before the surgery? Why did you decide to tell them, and what kind of reactions did you get?

Edited April 26, 2017 by Arthur Dent

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

It really depends on whether you think the people will be supportive. I told my husband, my two teen daughters and two very close friends. I didn't tell my mother. I didn't tell my sister. I told work I was having a surgical procedure and would be out for about a week. I knew that my mother would be outright hostile. I was worried my sister would be a nervous nelly about the surgery. My mom died 6 weeks after surgery and never knew. Still haven't told my sister. Didn't tell work because its none of their business. That's why I have sick time. Besides, I'm a desk jockey and went back to work six days after my surgery.

My hospital offered three differently timed support groups. I'm part of a Facebook private group for people who had surgery in the same month and participate here. Obviously, I've told all my doctors, but that doesn't count.

Only you can decide if people are going to be supportive. I have struggled with my weight for many years and did not feel the need to share this journey with anyone other than my immediate family and two very close friends.

[ashleey921 62]

My mom, 3 close friends, my cousin (she's the only one I know down here in GA since I just moved a year ago) and a coworker who has had the surgery herself. No one else because I feel it's no one else's business and I dont care to hear why I shouldnt be having the surgery..

[Paul Bahr 73]

I kept it pretty close telling only those people very close to me. Once I was in the airport (had mine done in Mexico), I posted on Facebook what I was doing. That way I didn't have to hear from a bunch of people all the crap that you're worried about hearing. I heard it from one, but EVERYONE else has been very supportive. Of course, there were and are gobs of questions regarding my choice to go to Mexico.

[specialkron 32]

I actually have only told my husband! When my mom found out that I wanted to get it done she first of all thought that it wasn't going to do anything for me (that I would gain it all back if I lost anything) and I should just lose weight the "natural way" even though I've tried so many times and she's taught me the yo-yo dieting cycle. Anyway, she was especially upset when she found out I was planning on going to Mexico. So the first surgery date I scheduled I cancelled due to her begging, and yelling and crying and finally getting the cold shoulder for a week.

I'm now out of the house and I don't plan on telling her or any other family members. My husband has been a great support so far and I'm looking forward to utilizing these forums for support as well.

But! I'd say that if you have other people in your life that you think would help you on your journey and you're comfortable with telling them, I think that could definitely be a big help. Just don't be like me and let their opinions sway your decision!

[ashleey921 62]

I wonder why people are so against weight loss surgery. It's life saving just like any other surgery smh. I dont get it.

[starfishwish 129]

I've told my mom and obviously my husband knows. That's all. It's nobody's business but my own.

[specialkron 32]

11 minutes ago, ashleey921 said:

I wonder why people are so against weight loss surgery. It's life saving just like any other surgery smh. I dont get it.

Yeah I agree it's pretty awful :/ I think that some people just hear of one bad experience and make their mind up that the whole process does not work even when presented with positive experiences and facts.

[chynadoll619 247]

Only my mom and fiance knows.. other than that, my body.. my business

[emoji813]2017 could it be, a new me? yaaaass please![emoji813]

[Roux-en-McClanahan 79]

That's because everyone these days has a M.D. from Google and Very Strong Opinions[emoji769]. I'm only going to tell people I regularly eat or drink with because I will soon be unable to eat or drink that way.

[ashleey921 62]

34 minutes ago, specialkron said:

Yeah I agree it's pretty awful :/ I think that some people just hear of one bad experience and make their mind up that the whole process does not work even when presented with positive experiences and facts.

People hear weight loss surgery and automatically think "lazy" and "easy way out" but if they actually did some research they would see that is NOT the case. It's surgery so Im not even sure how any surgery would be considered "easy" lol.

[blizair09 3,250]

I told anyone and everyone. It has kept and will continue to keep me accountable!

Edited April 26, 2017 by blizair09
grammar typo

[MarinaGirl 608]

I only told 1 person, a friend, that I was considering going to Mexico for surgery. She's been out of town for a few weeks so I'll see her for the first time later this week. It was nice to have "me" time in TJ and just rest, relax, and recover. I have a low BMI so didn't want to hear that I'm too skinny for surgery or for people to go on and on about Mexico. The good news is a couple of my co-morbidities have already improved.

[fromtheneckup 19]

I am struggling with this right now. I have only told my husband, 2 children and best friend. Not sure if I am going to tell my brothers or my mother in law. Ugh. Struggling to figure it out and I am running out of time. [emoji12]

[Monarchbutter 0]

Good evening I am new to this group and I am looking for a surgery buddy. I had surgery on march 6, 2017 and I would really like a buddy to connect with not only to see how they are doing but I would like to be able to motivate them and they can motivate me.